BULLET, CHAPTER EIGHT

[a_sporking_rat]

BULLET, CHAPTER EIGHT

Asher takes off his pants, hesitates for a second, and according to Anita it's because he's embarrassed that Richard's upper body is perfect while his own is scarred. JC and Anita fret about this, but Richard just tells him to strip, Asher snarks back, Richard "opened his mouth to say something harsh" but JC gives him a look so instead he tells Asher that the scars he got from silver bullets last summer were terrible and that "I didn't like being less than perfect". Gee, I'm sure this would make Asher feel like he totally has a kindred soul except for the part where you were able to take energy from the triumvirate to heal those wounds SO YOUR SCARS DIDN'T LAST LIKE HIS.

This prompts Anita to think about how without the power of the triumvirate to heal wounds on both Richard and JC that even supernaturals couldn't ordinarily heal (such as from holy items or fire) "there would be three men in the room with serious scars on all that creamy and tanned goodness, respectively."

Creamy and tanned goodness meaning their skin. Keep the weirdness of the phrase in mind, because it reappears in an even weirder way on the next page.

Asher points out he doesn't have a triumvirate to heal up his scars. Richard responds that "I've tried nice, but sympathy just makes you angry." Maybe because YOUR SYMPATHY SUCKS. And Asher doesn't strike meas the type that even wants sympathy, because that reminds him of his scars and hurts his pride; he doesn't want to be PITIED. Maybe you should just try IGNORING THEM instead of bringing them up right before sex and then recounting how you had some scars once for a very short time but you don't anymore and expecting THAT to make him feel better.

Richard's solution is to instead grab Asher by the hair in one hand and around the waist in the other, violent pull Asher to him, and tell him, "I want you naked. I want to see it all. I want you tied up and naked, and if you make me tell you to strip again I'll rip your clothes off your back." and then tosses Asher to the floor.

I don't think you want that, Richard. I think LKH just thinks it's hot for you to say so.

Asher catches himself on the bed and strips, and Anita tells us that what Richard said "reassured him, made him feel desired" because he didn't hesitate again. Uh, yeah, there's no OTHER reason he wouldn't, right? Even though she could very well be right, the way she says this as statement of fact just annoys me.

They tie Asher up and Anita yammers to us a lot about the bed frame and learning from Asher how to top Nathaniel on it and some more BDSM 'rules' and apparently Asher's safeword is "no mas"...dude, "no mas" means "no more". His safeword is "no more"? That is a terrible safeword. It's as bad as Anita's being "enough". The whole point of safewords is that words and phrases like no, don't, stop, enough, etc., are all almost always part of the fantasy and thus are not to be treated as actual requests to stop, and the safeword is therefore selected specifically as something you WOULDN'T normally say to get someone to stop hurting you, like "purple buffalo!" or "froggie pudding!" or something. Good gimp-masks, even I know that!

JC gets out their toy trunk and anita talks about how she never thought she'd see Richard digging through the toys even though "I'd known he liked this kind of sex". Someone enlighten me, has there been any indication in the past that Richard liked BDSM at all? Or is this just an Anita Is Always Right/Knew Everything All Along Retcon? JC is shirtless, but considering that he was already wearing leather pants and boots, this is, as Anita herself says, pretty much a bondage costume in itself. Anita gets a bondage dress to go change into in the bathroom. It's made of leather, zips up to the neck, is belted at the waist ("making my waist look even tinier" in case you didn't know her waist was tiny, heaven forbid), and has a short but full skirt. "June Cleaver does bondage" as she puts it. We get a paragraph about Anita's tits and the way they sit in the dress depending on how high or low she zips it, and she decides to zip it low enough "until my breasts looked like they were spilling out, or would at any moment" that is probably the only time the word 'spill' has made CLOSE to any sense in context.

And the, get ready for this...she looks in the mirror, ogles her own breasts , and thinks "Wow, look at all that creamy goodness."

Creamy goodness. CREAMY. GOODNESS. I had heard fellow anti-fans talk of the phrase before, but I had yet to truly believe she'd ever actually used it in reference to her own damn tits before now.

You know, if you like your boobs, great for you. I'm serious, I think it's awesome when women love their bodies in general. But I didn't need nine sentences about your 'creamy goodness" titties. And I'm someone who LIKES tits. Not to mention it's just the strangest way ever to refer to them. Even weirder than 'sweater hogans".

When she re-emerges, JC and Asher gape at her and make such a fuss about how hot she is and how much they want her, and JC in fact, as "part of the game", taunts Asher about how "you don't get to touch her tonight." Anita thinks about how if SHE were the one tied up, "humiliation or taunting" like that would make her stop being in bottom mode and start being an angry asshole like she usually is. Okay, well, Asher has different limits and kinks than you do, Anita, and since he's the one tied up right now, knowing what yours are don't really matter. But thanks for pointlessly informing the reader of this anyway. It's so boring when everything isn't about YOU every sentence, after all.

Richard, meanwhile, is trying to get on some leather pants, but he says they won't fit because he's gained too much muscle from the gym. I guess shapeshifters never have trouble fitting into leather pants for any reason except 'sexy' ones, unlike us common folk. I'm almost surprised he didn't say it didn't fit because of his dick instead. Seriously, I could see that happening in these books, I really could. the Richard looks up and sees Anita and is all staring because she's so sexy "Gob-smacked, Byron, one of our newer British vampires would have called it." Is this a real British phrase? And he's not new. He arrived in Incubus Dreams, that's the twelfth book, and this is the nineteenth.

Then Richard needs to hold on to the bed to keep standing, because I guess she's so sexy she's upset his sense of balance. He drops the leather pants and "let me see that it wasn't just his face that had reacted to the sight of me in the dress." So he has a boner. You're writing about a pseudo-BDSM four-way and you can't type the word 'erection'? The Anita thinks about how hot Richard is now that she can see his boner. Although she doesn't SAY that of course. And she thinks about the time she first saw him. Richard says that he can tell she isn't ogling him anymore and asks who she's thinking of and now he's getting angry again. "Of all the men in my life, only he'd ever used his rage against me." I thought it turned out to be YOUR rage inside him?

JC just says "Ma petite" and these words give Anita a paragraph of sudden understanding and introspection that she needs to fix this because "we needed this to work the way kids need their fighting parents to make up before the divorce splits the family" because a divorce could never actually be the best option for that very family I suppose "and the possessions. The problem with the three of us was that the "possessions" included people. More than any child, the vampires and werewolves and other shapeshifters in this city were possessions. We needed to grow up and fix this."

I thought that when she said "fix this" that she meant STOP HAVING/THINKING OF/TREATING PEOPLE AS POSSESSIONS but actually what she meant was fix the fight with Richard so that "the possessions" won't get split up like in a divorce. Holy hell, do I even need to explain how fucked up that is?

Anita tells him she was thinking about him, the past him when she first saw him nude at the Circus of the Damned with a nude woman also in the room and how "I never asked how you ended up there like that." Richard understandably looks confused and asks what she wants to know about that. Anita says "I don't know. I was just thinking I never questioned it. I never asked if you and Rashada were lovers. You asked me out the same night, so I assumed you weren't dating anyone else. Was I naive, Richard? Was I just naive then?"

Her name was Rashida, not Rashada. I've still got the library copy of Circus of the Damned right here and I checked. And honestly, it would seem more naive to me for Anita to have assumed Richard was boning Rashida, given that she seems to have always been aware how casual that shapeshifters are about nudity. Considering she also knew, I think, that shifting back to human form leaves most comatose for awhile, I'd have thought her first assumption was that they'd both been out cold and were put in bed together until they woke up. That was always my guess. The only thing I think Anita was naive about was assuming Richard was human, given where he was.

Richard though just gets all gentle and has an honest expression and touches herr face and says "We both were." No, you were both just decent characters. Okay, Anita has always been an asshole, but she wasn't as bad as she is now, and at that point she had potential to get better. And then her and JC and Richard all kind of huddle together and stroke each other's hair and stuff and he "pressed our faces together" (the mental image I get from that is probably not what LKH intended) and asks "If we'd known what would happen, would we have run from each other?"

One, Anita ran from Richard. Two, if I were Richard and I knew what Anita would become, I would have run like a meep-meeping desert bird away from a certain coyote.

Jean-Claude recommends thinking positive instead and says that "if we had not had each other to turn to in times of trouble" (WHEN I FIND MYSELF IN TIMES OF TROUBLE, MOTHER MARY COMES TO--oh wait wrong thing) then they might not be alive and "many of our vampires and wolves" would be "dead or trapped by sadistic masters" and Richard kisses ass some more by saying "Not just my wolves. Anita and Micah have helped a lot of shapeshifters in town." He then says Asher will need to be "tamed" if JC wants to keep him as second and the werehyenas in town. JC agrees, and Anita asks him to "define tamed".

...uh, maybe someone who won't ditch you and take the hyenas, Anita? I think that's the general goal for THIS ENTIRE ORGY? The orgy that you have STILL not gotten to? And not in the sexy-buildup way but in the constant-derailment way.

Richard says that "the suspicious tone in your voice, it's so you, Anita" and Anita says that she's her so how else would she sound? I think maybe she's supposed to be witty here, I'm not sure. Richard then asks "How can I love you and still want to do such terrible things to you and with you? How can it be okay with you that I like what I like?"

GREAT. MORE DERAILMENT, THIS TIME WITH BONDAGE-ANGST.

Anita for once is actually useful and nips this one in the bud by telling Richard she doesn't want to have this talk again. He says he doesn't either. Then he talks about how he wants to have sex with Anita, taunt Asher that he doesn't get to have him, and is willing to do touching with Jean-Claude. Then he talks about the stuff he wants to do with Anita and have JC do with Anita while making Asher watch. And gets another hard-on that is not referred to as a hard-on but as "his body was responding to the thought". Anita looks at his hard-on, he asks if she wants him, she says what, he repeats the question, she doesn't know what to say, JC says for her to tell the truth, she says yes. GOOD FREAKING GRIEF THAT WAS NOT A DIFFICULT QUESTION.

Richard says that's good because he's missed her, then grabs her around the waist so fast that "I made that girl-scream squeal." Uh, okay, if you must call it that. He picks her up off the ground and says that her skin smells good because she's afraid of him and asks if she understands that. She gulps and says yes. He asks if she understands that he wants her afraid, she says "It's that chase-the-prey thing, I get it." He growls and then asks if she trusts him. She can't seem to talk so she just nods yes, even though she tells us that the real answer is just a maybe. Again, no expert in bondage, but I don't think you're supposed to say you're okay with something unless you really seriously 100% are.

Then he says good and throws her on the bed like a projectile: "I felt his muscles tense, and then I was airborne and falling toward the bed."

That is much more hilarious in my head than it is sexy.

Comments

[a-sporking-rat.livejournal.com]

Actually, this whole chapter gave me horrible secondhand embarrassment.

This whole BOOK gives me secondhand embarrassment!

[mocha-latta.livejournal.com]

There's almost something endearing about the gang getting into their bondage gear. Not endearing as in "oh, what likable people/ actions", but it's sweet that LKH's version of bondage comes with wardrobe changes and is this huge production.
NOW I'm not saying that people don't do this, and that changing clothing doesn't help change your mindset, but idk this just comes across as weirdly formal and dull. Less of an actual kink and more of the imitation of one, like they're putting on costumes. Maybe it's because there's not catalyst for it, just "we're going to do the bondage now, time for the leather".

Also THEY LEAVE ASHER TIED UP WITHOUT SUPERVISION? (As far as I can see, Anita's in the bathroom, Richard's getting dressed, and JC's rooting around for toys.)
NO.
NO.
A sub can hurt themselves if they don't have a way out. They can have a panic attack, the knots can be too tight and they can lose circulation (I know, vampire, but still), the sub can go into a bad headspace if they feel abandoned, so many things can go wrong!

Also poor Asher, all tied up and when everyone returns to the room they talk over him about about fuck all for 15 minutes at least.

[uf-addict.livejournal.com]

Thank you - that was exactly my feeling as well. It was so contrived that it didn't feel the least bit real.

It was like they decided to play dress up and then they were going to play some bondage games and they were going to enjoy it dammit because we must! We must grow up and fix our relationship problems before we endanger the safety of our people! Even though we feel weird and unsure of ourselves and we have to stop and talk about all our previous relationship issues while Asher is tied to the bed - we must do this! We are going to have group sex and tame Asher and live happily ever after. Just as soon as we get the leather outfits on!

[magdalen77.livejournal.com]

It's even worse because Hamilton made a big project of buying such a dress. She and Jon, her husband, her husband Jon were visiting friends and some restaurant they wanted to go to had wool covered seating. Hamilton is allergic to wool. The last time they went the owners had found some old leather chair for her to sit on. This time she decided to get her assistant to order her a leather dress for overnight delivery from Ugly Leather Dresses R Us (not seriously, I don't remember the name). I was exactly has she described Anita's dress down to LKH admiring her own creamy mounds.

But Anita isn't her avatar, of course not. How silly of me.

[baeraad.livejournal.com]

Ye gods, the derailments! I swear that LKH's attention span has shrunk over the years. Even back in the early books, one of my complaints was that while she was really good at writing individual scenes, they felt oddly disjointed, each one seeming to be written as a thing in itself without forming a coherent narrative when you put them all together. That was then, though, and this is now. Now she seems unable to even put a scene together - she goes two lines and then goes off on some random tangent that seems more interesting to her than what the scene is supposedly about.

Two, if I were Richard and I knew what Anita would become, I would have run like a meep-meeping desert bird away from a certain coyote.

I love that turn of phrase. :D

[rodentfanatic.livejournal.com]

Now if only we could find a way to drop some anvils on that animator...

[uf-addict.livejournal.com]

Hi - been following your sporking for a couple weeks now and greatly enjoying. I have to say you are brave to take on Bullet as this was the book that killed the ABverse for me. And these last few chapters mark the places where I felt my brain leaking out and every single last character that I held on to through the last several books just died a horrible degrading death. No brave raging against the light - it was a tail tucking whimper. I felt sick - no doubt the pained look on my face while reading this was notable.

Richard and Asher were the last of my favorite main characters and I read the previous 4-5 books just to get a glimpse of what was happening with them and a few other interesting characters. I chose to endure Anita, whom I couldn't stand for a very long time, just to have some fun in the world. But it hasn't been fun for a long time as we kept getting stuck in the bedroom, or on the way to the bedroom, while enduring pages and pages and pages of whining. My ego would wisely tell me that we are going to be stuck here for several chapters while my id would scream "RUN!".

Anyway, these chapters were like reading about the capture and degradation of the final original characters that had some backbone.

And "creamy goodness"....... this is just sad. I couldn't stand the character of Anita anymore but with this statement I finally felt pity. Anita Blake now ogles her own breasts and thinks creamy goodness. What I thought is not only is she viewed as just magical tits and ass by everyone else, but she also views herself that way.

[rodentfanatic.livejournal.com]

Hi there! I'm so glad you like my sporks! (This is my main, very under-used account, a-sporking-rat is what I use for, well, sporks, though I use both in the comments as I'm sure you've noticed.) CS is where I originally gave up, hahah. The last one I read fully before starting this blog was NiC.

I was the same way, I was pretty much always reading for the secondary characters, not Anita herself.

She not only views herself that way, she does so with terrible adjectives.

[nanoquill.livejournal.com]

Wasn't there mention of a rumour that Asher was considering making his own triumvirate? What possessed Richard to point out to him a benefit of doing so that he might not have known about/thought of?

The safeword thing - the only situation I can think of where "no mas" or "enough" would be okay would be if the sub had been ordered not to speak, but left ungagged. Even then, they only work if the sub isn't into disobeying so that they'll be 'punished'.

And the derailment of the scene... If I were Asher, this would not be making me less likely to pack up and leave. 'We'll tie you to the bed so that you're out of the way, and then we'll go back to giving all our attention to Anita and the skewed Issues all of us have.'

And as a final thing:
"More than any child, the vampires and werewolves and other shapeshifters in this city were possessions. We needed to grow up and fix this."
LKH THINKS CHILDREN ARE POSSESSIONS?!

[rodentfanatic.livejournal.com]

What possessed Richard to point out to him a benefit of doing so that he might not have known about/thought of?
The breaking-fourth-wall knowledge that LKH wouldn't allow Asher to do it no matter what.

APPARENTLY SHE DOES! Or at least Anita does! Wait, same person.

[watersheerie.livejournal.com]

Jean-Claude recommends thinking positive instead and says that "if we had not had each other to turn to in times of trouble" (WHEN I FIND MYSELF IN TIMES OF TROUBLE, MOTHER MARY COMES TO--oh wait wrong thing) then they might not be alive and "many of our vampires and wolves" would be "dead or trapped by sadistic masters" and Richard kisses ass some more by saying "Not just my wolves. Anita and Micah have helped a lot of shapeshifters in town."

More of LKH trying to justify how good and heroic Anita is. Problem is, most of the troubles that have occurred, happened because of Anita. Maybe it used to be that Anita would go out and hunt monsters, but lately the monsters come to Anita to fight her and she just cleans up their mess. That's what's been going lately. Anita is not actively helping others, she's just protecting herself and her boytoys, everyone else is collateral damage (this point will really hit home later in the book, Anita only cares about her boytoys, everyone else is cannon fodder).

So no, I don't believe that everyone would be fucked if Anita hadn't taken over. To be honest I think things would be a lot better. Richard wouldn't be trapped as a slave to a monster-woman who forces him to feel her rage and forces him to do sexual things he doesn't care for then manipulates him into thinking it's all his fault. Remember when Jason wanted to be more than a stripper? Well now that he's Anita's fuckbuddy, that's the only thing he will be for the rest of his life, Nate too, I'm sure they appreciate having their goals and very lives narrowed down to just pleasing one monster-woman. Oh hey, speaking of Nate, I'm sure he and Damien enjoy having their very life-force tied to a woman who can't be bothered to eat enough, even if it means that they'll die if she doesn't. Or JC and Asher, maybe if Anita wasn't around, JC and Asher would be back as happy lovers, maybe JC could've found another way to get rid of the previous master of the city, he could have gotten Richard to help too. And in return JC could help Richard get rid of Raina, or Edward would've just done the job right and quick when he came to town.

The thing is, LKH and Anita have this really narrow mindset where there are no other options. There are no other choices or paths. She seriously believes that her way and her very existence is the only way others have survived (keeping in mind that JC, the centuries old vamp managed to survive long before her). But again, the universe must revolve around her and her massive snatch.

[rodentfanatic.livejournal.com]

but lately the monsters come to Anita to fight her and she just cleans up their mess

Excellent point. That was what happened in NiC, Skin Trade, and Flirt.

To be honest I think things would be a lot better

Me too. Yes, even with Raina and Gabriel, especially since I do think someone would have stopped them eventually anyway, probably Richard and Sylvie.

Oh hey, speaking of Nate, I'm sure he and Damien enjoy having their very life-force tied to a woman who can't be bothered to eat enough, even if it means that they'll die if she doesn't.

Ugggh I just got through the chapter where NATHANIEL HAS BEEN SHOT and needs energy to heal from Anita and Damian STILL has to coax her to eat some damn breakfast. I swear, I think she gets off on making them beg for that. Enjoys their dependence on her. You know she would.

[watersheerie.livejournal.com]

Ugggh I just got through the chapter where NATHANIEL HAS BEEN SHOT and needs energy to heal from Anita and Damian STILL has to coax her to eat some damn breakfast. I swear, I think she gets off on making them beg for that. Enjoys their dependence on her. You know she would.

Seriously! I remember reading that and thinking to myself, 'is it really that hard for you to eat something, to save the lives of people you love?' And this Nate, one of her special 'sweeties,' and she has to be forced just to eat something.

A friend of my family was recently diagnosed with a disease that would require a bone marrow transplant. They were looking for donors within the family, but I offered in case they couldn't find one. It didn't even require any thought. This person I care about is in need, I wanted to help, that's what people who love each do. (happy ending to that story, they found a treatment that would make a transplant unnecessary, worked and she's doing much better.)

[uf-addict.livejournal.com]

"How can I love you and still want to do such terrible things to you and with you? How can it be okay with you that I like what I like?"

Now this is where I get confused:

Way back in LC we discovered that Richard can get excited by watching the porn movie that ended with a werewolf shifting while having sex. And then the werewolf killed and ate her which sickened Richard. This seemed like a very normal reaction to me. Yes it was a bit edgy and uncomfortable for Richard to feel excited but then normal for him to get sick when the girl was killed and eaten. Based on the following dialogue between Richard and Anita this was a temptation. Not the killing and eating but shifting during sex.

Then in ID we are told by Anita that Richard is a closet sadist because he was excited by the idea of having sex with Anita while she smelled of fear. Now I don't know about anyone else but I found it incredibly jarring to have the character of Richard labelled as a sadist. When I think sadist I think of Raina and Gabriel. Never once was Richard referred to as a top or dominant in sex play. She called him a sadist. Which was later demonstrated in the same book when Richard's girlfriend told Richard he made love like a rapist. They go on and on about how Richard likes rough sex and can be vigorous to the point of painful.

Then in TH we have that horrible sex scene with Richard again where he pounds Anita so hard she bleeds. Which he likes but doesn't want to like it even though Anita seemed to like it just fine. And it ends in another awful angsty moment.

My point here is that slowly the books introduced BDSM where the author is dipping her toe into the subject a bit clumsily. She writes Anita being introduced to it and then before you know it they have a trunk full of toys in JC's bedroom and velcro cuffs at the house in the country. Everyone gets in on it and everyone likes to play at topping or bottoming. The last several books almost always bring it into play and it is all very acceptable and normal by now.

Yet.....when it comes to Richard, it seems to be portrayed as something much darker and dangerous. So is Richard still supposed to be a sadist?

[rodentfanatic.livejournal.com]

That's a good point. It's pretty clearly harmless fun, good clean kink, etc with everyone else (even Nathaniel at this point *facepalm*) but it is indeed shown as something monstrous with Richard when you look at it like that. I couldn't tell you. I really don't know much about sadism and what the line is between a healthy normal person who just likes that sort of thing in the bedroom under totally consensual circumstances as a fantasy, and people like Raina and Gabriel. Not saying there isn't a line, there most definitely is, I just have no clue what it's considered to be in psychology and the bondage scene...my guess would be never violating consent and having no desire for an actual nonconsensual encounter, but I don't know which side of that Richard falls on either.

[nic echo (from livejournal.com)]

I have always found the term sadist to be difficult and often find myself differentiating between BDSM sadism and actual sadism. As for the line, it isn't clear and cut. As you mentioned, consent is a MUST as well as keeping your partner safe. Having thoughts of a nonconsensual desire is where it gets tricky. Obviously, if those thoughts start becoming reality, bad! However, I have met people that have claimed the desire, but the consensual fantasies help ease their desires. Okay, they may have something off with them, but if they can control themselves, should they not be able to play as well?

@UF_Addict I should point out that a top, a dominant, and a sadist (even BDSM variety) are different things. Now, most sadists do tend to be doms, but that isn't always the case. There are also a good amount of people that dom from the bottom. Of course, they are probably all one and the same to Ms. Darkity Sex Goddess.

[rodentfanatic.livejournal.com]

often find myself differentiating between BDSM sadism and actual sadism

Yeah, that's what I was trying to get at! I'll use those terms from now on, thanks. And thank you for the perspective as someone who's actually talked to other actually involved with BDSM, I appreciate it!

[nic echo (from livejournal.com)]

Well, I've been part of the BDSM scene for a while now. Of course, that doesn't mean I know everything there is to know, which is where other people come in handy. If you ever have questions, feel free to ask. Worst that happens is I don't know. :)

[a-sporking-rat.livejournal.com]

Thank you, I will be sure to keep that in mind!

[uf-addict.livejournal.com]

I think I have a better understanding of the dynamics that LKH is trying to write here.

I think JC is being written as someone who enjoys topping and doesn't have any issues with it. For him it is bedroom play that bleeds over into other parts of his life/ruling because of what he is.

Whereas Richard is shown as a closet sadist with urges to take it further than consent and it freaks him out. Anita told him to find someone who will play with him within the lines of consent. He fears that he will not follow those rules so chooses not to play at all.

And now in Bullet he is more relaxed and admits that these urges have always been there and is more accepting. And he now has even more reason to come play with JC, Anita and party because they will play with him.

You know in a better author's hands this would have been seen as a healthy development for someone who needs to accept himself, but here in this book in these chapters it just comes off as a complete turn around with no basis. Richard just couldn't have this on his own, he had to grovel with apologies and tell Anita he was wrong about everything. And in the next book or two it will just get reset in the endless cycle of Richard's angst.

[subtle-shades.livejournal.com]

This is one of the most painfully non-sexy and embarrassing things I've ever read. Reading the chapter first hand would've been excruciating. *is impressed by your fortitude*

1.) Poor Asher. He gets naked, gets tied up, and gets forgotten. I admit, I don't know much about this sort of thing, but I thought the sub was the focus? Like, even when you're pretending to ignore him, you're really monitoring him & his well-being - especially when you've removed him from potential sources of help, tied him up, and made him helpless.

2.) Richard's brand of "comfort" is not at all comforting. It's almost as self-absorbed as Anita's brand of care. And it sounds a lot like, "Yeah, I was nearly in your boat. Thank goodness I dodged THAT bullet!" Mostly, it's a good hint as to how to get rid of the scars if plastic surgery is too painful for a vamp - and it might be - if Asher still really wants to get rid of them. Hell, everyone should have a triumverate! They sound wicked useful and easy enough to put together.

3.) I agree that as a character, Asher would probably be more comfortable if everyone went five minutes without gawking or verbally pointing out his scars. It's impossible to believe that they don't matter to these people since they very obviously DO matter a lot. Plus, the man has his pride. I imagine he'd like for someone to find him irresistibly hot - not because of or in spite of the scars but just because he IS to that person.
3a.) It's really disgusting that Anita goes out of her way to congratulate herself on having two non-scarred lovers. Yeah, sure, Asher's scars don't matter to you.
3b.) Anita's 'My tits are awesome!" scene is just too much. And ick, obviously. But shouldn't all that 'creamy goodness' be marred with a few vampire hunting scars? I thought she had some in the first book from that Valentine guy.

4.) Didn't Richard just say that he's into domming Asher for the cuddles, not sex? And then, later he's not domming Asher for the sex again. So the bit in the middle where he wants Asher naked for touching purposes is a mixed signal. And I hate all the bits where Anita tells us how Asher's feeling because, logically, she doesn't know him well enough to extrapolate that sort of thing. She's just breaking the fourth wall.

5.) ..."froggie pudding!" interests me.

6.) she never thought she'd see Richard digging through the toys even though "I'd known he liked this kind of sex". Someone enlighten me, has there been any indication in the past that Richard liked BDSM at all? Not that I know of? Mostly he has inappropriate werewolf reactions to things where he thinks, "I could totally eat that evolved monkey! I could!" which isn't sexy at all. And, unlike Anita, those thoughts horrify him. (Anita seems to have confused them for sexy thoughts.) Or is this just an Anita Is Always Right/Knew Everything All Along Retcon? I think it is. I remember Richard as being very vanilla in the first few books.

7.) JC is shirtless, but considering that he was already wearing leather pants and boots, this is, as Anita herself says, pretty much a bondage costume in itself. Anita gets a bondage dress to go change into in the bathroom. ALL of the bondage costumes sound ridiculous, physically hot & potentially chafe-worthy, and ridiculously uncomfortable to me! I admit, I don't know a lot about this sort of thing but I'd laugh at anyone who either tried to make me wear that sort of get-up so that I could be in charge or put that on and tried to tell me what to do, inside or outside of a bedroom. So maybe I'm just overly & aggressively set in my ways/norms. But making readers laugh at your characters' Sexy Timez Outfits seems like an excellent way to break any lingering tension and thus not the point of any details included in this scene. Plus, hearing about the digging through the toy box and the clothes and the changing into the clothes is boring. Is no one allowed to dom in the jeans and sweatshirt that they walked into the room wearing? (Metaphorically since I'm aware that no one in the Anita-verse dresses like that.)

[rodentfanatic.livejournal.com]

2) Triumvirates are apparently really, really hard to form, and thus very rare. Anita's only encountered two other sets, one of which belonged to a Council member.

So of course she has TWO and herself says that's supposed to be impossible.

Her scars kind of seem to come and go. They're there when she wants to impress people, but never get brought up in any capacity otherwise.

[nic echo (from livejournal.com)]

4) The BDSM scene in Bullet always really bothered me, especially Richard domming Asher. In the next chapter (or maybe the one after since there is so much crap before hand), we get to see Richard flog Asher. Okay, I realise the sex is Richard's way of trying to make things easier, but BDSM is quite intimate. True, you can mentally take yourself away from the person a bit, but I rarely see people doing a scene together unless it is with their preferred gender. People will talk shop and even do test slaps on arms or the shoulders from time to time, but scenes are usually a sexual experience (whether sex takes place or not). Add to the fact that Richard is apparently homophobic, and this screams OOC! Then, you add on the fact that Richard is making Asher strip ... What? I am not saying men can't be fine naked around other men, but again, this is a very sexual situation with a "homophobic" Richard.

[subtle-shades.livejournal.com]

8.) I like my boobs. A lot, actually. And I AM that annoying friend who will tell you that colored panties are awesome, you're wearing the wrong bra, and that your ass isn't THAT big so get a smaller set of panties. However, NO ONE needs nine sentences about how someone's tits are sitting, shaped, whatever. The secret about tits is that, regardless of size or shape or whatever, they should be enough in themselves. If you have to tell me how awesomely sexy your tits are, then you're doing something wrong. (And possibly need a bra fitting.)

9.) Sweater hogans!

10.) JC and Asher gape at her and make such a fuss about how hot she is and how much they want her, --> Isn't Asher tied up an being a good little sub? I'm pretty sure that good subs have other things to focus on rather than petting the ego of the biggest narcissist in the room. (And it's not even the narcissist who tied him up! I thought Asher was subbing to Richard? It seemed like he was Richard's sub for the night.) And if the sub doesn't, then I have to assume that someone is Doing Bondage Wrong. I don't know what, but I'll still suspect it.

11.) JC in fact, as "part of the game", taunts Asher about how "you don't get to touch her tonight." --> Maybe that's less of a taunt and more of a promise? A fun promise that Asher might want since he gets to have LOTS of disappointing sex with Anita. The whole point of this orgy thing is that he wants (potentially disappointing) sex with other people. And to move, but no one seems really worried about that.

12.) Gobsmacked is a word. It has NO HYPHEN as anyone who actually uses it can tell you. However, if I remember correctly Byron is the flamboyantly gay (except for Anita!) vamp who is, like, fifteen and calls everyone duckie. It seems unlikely that he'd use the word gobsmacked. Ever.

13.) You're writing about a pseudo-BDSM four-way and you can't type the word 'erection'? --> This is HILARIOUS. Also, shouldn't it be a six or eight way or something? I thought Nathaniel, Jason, and maybe a couple of other people followed them into the Sex Room. So where are they? Playing cards? THIS IS WHY MOST WRITERS ONLY HAVE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE IN EACH SCENE, ESPECIALLY SEX SCENES.

14.) If you're pointlessly reminiscing about random crap during sex, I'm again going to suspect that someone is Doing It Wrong.

15.) This is a HORRIBLE "family". Normally, I'm dead set against murdering your family members but I'd make an exception for this group. Also, children are NEVER possessions. The parent-child relationship is enshrined in our culture and protected by law... but NOT property law! Frankly, this is too broken and fucked up to be worth fixing, regardless of what you mean by 'fixing it'.

16.) Her name was Rashida, not Rashada. I've still got the library copy of Circus of the Damned right here and I checked. And honestly, it would seem more naive to me for Anita to have assumed Richard was boning Rashida, given that she seems to have always been aware how casual that shapeshifters are about nudity. Considering she also knew, I think, that shifting back to human form leaves most comatose for awhile, I'd have thought her first assumption was that they'd both been out cold and were put in bed together until they woke up. That was always my guess. --> but Anita DIDN'T know any of that when she set eyes on Richard. She finds out about the drain after she sees Stephan & Richard both transform in a later book. (Lunatic Cafe. I think.) And she only finds out about the casual nudity in Blue Moon, when the were-leopards are prancing around in the buff and (literally!) humping her shins.

17.) The only thing I think Anita was naive about was assuming Richard was human, given where he was. Anita was STUPID to assume anything less than 'probably not human' especially since JC never went to any pains to help Richard hide it from her. Also, what does it matter NOW if Richard had been boning that other werewolf girl back then?

[rodentfanatic.livejournal.com]

11) Hahha, that's my headcanon now!

12) That would be him, yes.

13) No, it's just the four of them. So yeah, probably off doing something like that. Jason is likely with JJ.

16) I realize her degree is in preternatural biology, not sociology and culture, but it bugs me how she's supposed to be this general expert at all things monster and yet stuff like that is ALWAYS a shock to her.

17) RIGHT?

[subtle-shades.livejournal.com]

13.) LOL - My obsession with poor JJ is pretty obvious, huh? It's all just so unfair and awful for her. I expect things to be terrible but no one signs on for that nonsense when dating.

16.) I KNOW RIGHT?! Why did anyone even hire Anita as their supernatural expert? She genuinely doesn't know any more than the people that she's supposedly informing/schooling. The police look at holes in a vic's neck and say, "Maybe a vamp?" and she nods and says, "maybe a vamp." Which adds nothing to the investigation, I might add. She's useless as a monster expert.

[mocha-latta.livejournal.com]

17) Anita's partners must never have or have had any positive relationships before, during or after her. She is the singularity of creamy goodness, gods damn it, and she makes every other woman look abusive or frigid in comparison.

[subtle-shades.livejournal.com]

18.) And then her and JC and Richard all kind of huddle together and stroke each other's hair and stuff --> I sincerely hope that Jason, Nathaniel, and Micah have dealt Asher into their card game, despite the being tied up thing. (I admit, I'd forgotten about Micah earlier. Maybe he was one of the toys that JC and Richard were digging through earlier?)

19.) I love gratuitous Roadrunner references!

20.) What is this crap about helping each other in times of trouble? I can honestly say that, when I think about it, Anita and Micah have always done what was necessary to make any given Bad Situation WORSE. And 'their people' ARE currently trapped under sadistic masters who think of them as mere possessions!

21.) He then says Asher will need to be "tamed" if JC wants to keep him as second and the werehyenas in town. JC agrees --> I DON'T! Possibly it's because I very rarely wanted to associate with people who don't want to associate with me, but I think that if someone wants to leave you LET THEM GO. They don't want to be there! Or with you! (Yeah, I'm the entirely wrong audience for that whole 'give me a reason to stay' dramatic moment. And for RL variations on it.) JC should just find a new second who WANTS to be there, get his work done, and is okay with being ignored by Anita and Co. SERIOUSLY!

22.) I think maybe she's supposed to be witty here, I'm not sure. --> Anita is ALWAYS supposed to be witty. It's not her fault that I've laughed more at dancing tree stumps.

23.) Richard then asks "How can I love you and still want to do such terrible things to you and with you? How can it be okay with you that I like what I like?" --> I HATE THIS FANFIC TROPE LIKE BURNING! LIKE, I GET THAT IT'S A THING THAT HAPPENS SOMETIMES BUT STFU!

24.) Anita for once is actually useful and nips this one in the bud by telling Richard she doesn't want to have this talk again. --> Listen, derailments are only okay if Anita is the one doing the derailing. Otherwise, she doesn't want to talk about all of your unfocused emotional bullshit. Got it?

25.) Then he talks about the stuff he wants to do with Anita and have JC do with Anita while making Asher watch. --> So.... Asher isn't going to get any sex during HIS OWN ORGY? Like, they tied him up to get him out of the way? That's cold, man. Asher needs to say his stupid fake!safe word and see if they'll honor it. (They might - not, probably - won't.) It's time to get up, get dressed, and get the hell out of St. Louis, either with or without Narci.

26.) And gets another hard-on that is not referred to as a hard-on --> I thought Richard already had one of those? What happened to the last one? Did it die during the ENDLESS TALKING? Or does he have two dicks? *thoughtfully* It might explain why he couldn't get into those leather pants...

27.) he asks if she wants him, she says what, he repeats the question, she doesn't know what to say, JC says for her to tell the truth, she says yes. GOOD FREAKING GRIEF THAT WAS NOT A DIFFICULT QUESTION. --> It is if deep down you don't really want to have any of this sort of sex. Also, Anita has to test her understanding a lot. Verbal comprehension is NOT a strong suit of hers.

28.) Richard... says that her skin smells good because she's afraid of him and asks if she understands that. She gulps and says yes. He asks if she understands that he wants her afraid, she says "It's that chase-the-prey thing, I get it." -->
a.) Anita is having sex with the wrong people if a little rough and tumble is enough to frighten her.
b.) Possible LKH has never watched the nature channel but I've yet to see wolves bone their prey or their prey's corpses. Or take a break from chasing their prey down to bone. Killing is NOT the big flippin' deal that urban fantasy authors make it. It happens and then you eat. Hopefully.

29.) Then he says good and throws her on the bed like a projectile --> LOL!

30.) I've seriously read better and more sensual fanfic. I think we all have. I wonder if LKH's AB-fans know that you can get better quality stuff for free on the internet?

[subtle-shades.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Occasionally I worry that I'm blabbing too much or look like I'm trying to horn in but RF went to all the trouble of reading the books - something that I literally can't do without devolving into frothing rage fits - and writing a review with actual quotes (THE HORROR!) so I feel like I owe it to her to take her sporking seriously and give my responses to her work proper attention.

But history has shown that I can barely make it through the free chapters online or carefully selected snippets. It probably doesn't help that, like RF, I was always into the AB-series for the secondary and tertiary characters instead of Anita herself. So I definitely couldn't do what RF does. (And people that she knows have seen her with the books! THE HORROR!)

Guh! *is imagining LKH self-publishing Merry or Anita online* The only thing stopping her, I think, is that I'm not sure that she knows that indy publishing is a thing that happens online. Because I'm not sure that she knows about e-books much less smashwords.

[rodentfanatic.livejournal.com]

Killing is NOT the big flippin' deal that urban fantasy authors make it. It happens and then you eat. Hopefully.

God, that bugs me SO much. One good thing about the wolves of the Mercy Thomspson book I read was that the author made it very clear that while the werewolves do have a lot of killing urges and dramatic junk like that, it's very much NOT reflection of real wolves at all. I appreciated that. Regular predators are not these mindless murder junkies that just want to kill kill kill all the time and I swear a lot of UF authors think that they are. And I love me some SCARY therians, don't get me wrong, I do, but I don't like the reason for that being 'because animals are like that'.

[subtle-shades.livejournal.com]

*nods* Understated scary is much more awful & chilling than NOTICE MY SCARINESS!

[lady-fellshot.livejournal.com]

The university I went to was known to have mountain lions occasionally prowl the more remote reaches of campus. I never saw one because even though there were deer absolutely everywhere, they didn't want to be around people. If you wanted a therian whose animal side had a big impact on their psyche, they would be very skittish around anything new and likely to bolt if something surprises them, not murder machines at all. That could make for an interesting character though.

A human mind getting drunk off the sudden superpowers seems like a better reason behind "kill kill kill all the time." The animal side acts as an excuse to do horrible things as if a therian bite gives the person a rabid animal instead of just an animal.

[collectively.livejournal.com]

I just imagine Asher lying there like, "HELLOOOOO...CAN WE GET TO THE DAMN ORGY I WAS PROMISED, ALREADY? I'M TIED UP OVER HERE! SOMEONE DO NAUGHTY THINGS TO ME!"

[zombiexbunny.livejournal.com]

I can't believe this was an entire chapter *baffled*

[rodentfanatic.livejournal.com]

I can't believe this is even a book.

[zombiexbunny.livejournal.com]

That either!

It shouldn't be surprising I guess. Out of curiosity, how many chapters are in this book?

I saw recently (probably a blogflog) that Affliction is around 70 chapters (which...kill me now).

[rodentfanatic.livejournal.com]

48. I remember Skin Trade was like 75 or something. But that's because the chapters were often itty-bitty. Most of the chapters in this one are about five pages each.

[wanderingworlds.livejournal.com]

1. Yes, because talking about scars that disappear completely will really make the person with VISIBLY DISFIGURING SCARS FEEL SO MUCH BETTER.

2. Creamy and tanned goodness...? Now I'm thinking about peaches and cream.

3. Actually, it sounds more like Asher just did as Richard said because Richard is the more powerful of the two of them and he knows he can't win if the two of them fight. Hell, I'm starting to get a 50 Shades of Grey feel here, and I really don't like it...

4. What, no leather speedo for JC? I am disappoint.

5. Oh, please, Anita. All 3 of these men have fucked you at some point. Why bother pretending to be virtuous and changing in the bathroom? Or are you wanting to hide the "big reveal" and walk out like a model to shock and awe your mens? Because that's nauseating all on it's own.

6. I have never, ever referred to my own boobs as "creamy" or "goodness". "Mother Nature's stress balls"? Hell yes.

7. Silly me, of course it was all about the big reveal...

8. I was just going to laugh so hard if you said that Richard couldn't get in the leather pants because he gained too much weight, period. Like, so hard. Because then he wouldn't be anyone's type, and he'd be a chubby werewolf. But then I realized it was going to be all muscle and got all disappointed. Ugh.

9. No, no. Anita's question is of legit concern, okay? Because if Anita is taming someone, she mindrapes them into a zombie, remember? So we need to clarify that's not what we want done with Asher.

10. As opposed to the man-scream squeal? And the animal-scream squeal? The it-scream squeal? ANITA YOU ARE A GIRL/WOMAN/FEMALE. UNLESS YOU HAVE DRASTICALLY ALTERED YOUR VOCAL CHORDS THAT IS ALL THE KIND OF SOUNDS YOU WILL BE MAKING.

11. ... Anyone else bothered by the fact that ONCE AGAIN, ASHER IS NOT GETTING WHAT THE WHOLE POINT OF THE ORGY WAS TO GIVE HIM? BUTTSEX? ANITA IS NOT THE MAIN FOCUS HERE GUYS. ASHER WANTS THE SEX. HE IS THE MAIN FOCUS. STOP FOCUSING ON TITTY TITTY DOOMCROTCH AND FOCUS ON ASHER. JESUS CHRIST.

[a-sporking-rat.livejournal.com]

11) SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK. IF I WAS ASHER I'D BE RIGHT THE FUCK OUT OF HERE

And yeah, that's what I was thinking on 3 too.

[wanderingworlds.livejournal.com]

11. Well, no, he can't, unless he breaks the bed. He's tied up remember?

[rodentfanatic.livejournal.com]

Vampire strength! Comes in handy for JUST these sorts of situations XD

[nic echo (from livejournal.com)]

A chubby werewolf sounds so adorable!

[aikaterini.livejournal.com]

/"there would be three men in the room with serious scars on all that creamy and tanned goodness, respectively."/

First of all, yeah, I can see how you’re able to look past Asher’s scars. The way that you keep bringing them up like that, I’m sure that you’re not shallow at all.

Second of all, can you imagine what would happen if somebody described the Phantom of the Opera as having “serious scars on all that creamy and tanned goodness” to his face? I don’t know why, but that image just cracks me up.

Third of all, stop pretending as if this pointless sex scene has any purpose other than for Anita to once again have sex with good-looking men. “For the greater good,” my foot. You’re obviously not that too concerned about your duty if you can bother spending fifteen minutes outlining how hot your partners are. At least James Bond didn’t try to claim that all of his one-night-stands were done in order to save the world or something.

/"Wow, look at all that creamy goodness."/

Whatever happened to all of your complaints about your pale skin, Anita, and how people supposedly looked down on you for being a “pale-skinned half-Mexican?” Whatever happened to all of your whining about being “short?” Does this mean that we’ll never have to hear you whine and complain about your appearance in the following books? Does that mean that you’ll stop being so stupidly jealous of other women, since you have all of this “creamy goodness?” Ha, of course not.

/I thought that when she said "fix this" that she meant STOP HAVING/THINKING OF/TREATING PEOPLE AS POSSESSIONS but actually what she meant was fix the fight with Richard so that "the possessions" won't get split up like in a divorce./

First of all, children are not possessions. Second of all, *people* are not possessions. Third of all, wow, Mommy Dearest much? Actually, no, it’s Mommy Dearest on steroids. Anita’s not content with controlling one person; oh, no, she wants to control an entire city and views its inhabitants as her children. As if she were some mighty mother goddess whose duty is to protect those poor, infantile shapeshifters as if they were children instead of adults. That’s just so patronizing and paternalistic and downright *creepy.* I could easily see those words coming out of the mouth of some evil overlord who pretends to be fatherly in order to fool his subjects into complacency when he slaughters them. Or an evil overlord who literally views people as pawns for him to control and sacrifice at will. These are *people* that you’re talking about, Anita. Full-grown adults, who don’t need you to hold their hands and tug them around, thank you very much.

[a-sporking-rat.livejournal.com]

I feel fairly sure there is probably some Phantom fic out there with something similar in it.

At least James Bond didn’t try to claim that all of his one-night-stands were done in order to save the world or something.
Hence why I roll my eyes at her claims of trying to subvert the fact men are allowed to have sex onscreen in books but not women. She's STILL going on the same ideas--that women shouldn't be allowed to have sex just cuz they want to! So she has to make these incredibly bogus excuses. It's annoying AND contradicts what she claims to want the message to be.

Second of all, *people* are not possessions.
Oh, it's okay! They're not people! Nathaniel is "our kitten" remember?

Full-grown adults, who don’t need you to hold their hands and tug them around, thank you very much.
And good thing too, since they'd be shit out of luck if that were the case. She might be 'queen' of all these weregroups, but she really does jackshit when it comes to being leader on a day to day basis with anything that doesn't involve sex and the occasional killing.

[lady-fellshot.livejournal.com]

At least James Bond didn’t try to claim that all of his one-night-stands were done in order to save the world or something.

At least James Bond gets bitten/stomped/shot at when he has a one night stand with the wrong girl and has to deal with the aftermath as a direct result later in the story. None of this orgy induced mindwipe crap.