a-sporking-rat (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
a_sporking_rat) wrote2013-05-28 05:08 pm
a_sporking_rat) wrote2013-05-28 05:08 pm
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BULLET, CHAPTER 32, PART TWO
Last year, my mother's Christmas gift to me was that when it got warm enough, she would pay for a trail ride for me. Today was the day I redeemed that. Dad took me out to a ranch, and I was signed up for a two-hour morning ride with a group. I had been here before and knew that they had five black Percheron mares, and I asked if one would be available for me to ride, and, yup, one was! Lola, same girl I had last time. She's this big gorgeous thing with a white blaze on her face and three white socks of varying heights. She's a wonderfully smooth ride, as drafts tend to be, and her one quirk (all the horses there are mostly perfect but have some quirk, I've noticed, because after all they're not machines!) and hers is that she likes to rub her belly on things. Stumps, young trees she can bend over, that kind of thing. It's not her fault, she's got a fly allergy so all the fly bites on her underside itch her something awful. I'm told she also bites but I've never had a problem with that.
She behaved pretty well for me this time though! There was really just one problem spot where I couldn't get her off some trees (I am not afraid to give a horse a good kick, it's just that doesn't have much effect when the horse weighs around a ton!) but the guide helped. We passed by a deer that was nestled in the brush, and it didn't move even though it was less than ten feet from us. The guide said that it smelled the horses and not us and that's why it wasn't afraid. Despite it being a Georgia summer, it was pretty cool too since we were in the woods and thus shaded the whole time.
Only one thing was unfortunate, and that was the conversation. I admit, my ideal trail ride is one in total silence to just appreciate the woods and the horse, but I've never gotten that. People in a group are going to talk, that's just how it is. And I don't begrudge 'em that. What I most certainly do begrudge is where one guy decided to lead the conversation.
People in some parts of Georgia will ask "Where do you go to church?" upon meeting you because church is a really social thing, almost like a club for some folks/in some areas, but this guy straight-out asked one of the women in our group "Are you religious?" and even in the south that is a REALLY personal question. Definitely not one for a bunch of strangers on what should be a nice relaxing horse ride. She said she was, and they got to talking about it, and he basically used the conversation as a platform to very loudly broadcast his pretty fundamentalist and judgmental interpretation of Christianity, and, as if that wasn't uncomfortable enough, it seems no one else in the group was bothered, because they seemed to agree with him, at least everyone who spoke, and one turned out to be a nanny who was actively trying to convert her teenage charge, including taking him to church against his will. Needless to say, my ride got pretty nerve-wracking because I was terrified of any of them taking notice of me and asking MY opinion about anything, knowing then that, as an atheist lesbian, someone like me would probably be an object of hate and/or pity for them all, judging by the opinions being bandied about and praised. Luckily I was on the opposite end of the line and am a very quiet, easily-invisible sort, so no one talked to me at all about anything except the guide.
It's not that I think religion should never be discussed, but I do think it's rude to bring up a really divisive issue out of the blue in a group of strangers who are doing what is supposed to be a fun, relaxing activity and who CAN'T GET AWAY FROM YOU. I guess he just wanted a captive audience and/or expected everyone to agree with him, which, as I said, pretty much everyone seemed to except for me and maybe the guide, who was the only other one that didn't join in that particular conversation.
I think he also tried to sell some of the women a cruise. So yeah, captive audience. At least I had a choice to stop reading...
BULLET, CHAPTER 32, PART TWO
"You've hidden the gold tigers since the first emperor of China; that's twenty-two hundred years. You've been planning this for that long?"
Jake says they've been hoping that long, Anita says that's a long time to hope. That was the point of what he just said? Jake says living forever without aging gives one the time to hope. Anita tells us she doesn't know what to say to that (because there's nothing to say, get on with the important stuff!) and asks "So, you're saying the tigers with you are gold, yellow, whatever."
YES. YES THAT IS WHAT HE HAS BEEN SAYING. OH MY GOD.
He nods and says "they are the purest of their line that we have been able to preserve" because that doesn't sound creepily like eugenics "There are some who are like your Domino, of more than one clan" I hope they don't have the same bogus angst over it that he did "We have found that the tiger survivors mated with the gold breed mostly true." Mated with. He sounds like he's talking about breeding animals. Yeah, this is creepy as fuck. And would be cool if it were meant to be creepy, if we were supposed to be revolted that HOLY FUCK THE HARLEQUIN TREATS HUMAN BEINGS LIKE LIVESTOCK TO BE BRED LIKE SHOW DOGS but the most acknowledgement of this horror we get is Anita saying that she's American so she doesn't care about pure blood since "we're a nation that's all about the melting pot."
Your reaction should not be "well, pure tiger bloodlines don't matter to me since I'm American" it should be "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN 'MATED WITH' AND 'PRESERVE' WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING TO THESE PEOPLE?" What's even creepier to me about all this is that since pure-as-possible golden weretigers are apparently the way to defeat Marmee Noir once and for all, this breeding-people-like-animals and choosing who does and doesn't get to (or have to) 'mate' with who was the RIGHT thing to do. Ugggh, shudderfest! Why would you choose that as a writer?
Jake says that pure blood is important to the tigers (yeah, because they were raised by sickos like you!) and Anita moves right on to the important matter of "So, I pick one, and do what?" Pick one. Again, it sounds like we're talking about a litter of puppies here. And Jake's answers...oh god: "Bond with them, Anita. Pet them, fuck them, mind-fuck them, whatever it is you do when you gain a tiger to call."
And then guess what Anita says?
Get ready
It's really terrible
Seriously, brace yourselves
Here it is
"I can also make them my Brides."
OH MY GOD WHY WOULD YOU OFFER THAT?! WHY WOULD YOU EVEN THINK OF THAT?!
Jake mentions that she's got a werelion she's already done that too (RATHER THAN ASKING HER WTF IS WRONG WITH HER) and she asks how he found that out, he says "Rumors that you've just confirmed" and that he's met other Brides before and they have a certain scent to them. Yeah, the scent of COMPLETE AND UTTER ENSLAVEMENT, INSIDE AND OUT. Jake says that he thinks a better move would just be making one of the tigers her Tiger to Call rather than her Bride. He doesn't say why. I assume he's tacitly trying to avoid her finding another excuse to Brideify them. Anita says "You left out my other lion" and he's like don't play games, we heard what happened to Haven and that "you need a new Rex and you haven't chosen a lion to call" WHY DOES SHE NEED A LION TO CALL, WHY DOES SHE NEED A PERSONAL ZOO
OK I GUESS NOW THAT MOAD IS BACK MAYBE THAT HELPS WITH THE 'NEED A GUY TO TOUCH' DEAL
BUT WHAT WAS THE REASON BEFORE?
Anita points out that obvious, that the Harlequin must have spies in their ranks (calling it now, I think Cardinal is going to turn out to be one) and he says not to feel special (that'll be the day!) because they have spies everywhere. Then why the fuck didn't they see this mess coming, eh? Stop whoever was bombing the MOAD?
Anita starts to pout, Jake reminds her that they have to stop the MOAD from turning the Council back into her puppets. Anita asks how they can fight something with no body...which, considering almost all battles are metaphysical now, isn't as good a question as it might otherwise have been. Jake says they have to be powerful to "cut her off from each body in turn" until she is left as nothing but a spirit which they believe will then fade. Anita points out they don't know if she'll fade, and while I do agree with this point, I must point out that, as with Bibi, she's not offering any alternatives herself. Then again, it really is just as important to point out flaws in plans as it is to come up with them, I guess, I'm probably just being harsh because it's her. Shockingly, that actually is something I try to avoid. I want to dislike the series because it's bad, not claim it's bad because I dislike it.
Anyway, Anita asks how to cut the MOAD off from her bodies. Jake says the same way she cut her off from Belle Morte. Wait, how did they even do that? Padma tried to stab her, then she took off and shook it later and I think I remember saying that Anita & Co were somehow responsible for that, but I don't think it was explicitly said how. Anita asks how he knows that since "No one in that room told you" (OH PLEASE LET IT TURN OUT SOMEONE SHE LUUUURVES WAS A SPY ALL ALONG!) and Jake says that Belle is the one who told him, that "she has turned to us to hide her." Anita stares, Jake asks her why she looks surprised, Anita says she doesn't know but that "we used the powers of Belle Morte's line to free her. We don't carry the power of everyone else."
WHAT
YES YOU DO
YOU KNOW YOU DO
Jake says she's lying, she says she's not, he reminds her that "you carry the power of every line that's attacked you. You collect vampire powers like butterflies." and cites her abilities from the Master of Beasts and the Dragon--oh, so the Dragon line feeding on anger is indeed canon, then. Good, that's what I thought. He says that his side wants JC to gain these powers too because "we need him to be powerful enough". Anita asks what for (UH, MAYBE FIGHTING THE MOAD AND HER MINIONS, YOU TWIT?) and Jake says "To head the council in America". Anita says he must have spies in every city (how does she reach that conclusion? he's only mentioned things that happened in St. Louis, in the walls of the Circus) and he says "the ones that are powerful enough to be helpful, yes."
Anita jumps back to the tigers fast enough to give me whiplash: "So I choose from the boys. Who's the girl tiger for?" MAYBE SHE'S NOT 'FOR' ANYONE. MAYBE SHE'S A PERSON, NOT A PARTY FAVOR. MAYBE THE GUYS ARE TOO, DAMMIT. Jake says that she doesn't have to pick a boy "but knowing your preferences, the girl is more for Jean-Claude." RRRGH THIS IS JUST LIKE WITH THE WERELION LADIES. THIS IS PIMPING OUT PEOPLE. THIS IS HUMAN TRAFFICKING. I DON'T CARE WHAT GREATER PURPOSE IT'S SUPPOSED TO SERVE. The least that could be done is acknowledging it. Seriously, if they did that, and debated seriously on whether pimping and eugenics is excusable in order to save the world, that would at least be somewhat interesting in that raises a difficult question. It would still suck in that it's a stupid, nonsensical solution that has no place in a paranormal thriller, but at least it would be something. But no, we can't even have that.
Anita asks what does that mean (WHAT DO YOU THINK 'FOR JEAN-CLAUDE' MEANS IN THIS CONTEXT, GENIUS?) and he says that "this works better if you like everyone in your circle of power. Your line of power is based on sex, lust, even love, so your liking everyone who sleeps over is a good thing. Maybe even a necessary thing for you." Firstly, that didn't answer her question, stupid though it was. Second, great, now Anita has an excuse to exile anyone she doesn't get along with and have it be a practical move rather than the petty one it really is. Thanks, Jake. Anita says "I just go in there and pick the cutest one? It's not like picking out kittens from a litter, Jake." Really? Because he calls them kittens, has been selectively breeding them like show animals, been talking about giving them to you like pets, and you've objected exactly zero times to any of that. I don't think he can be blamed for expecting you to view this as just that. Jake says that he thinks "you and Jean-Claude taking them all back to your room and seeing which ones you like best would be the surest way."
I can't believe I'm actually reading this. I can't believe this is actually part of any plot in any series. I can't believe this is the solution to an actual problem, let alone to the MOAD. Anita's apprehensions, however, are more along the lines of that she doesn't like the idea of propositioning sex from people she barely knows and also that she figures the weretigers are likely all too related to one another to be screwing. Jake assures her that he doesn't want them to screw each other, just "you, and Jean-Claude, and your men." Given just how many men she has, Anita says that "You're a little short on girls then." Hey, if this is just about power and not reproduction, who says the weretigers need to be girls in order to have sex with Anita's harem? As if she'd let girls near them anyway! Short on girls is just how she likes it, yo. Jake says that "We can get more if they make it here alive." More girls? Something tells me that Anita will ensure a tragic accident for these ladies en-route, or at least would very dearly like to.
Anita is like "So, someone is killing the clanless weretigers because they suspect what you've done", Jake points out the obvious that the killer is probably another Harlequin who doesn't know how weak the bloodline has gotten "so they're just killing every weretiger they find" in case one has gold has in its family tree. Anita says she hasn't heard anything about it, Jake says that's because they're only hitting the claness since they know the bloodlines of the clans (red and white) and also that they know about Cynric and thus presumably know he's not a gold. He then begs "Please, Anita, take Nathaniel to bed with them, or Micah, whoever you feel better about with this, but we need you to bond with a gold tiger, as soon as possible." You know, I don't think Anita needs to be begged in order to have a three-way with two guys and gain herself a new shiny big cat sex slave in the process.
Anita asks why this is so important, Jake says that "once you have all the colors under your control, you will gain an astronomical amount of power, and so will the tigers." Why though? No, really, how/why would that happen? What is the reason? Plus, there's never been anything like Anita before, so how can they be sure this would even happen? Anita says that's what Bibiana said (though of course she only listens now that a dude is saying it) and Jake goes on to say that "once you have a gold tiger to call your own, the others will not be able to resist you." Meaning they'll literally have their consent and free will taken away, I expect. Anita asks why Soledad and her master didn't rule the tigers then, he says because Soledad was just gold, not a five-color rainbow like super special Anita. Anita says she thought that being gold "automatically gave you all the other colors" (what, how did she get that) and he says no, that's not the case, Anita is just special of course. Anita asks what I just asked: How can he be sure that giving her a gold tiger will make all the other tigers hers too? He says "Because you already have a white and black."
I...what...how does that...huh? ANSWERS ARE NOT ANSWERS IN THIS SERIES.
Anita says she's not sure if they're her tigers to call or "closer to what Nicky is." How can you be unsure of that? It was very, very deliberate when she made Nicky her Bride, and he broke down in a traumatized wreck afterward at the very THOUGHT of being separated from here, whereas Crispin and Domino weren't bound to her quite as overtly by her choice and also were able to live apart from her for at least a year each just fine if I recall right. Maybe she's commenting on how they seem to have even less personality than the harem members added earlier in the game.
Jake says it doesn't matter either way, that she has power over them plus the blue tiger. Anita says that any sixteen year old would bond to a woman he had his first sex with. Jake says she's underestimating herself, I say she's trying to downplay just how much damage she did to that kid, even if the MOAD is the one who made her. he continues that either way she's still been able to call all the colors she's met, including red, and that "you were little queen enough to put out a countrywide call to all unmated males." Tigers don't have mates. They fuck and run. "You damn near caused a riot with our gold males. They were ready to get on a bus, or a plane, whatever it took, and come to you." So how come every 'unmated' male weretiger in the country isn't on her doorstep right now? No, wait, shit, that's not gonna happen, is it? "We had a hell of a time stopping them. Soledad's mistress couldn't call all the males, and neither could Soledad."
CALL ALL THE MALES
CALL ALL THE MALES IS A POWER
ANITA'S POWER IS 'CALL ALL THE MALES'
IS THIS SERIOUS RIGHT NOW
I AM LAUGHING SO MUCH
Also of course some icky other girl doesn't have that power, duh! Soledad was probably a blonde too, seeing as how the hair of the pure tigers corresponds to their fur colors.
Anita says that if she helps him with the tigers, he should help her lot with the assassins. Jake says that Rafael's rats are on it now and makes a comment about Richard "playing human". Anita says Richard likes that but he'll keep guards on him like a good Ulfric until the hit men are taken care of. Jake says it might not be taken care of till autumn (what season is it now..?) and Anita says that if it takes that long (two or three months, she says) then it will be fixed because "eventually one of us will be dead" by then. Yes, I think Anita dying would fix everything myself. Jake gushes over how calm and unafraid she sounds saying that. Jake, she's in a totally safe spot at this second, it's easy for her to sound calm. I would sound calm, and I am not someone with nerves of steel in the slightest.
He asks if she and JC "and whoever else you want" will take the gold tigers he's trying to pimp out. She says yes but of course only because she's fighting the MOAD and Council. He says he recalls her as being more argumentative last time he met her, she says maybe she's gotten tired of that. My bet is it's more because she's being offered sex toys versus whatever he was up to last time. He suggest that "maybe circumstances have worn you down" and while what he probably means is the aforementioned fighting against MOAD and Council, I'm going to interpret it as my version instead. Anita says that too, then asks why not include JC in this chat if the tigers are being offered to him too. Jake replies that "He's your master, Anita; if you wanted to include him you would" and reminds her that all she has to do is open up that little telepathic link and he can know everything that Jake just told her.
Anita says "Introduce me to your tigers" and he says "They aren't mine." Okay, I checked back through the rest of the chapter, he admittedly never calls them his, but given how they're otherwise being treated like objects he can sell and trade, it's actually MORE irritating to me that he's saying something like this instead of just acknowledging that, hey, he owns human beings. Anita, bizarrely, takes this statement not to mean that he doesn't want to be seen as a slave-owner but that he doesn't give a shit about the tigers and asks "You've known them since they were born. Don't you feel anything for them?" Since Anita thinks she loves her slaves, I guess this is in-character for her. He says that of course he does, and she asks how he can then "offer them up to us like they're not really people with their own free will?" I agree, but Anita being the one to say this just drips with irony. He says they were raised for this, she says he makes them sound like farm animals (you only just now noticed that, Anita?!) and he says he doesn't mean to but that the reason the tigers have been preserved and hidden for so long by the Harlequin wasn't out of kindness but for this purpose, because "we needed them so we could give them to you, and you could make them food."
Again, calling sex slaves 'food' just makes things...weird. Not erotic, and not any less objectifying.
Anita claims that her animals to call aren't food...even though doesn't she herself call them that regularly and use them for the explicit purpose of 'feeding' the ardeur on? Jake says that this is "pretty to think so" (another Anita-ism that is inexplicably used by everyone else AND is really annoying "but food is just energy that you eat, and they are the energy that feeds your and Jean-Claude's power base." Anita once again accuses him of thinking of the tigers like livestock. No, Anita, he's just pointing out the reality of how your bound 'sweeties' are exploited for your own gain and JC's. Jake, unlike Anita, is at least honest and says frankly that "We have married them, bred them, and watched over them like our special little flock of sheep for over a thousand years" and that they had to stay detached because there was no guarantee that the new Master of Tigers would be a kind person and that "if I loved them the way you love children" he wouldn't be able to hand them over to someone who wasn't...and, may I add, clearly he must be detached from them indeed to let Anita anywhere near them. Anita makes a remark about the big bad wolf watching the flock instead of the sheepdog.
Can I remind everyone how these sheep are actually one of the largest predators on land?
Jake says they call him Uncle Jake. Anita says that if she'd been "an honorable but cruel person" he'd still have given her the tigers. Yes, that's what he said, dumbass, and I think that's why he looks at her with "cold and pitiless" eyes as he says that yes, he would have. She calls him "Evil old Uncle Jake" which has distinctive creepy tones, especially in this kind of sex-obsessed series. He's like yup, she says "I couldn't be evil Aunt Anita." YOU COULD AND YOU ARE ALREADY. He asks if she couldn't even to stop the MOAD from spreading across the world like an evil plague, she says she doesn't know, he says she does and just doesn't like that her answer is the same as his.
Actually, I can totally see Anita letting the world go to nearly literal hell rather than giving a bunch of her tigers away to anyone, kind or cruel. She says that evil done in the name of good is still evil, which would probably carry more weight coming from someone who doesn't regularly do evil, cruel, petty things for her own selfish reasons that have nothing to do with the greater good. Jake than talks for a big fat paragraph about how lucky it is that Anita is such an innately good person who won't hurt his tigers so he can do his duty and not have it be evil but also that he doesn't lie to himself and he knows he'd still give the tigers to her even if she was evil and that's evil of him. Then he kisses her hand and thanks her.
And then he turns away but she sees the tears in his eyes and knows that he really does love them like children. Aw, look, he's a sweetie pie after all! Because we're not allowed to have morally gray characters in this series anymore. Okay, there's JC's plan to make himself head of the US Council, but that's it. Edward is now not only a family man but, as of Skin Trade, was shown to care about the lives of fallen officers too, so that pretty much wipes him out of the 'bad/gray person who just happens to help the hero' side, and Olaf isn't so much gray as 'we don't care that he's evil because he wants to bone Anita so everything is forgiven' and now we've got Jake who totally loves the weretigers like his kids. It's like LKH wants to make these complex dudes, but then she goes all fangirl over her own creations and has to give them the REALLY A GOOD GUY DEEP DOWN treatment versus just letting the reader have to wonder about it.
Now, in another work this would be a sign he's complex, which I think is what LKH is going for. But as I've said, we've all seen what happens when she tries to go that route--she ruins it despite herself, turning what should be a shades-of-gray character into a woobie fluffy fangirl interpretation of her own work. Not to mention it's added another layer of creepy to the fact they're being pimped out--now they're being pimped out by their foster father to boot! Also, if it turns out that sex with them really is the solution to beating the MOAD...then that means that someone (Bibi) told Anita immediately after the bad guy showed up how to defeat them, and then someone else (Jake) delivered the means to do so right to her literal doorstep. Add in to the fact that 'utilizing' them is NOT hard (well, not that way anyway) and how the fuck was this a challenge at all for anyone, least of all Anita?
About the only good thing I can say is that this is a sub-plot that actually ties into the main plot and moving it along in some way.
She behaved pretty well for me this time though! There was really just one problem spot where I couldn't get her off some trees (I am not afraid to give a horse a good kick, it's just that doesn't have much effect when the horse weighs around a ton!) but the guide helped. We passed by a deer that was nestled in the brush, and it didn't move even though it was less than ten feet from us. The guide said that it smelled the horses and not us and that's why it wasn't afraid. Despite it being a Georgia summer, it was pretty cool too since we were in the woods and thus shaded the whole time.
Only one thing was unfortunate, and that was the conversation. I admit, my ideal trail ride is one in total silence to just appreciate the woods and the horse, but I've never gotten that. People in a group are going to talk, that's just how it is. And I don't begrudge 'em that. What I most certainly do begrudge is where one guy decided to lead the conversation.
People in some parts of Georgia will ask "Where do you go to church?" upon meeting you because church is a really social thing, almost like a club for some folks/in some areas, but this guy straight-out asked one of the women in our group "Are you religious?" and even in the south that is a REALLY personal question. Definitely not one for a bunch of strangers on what should be a nice relaxing horse ride. She said she was, and they got to talking about it, and he basically used the conversation as a platform to very loudly broadcast his pretty fundamentalist and judgmental interpretation of Christianity, and, as if that wasn't uncomfortable enough, it seems no one else in the group was bothered, because they seemed to agree with him, at least everyone who spoke, and one turned out to be a nanny who was actively trying to convert her teenage charge, including taking him to church against his will. Needless to say, my ride got pretty nerve-wracking because I was terrified of any of them taking notice of me and asking MY opinion about anything, knowing then that, as an atheist lesbian, someone like me would probably be an object of hate and/or pity for them all, judging by the opinions being bandied about and praised. Luckily I was on the opposite end of the line and am a very quiet, easily-invisible sort, so no one talked to me at all about anything except the guide.
It's not that I think religion should never be discussed, but I do think it's rude to bring up a really divisive issue out of the blue in a group of strangers who are doing what is supposed to be a fun, relaxing activity and who CAN'T GET AWAY FROM YOU. I guess he just wanted a captive audience and/or expected everyone to agree with him, which, as I said, pretty much everyone seemed to except for me and maybe the guide, who was the only other one that didn't join in that particular conversation.
I think he also tried to sell some of the women a cruise. So yeah, captive audience. At least I had a choice to stop reading...
BULLET, CHAPTER 32, PART TWO
"You've hidden the gold tigers since the first emperor of China; that's twenty-two hundred years. You've been planning this for that long?"
Jake says they've been hoping that long, Anita says that's a long time to hope. That was the point of what he just said? Jake says living forever without aging gives one the time to hope. Anita tells us she doesn't know what to say to that (because there's nothing to say, get on with the important stuff!) and asks "So, you're saying the tigers with you are gold, yellow, whatever."
YES. YES THAT IS WHAT HE HAS BEEN SAYING. OH MY GOD.
He nods and says "they are the purest of their line that we have been able to preserve" because that doesn't sound creepily like eugenics "There are some who are like your Domino, of more than one clan" I hope they don't have the same bogus angst over it that he did "We have found that the tiger survivors mated with the gold breed mostly true." Mated with. He sounds like he's talking about breeding animals. Yeah, this is creepy as fuck. And would be cool if it were meant to be creepy, if we were supposed to be revolted that HOLY FUCK THE HARLEQUIN TREATS HUMAN BEINGS LIKE LIVESTOCK TO BE BRED LIKE SHOW DOGS but the most acknowledgement of this horror we get is Anita saying that she's American so she doesn't care about pure blood since "we're a nation that's all about the melting pot."
Your reaction should not be "well, pure tiger bloodlines don't matter to me since I'm American" it should be "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN 'MATED WITH' AND 'PRESERVE' WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING TO THESE PEOPLE?" What's even creepier to me about all this is that since pure-as-possible golden weretigers are apparently the way to defeat Marmee Noir once and for all, this breeding-people-like-animals and choosing who does and doesn't get to (or have to) 'mate' with who was the RIGHT thing to do. Ugggh, shudderfest! Why would you choose that as a writer?
Jake says that pure blood is important to the tigers (yeah, because they were raised by sickos like you!) and Anita moves right on to the important matter of "So, I pick one, and do what?" Pick one. Again, it sounds like we're talking about a litter of puppies here. And Jake's answers...oh god: "Bond with them, Anita. Pet them, fuck them, mind-fuck them, whatever it is you do when you gain a tiger to call."
And then guess what Anita says?
Get ready
It's really terrible
Seriously, brace yourselves
Here it is
"I can also make them my Brides."
OH MY GOD WHY WOULD YOU OFFER THAT?! WHY WOULD YOU EVEN THINK OF THAT?!
Jake mentions that she's got a werelion she's already done that too (RATHER THAN ASKING HER WTF IS WRONG WITH HER) and she asks how he found that out, he says "Rumors that you've just confirmed" and that he's met other Brides before and they have a certain scent to them. Yeah, the scent of COMPLETE AND UTTER ENSLAVEMENT, INSIDE AND OUT. Jake says that he thinks a better move would just be making one of the tigers her Tiger to Call rather than her Bride. He doesn't say why. I assume he's tacitly trying to avoid her finding another excuse to Brideify them. Anita says "You left out my other lion" and he's like don't play games, we heard what happened to Haven and that "you need a new Rex and you haven't chosen a lion to call" WHY DOES SHE NEED A LION TO CALL, WHY DOES SHE NEED A PERSONAL ZOO
OK I GUESS NOW THAT MOAD IS BACK MAYBE THAT HELPS WITH THE 'NEED A GUY TO TOUCH' DEAL
BUT WHAT WAS THE REASON BEFORE?
Anita points out that obvious, that the Harlequin must have spies in their ranks (calling it now, I think Cardinal is going to turn out to be one) and he says not to feel special (that'll be the day!) because they have spies everywhere. Then why the fuck didn't they see this mess coming, eh? Stop whoever was bombing the MOAD?
Anita starts to pout, Jake reminds her that they have to stop the MOAD from turning the Council back into her puppets. Anita asks how they can fight something with no body...which, considering almost all battles are metaphysical now, isn't as good a question as it might otherwise have been. Jake says they have to be powerful to "cut her off from each body in turn" until she is left as nothing but a spirit which they believe will then fade. Anita points out they don't know if she'll fade, and while I do agree with this point, I must point out that, as with Bibi, she's not offering any alternatives herself. Then again, it really is just as important to point out flaws in plans as it is to come up with them, I guess, I'm probably just being harsh because it's her. Shockingly, that actually is something I try to avoid. I want to dislike the series because it's bad, not claim it's bad because I dislike it.
Anyway, Anita asks how to cut the MOAD off from her bodies. Jake says the same way she cut her off from Belle Morte. Wait, how did they even do that? Padma tried to stab her, then she took off and shook it later and I think I remember saying that Anita & Co were somehow responsible for that, but I don't think it was explicitly said how. Anita asks how he knows that since "No one in that room told you" (OH PLEASE LET IT TURN OUT SOMEONE SHE LUUUURVES WAS A SPY ALL ALONG!) and Jake says that Belle is the one who told him, that "she has turned to us to hide her." Anita stares, Jake asks her why she looks surprised, Anita says she doesn't know but that "we used the powers of Belle Morte's line to free her. We don't carry the power of everyone else."
WHAT
YES YOU DO
YOU KNOW YOU DO
Jake says she's lying, she says she's not, he reminds her that "you carry the power of every line that's attacked you. You collect vampire powers like butterflies." and cites her abilities from the Master of Beasts and the Dragon--oh, so the Dragon line feeding on anger is indeed canon, then. Good, that's what I thought. He says that his side wants JC to gain these powers too because "we need him to be powerful enough". Anita asks what for (UH, MAYBE FIGHTING THE MOAD AND HER MINIONS, YOU TWIT?) and Jake says "To head the council in America". Anita says he must have spies in every city (how does she reach that conclusion? he's only mentioned things that happened in St. Louis, in the walls of the Circus) and he says "the ones that are powerful enough to be helpful, yes."
Anita jumps back to the tigers fast enough to give me whiplash: "So I choose from the boys. Who's the girl tiger for?" MAYBE SHE'S NOT 'FOR' ANYONE. MAYBE SHE'S A PERSON, NOT A PARTY FAVOR. MAYBE THE GUYS ARE TOO, DAMMIT. Jake says that she doesn't have to pick a boy "but knowing your preferences, the girl is more for Jean-Claude." RRRGH THIS IS JUST LIKE WITH THE WERELION LADIES. THIS IS PIMPING OUT PEOPLE. THIS IS HUMAN TRAFFICKING. I DON'T CARE WHAT GREATER PURPOSE IT'S SUPPOSED TO SERVE. The least that could be done is acknowledging it. Seriously, if they did that, and debated seriously on whether pimping and eugenics is excusable in order to save the world, that would at least be somewhat interesting in that raises a difficult question. It would still suck in that it's a stupid, nonsensical solution that has no place in a paranormal thriller, but at least it would be something. But no, we can't even have that.
Anita asks what does that mean (WHAT DO YOU THINK 'FOR JEAN-CLAUDE' MEANS IN THIS CONTEXT, GENIUS?) and he says that "this works better if you like everyone in your circle of power. Your line of power is based on sex, lust, even love, so your liking everyone who sleeps over is a good thing. Maybe even a necessary thing for you." Firstly, that didn't answer her question, stupid though it was. Second, great, now Anita has an excuse to exile anyone she doesn't get along with and have it be a practical move rather than the petty one it really is. Thanks, Jake. Anita says "I just go in there and pick the cutest one? It's not like picking out kittens from a litter, Jake." Really? Because he calls them kittens, has been selectively breeding them like show animals, been talking about giving them to you like pets, and you've objected exactly zero times to any of that. I don't think he can be blamed for expecting you to view this as just that. Jake says that he thinks "you and Jean-Claude taking them all back to your room and seeing which ones you like best would be the surest way."
I can't believe I'm actually reading this. I can't believe this is actually part of any plot in any series. I can't believe this is the solution to an actual problem, let alone to the MOAD. Anita's apprehensions, however, are more along the lines of that she doesn't like the idea of propositioning sex from people she barely knows and also that she figures the weretigers are likely all too related to one another to be screwing. Jake assures her that he doesn't want them to screw each other, just "you, and Jean-Claude, and your men." Given just how many men she has, Anita says that "You're a little short on girls then." Hey, if this is just about power and not reproduction, who says the weretigers need to be girls in order to have sex with Anita's harem? As if she'd let girls near them anyway! Short on girls is just how she likes it, yo. Jake says that "We can get more if they make it here alive." More girls? Something tells me that Anita will ensure a tragic accident for these ladies en-route, or at least would very dearly like to.
Anita is like "So, someone is killing the clanless weretigers because they suspect what you've done", Jake points out the obvious that the killer is probably another Harlequin who doesn't know how weak the bloodline has gotten "so they're just killing every weretiger they find" in case one has gold has in its family tree. Anita says she hasn't heard anything about it, Jake says that's because they're only hitting the claness since they know the bloodlines of the clans (red and white) and also that they know about Cynric and thus presumably know he's not a gold. He then begs "Please, Anita, take Nathaniel to bed with them, or Micah, whoever you feel better about with this, but we need you to bond with a gold tiger, as soon as possible." You know, I don't think Anita needs to be begged in order to have a three-way with two guys and gain herself a new shiny big cat sex slave in the process.
Anita asks why this is so important, Jake says that "once you have all the colors under your control, you will gain an astronomical amount of power, and so will the tigers." Why though? No, really, how/why would that happen? What is the reason? Plus, there's never been anything like Anita before, so how can they be sure this would even happen? Anita says that's what Bibiana said (though of course she only listens now that a dude is saying it) and Jake goes on to say that "once you have a gold tiger to call your own, the others will not be able to resist you." Meaning they'll literally have their consent and free will taken away, I expect. Anita asks why Soledad and her master didn't rule the tigers then, he says because Soledad was just gold, not a five-color rainbow like super special Anita. Anita says she thought that being gold "automatically gave you all the other colors" (what, how did she get that) and he says no, that's not the case, Anita is just special of course. Anita asks what I just asked: How can he be sure that giving her a gold tiger will make all the other tigers hers too? He says "Because you already have a white and black."
I...what...how does that...huh? ANSWERS ARE NOT ANSWERS IN THIS SERIES.
Anita says she's not sure if they're her tigers to call or "closer to what Nicky is." How can you be unsure of that? It was very, very deliberate when she made Nicky her Bride, and he broke down in a traumatized wreck afterward at the very THOUGHT of being separated from here, whereas Crispin and Domino weren't bound to her quite as overtly by her choice and also were able to live apart from her for at least a year each just fine if I recall right. Maybe she's commenting on how they seem to have even less personality than the harem members added earlier in the game.
Jake says it doesn't matter either way, that she has power over them plus the blue tiger. Anita says that any sixteen year old would bond to a woman he had his first sex with. Jake says she's underestimating herself, I say she's trying to downplay just how much damage she did to that kid, even if the MOAD is the one who made her. he continues that either way she's still been able to call all the colors she's met, including red, and that "you were little queen enough to put out a countrywide call to all unmated males." Tigers don't have mates. They fuck and run. "You damn near caused a riot with our gold males. They were ready to get on a bus, or a plane, whatever it took, and come to you." So how come every 'unmated' male weretiger in the country isn't on her doorstep right now? No, wait, shit, that's not gonna happen, is it? "We had a hell of a time stopping them. Soledad's mistress couldn't call all the males, and neither could Soledad."
CALL ALL THE MALES
CALL ALL THE MALES IS A POWER
ANITA'S POWER IS 'CALL ALL THE MALES'
IS THIS SERIOUS RIGHT NOW
I AM LAUGHING SO MUCH
Also of course some icky other girl doesn't have that power, duh! Soledad was probably a blonde too, seeing as how the hair of the pure tigers corresponds to their fur colors.
Anita says that if she helps him with the tigers, he should help her lot with the assassins. Jake says that Rafael's rats are on it now and makes a comment about Richard "playing human". Anita says Richard likes that but he'll keep guards on him like a good Ulfric until the hit men are taken care of. Jake says it might not be taken care of till autumn (what season is it now..?) and Anita says that if it takes that long (two or three months, she says) then it will be fixed because "eventually one of us will be dead" by then. Yes, I think Anita dying would fix everything myself. Jake gushes over how calm and unafraid she sounds saying that. Jake, she's in a totally safe spot at this second, it's easy for her to sound calm. I would sound calm, and I am not someone with nerves of steel in the slightest.
He asks if she and JC "and whoever else you want" will take the gold tigers he's trying to pimp out. She says yes but of course only because she's fighting the MOAD and Council. He says he recalls her as being more argumentative last time he met her, she says maybe she's gotten tired of that. My bet is it's more because she's being offered sex toys versus whatever he was up to last time. He suggest that "maybe circumstances have worn you down" and while what he probably means is the aforementioned fighting against MOAD and Council, I'm going to interpret it as my version instead. Anita says that too, then asks why not include JC in this chat if the tigers are being offered to him too. Jake replies that "He's your master, Anita; if you wanted to include him you would" and reminds her that all she has to do is open up that little telepathic link and he can know everything that Jake just told her.
Anita says "Introduce me to your tigers" and he says "They aren't mine." Okay, I checked back through the rest of the chapter, he admittedly never calls them his, but given how they're otherwise being treated like objects he can sell and trade, it's actually MORE irritating to me that he's saying something like this instead of just acknowledging that, hey, he owns human beings. Anita, bizarrely, takes this statement not to mean that he doesn't want to be seen as a slave-owner but that he doesn't give a shit about the tigers and asks "You've known them since they were born. Don't you feel anything for them?" Since Anita thinks she loves her slaves, I guess this is in-character for her. He says that of course he does, and she asks how he can then "offer them up to us like they're not really people with their own free will?" I agree, but Anita being the one to say this just drips with irony. He says they were raised for this, she says he makes them sound like farm animals (you only just now noticed that, Anita?!) and he says he doesn't mean to but that the reason the tigers have been preserved and hidden for so long by the Harlequin wasn't out of kindness but for this purpose, because "we needed them so we could give them to you, and you could make them food."
Again, calling sex slaves 'food' just makes things...weird. Not erotic, and not any less objectifying.
Anita claims that her animals to call aren't food...even though doesn't she herself call them that regularly and use them for the explicit purpose of 'feeding' the ardeur on? Jake says that this is "pretty to think so" (another Anita-ism that is inexplicably used by everyone else AND is really annoying "but food is just energy that you eat, and they are the energy that feeds your and Jean-Claude's power base." Anita once again accuses him of thinking of the tigers like livestock. No, Anita, he's just pointing out the reality of how your bound 'sweeties' are exploited for your own gain and JC's. Jake, unlike Anita, is at least honest and says frankly that "We have married them, bred them, and watched over them like our special little flock of sheep for over a thousand years" and that they had to stay detached because there was no guarantee that the new Master of Tigers would be a kind person and that "if I loved them the way you love children" he wouldn't be able to hand them over to someone who wasn't...and, may I add, clearly he must be detached from them indeed to let Anita anywhere near them. Anita makes a remark about the big bad wolf watching the flock instead of the sheepdog.
Can I remind everyone how these sheep are actually one of the largest predators on land?
Jake says they call him Uncle Jake. Anita says that if she'd been "an honorable but cruel person" he'd still have given her the tigers. Yes, that's what he said, dumbass, and I think that's why he looks at her with "cold and pitiless" eyes as he says that yes, he would have. She calls him "Evil old Uncle Jake" which has distinctive creepy tones, especially in this kind of sex-obsessed series. He's like yup, she says "I couldn't be evil Aunt Anita." YOU COULD AND YOU ARE ALREADY. He asks if she couldn't even to stop the MOAD from spreading across the world like an evil plague, she says she doesn't know, he says she does and just doesn't like that her answer is the same as his.
Actually, I can totally see Anita letting the world go to nearly literal hell rather than giving a bunch of her tigers away to anyone, kind or cruel. She says that evil done in the name of good is still evil, which would probably carry more weight coming from someone who doesn't regularly do evil, cruel, petty things for her own selfish reasons that have nothing to do with the greater good. Jake than talks for a big fat paragraph about how lucky it is that Anita is such an innately good person who won't hurt his tigers so he can do his duty and not have it be evil but also that he doesn't lie to himself and he knows he'd still give the tigers to her even if she was evil and that's evil of him. Then he kisses her hand and thanks her.
And then he turns away but she sees the tears in his eyes and knows that he really does love them like children. Aw, look, he's a sweetie pie after all! Because we're not allowed to have morally gray characters in this series anymore. Okay, there's JC's plan to make himself head of the US Council, but that's it. Edward is now not only a family man but, as of Skin Trade, was shown to care about the lives of fallen officers too, so that pretty much wipes him out of the 'bad/gray person who just happens to help the hero' side, and Olaf isn't so much gray as 'we don't care that he's evil because he wants to bone Anita so everything is forgiven' and now we've got Jake who totally loves the weretigers like his kids. It's like LKH wants to make these complex dudes, but then she goes all fangirl over her own creations and has to give them the REALLY A GOOD GUY DEEP DOWN treatment versus just letting the reader have to wonder about it.
Now, in another work this would be a sign he's complex, which I think is what LKH is going for. But as I've said, we've all seen what happens when she tries to go that route--she ruins it despite herself, turning what should be a shades-of-gray character into a woobie fluffy fangirl interpretation of her own work. Not to mention it's added another layer of creepy to the fact they're being pimped out--now they're being pimped out by their foster father to boot! Also, if it turns out that sex with them really is the solution to beating the MOAD...then that means that someone (Bibi) told Anita immediately after the bad guy showed up how to defeat them, and then someone else (Jake) delivered the means to do so right to her literal doorstep. Add in to the fact that 'utilizing' them is NOT hard (well, not that way anyway) and how the fuck was this a challenge at all for anyone, least of all Anita?
About the only good thing I can say is that this is a sub-plot that actually ties into the main plot and moving it along in some way.