BULLET, CHAPTERS 36 & 37

[a_sporking_rat]

Okay, I don't know about you, but I need a *lot* of cuteness for this one.
http://tinypawpets.tumblr.com/day/2013/06/03/
http://many-splendored-rat.tumblr.com/post/52060687655/batmanandrobin67-yes-im-a-rat-yes-i-play
http://many-splendored-rat.tumblr.com/post/51994416873
http://many-splendored-rat.tumblr.com/post/52008581702
http://www.zooborns.com/zooborns/dik-dik/
http://www.anothermag.com/current/view/1387/Audrey_Hepburn_and_her_Fawn
http://morethanprinceofcats.tumblr.com/post/51980218398

I want a pet baby deer/dik dik :C

BULLET, CHAPTERS 36 & 37

You know what happens in these chapters? Nothing. Really, nothing. Like literally zero happens to advance the plot or subplots or to develop the characters in any way or worldbuild or just...anything. Out of all the similar chapters and scenes so far in this book, this one baffles me the most as to why the hell it exists.

"One of the larger caverns had been turned into a gym, complete with an indoor track" and there is even a locker area where Anita changes. She of course does not say she changes into "work-out clothes" though. No, she describes each item of clothing, right down to the color of the sports bra...which, by the way, is all she's wearing to cover her chest. Now, I too prefer to go without a shirt and just wear my sports bra when I work out, but that's because the shirt doesn't help with the sweatiness. In the case of Anita, however, I think LKH wasn't so much thinking about that as the fact that she ends up being joined by a bunch of guys soon enough.

Nicky and Fredo also get their workout clothing described, with Nicky's T-shirt "straining to hold all his muscles into one tight packet." If your clothing is like a sausage skin and wasn't designed to be that way (like lycra or spandex) then I don't think it's gonna be comfy to work out in, no matter how sexy it supposedly looks. She mentions that they've put all their guns in their lockers, not because I reckon working out while wearing a holster would chafe like hell but because "if anyone tried to take me here with all the guards, my money was on us, armed or unarmed." All the guards? But it's just you and Nicky and Nathaniel and Fredo and--oh wait, here they come! "The guards spilled out of the hallway" WHY DO YOU LOVE THAT WORD SO MUCH "full of that energy that big athletic men have. Some women mistake it for aggression, but it's not."

Some women. Can anyone else just hear the same sneering tone in her voice that I can? And you know what, Anita, women actually have good reason to be cautious around guys that are especially strong and large. You talk all the damn time about how haaaard it is being a petite woman, shouldn't you know that? Oh wait, shit never happens to you because you're not a "victim" like us weakling Other Women. Also, most women are actually pretty good at reading when a guy just has "boisterous male energy" versus when he is actually being aggressive and threatening. We develop this sense because, again, we have to as a matter of protecting ourselves. Because not all of us are these super-powered he-women who can be tiny yet have super-strength and be perfect at martial arts and carry small armories everywhere.

Lisandro is among them and Anita isn't sure what to say to him after "we'd broken his prohibition on sex" by which you mean you were mutually raped by the ardeur "so I would ignore it if he'd let me." Gregory and Stephen are there and she describes their cornflower-blue eyes and their "long blond curls in ponytails" and their beautiful "girl-delicate" faces and how she knows from photos they look like their mom and how "she'd died when they were little, like mine." IT IS ALWAYS ABOUT ANITA SOMEHOW. IT ALWAYS GOES BACK TO HER. She can't even describe what these guys look like without bringing in how BAW MY MOTHER DIED WHEN I WAS LITTLE DID YOU KNOW THAT? Seriously, she's known these guys for years, and that's the first thing that pops into her head?

Gregory pouts about missing the orgy, Anita tells him not to start, he opens his mouth to do just that, Nathaniel tells him "No, really, not today" and "Gregory gave in, which wasn't his usual." I can't remember if Gregory has shown any personality before now, or if this is just another telling-instead-of-showing thing.

We get some needless description of the guards. There's someone named Clay, an ex-cop werehyena named Socrates "with skin the color of coffee with a touch of cream" and hair that looks "almost long compared to Ares' and Bram's military buzz" and rats that are, naturally, all Hispanic, since every rat who isn't Bobby Lee or a woman seems to be. There's the five-foot-eight Emmanuel, who has blue-grey eyes and skin that is "almost a gold color, so that he had the same kind of exotic vibe going that Vivian, Stephen's fiancee, had." Lest we forget somehow who the fuck Vivian is despite the fact she showed up earlier and her relationship with Stephen was discussed. Come to think of it, is anything gonna happen with that plot? "The fact that Stephen was still here and hadn't gone home wasn't a good sign for them." Maybe, unlike you, Vivian is okay with Stephen having a life and going to the gym instead of being tethered to her like a satellite, Anita.

Back to the rats, there's Dino, "as dark as Emmanuel was light" and "big, almost as wide as he was tall" and he's six feet tall so that's indeed pretty big. He runs like a "lumbering elephant" and once he punched a brand new punching bag and made it explode despite it being designed to withstand supernatural strength. Cool. I bet he makes such an adorable huge ratty! And then there's...God. Which is short for Godofredo, and since he's Fredo's nephew makes Anita understandably think that maybe they have the same name, but apparently whenever someone asks Fredo that they get a "flat look" that makes them "drop the subject." They're related? But rat isn't one of the inheritable strains. Maybe one infected the other, and that's why the defensive look, they don't want it brought up? Or they got infected in the same attack? In any case, God is a really strange, really awkward nickname. Why not Godo? It's just a one letter difference but it sounds a lot better. Oh, and so we know Fredo is "slender, not that tall, and honed down to lanky muscle" his nephew is taller, broader, and packs big bulky muscle.

You know what? No one is going to remember these descriptions. You know why? These characters aren't memorable or important. There's no reason for us to keep this in our heads. They don't matter to the story, so they don't matter to the reader. It's all just wasted, wasted words and pointless padding. The only bit that comes out of this worth anything is Anita at last noticing how all their guards are rats and hyenas save for Bram the leopard. "Did we depend too much on the rats and the hyenas? Yes. Should we change it? Probably." But then she decides that's a problem for another day.

I've already said that I think the rats and swans should rise up against Anita & Co for how she raped them en masse through their leaders. Now I think the hyenas definitely should too. Like the rats and swans, they have reason--they're treated as grunts, to guard the 'more important' people, none of whom includes a representative of their people--and with their numbers plus the numbers of the rats and the fact that all three groups already have an 'in' into the power base and basically seem to run the whole damn thing (computers, weapons, etc.) it'd be too easy. I am choosing to believe that they already have this planned. Donovan and Rafael, disgusted with Anita and what she's done to their people, approached Narcissus and said he wanted in on it. Narcissus agreed because of how Anita killed his lover Chimera, hogs Asher to herself but treats him like shit, and gives no benefits to his people that I know of but exploits them for her own. His offer to Asher wasn't actually just to move out, it was to take over. And Asher is STILL GOING TO DO IT! Because he gave his word, after all, that he wouldn't move away if he got that orgy...and it was easy to give that word since it wasn't ever the plan at all, he was just using that to get laid one last time before bringing down JC and his pet necromancer and their whole rotten web of rape and control.

I don't think it's being egotistical of me to say that this idea alone is better than this entire novel. Hell, it's not even much a compliment to myself.

We get the interesting info that exercising can help control your beast because it wears out the energy (no, it's not any more clear than that), God teases Fredo by calling him an old man, Fredo taunts him back, and Anita educates us on how "guy liking" involves "a lot of cussing and good-natured jibes". Wow Anita, you sure are hip to mysteries never before discovered by any of womankind till you. She stretches, and everyone around her gets up when she does and she wonders "if they did it consciously or if there was some metaphysical reason for it" and does not seem to realize how freaky either option is.

Ares asks doubtfully if she's running with them, she says she's using that track at the same time (so, yes) and he tells her she can't keep up while giving her "that guy smile, the one I'd gotten most of my life because I was small and usually the only girl." Oh god, not this again. What's really ironic is because I could actually see this happening in this setting. In a gym where everyone else is a large, trained-in-some-way, supernaturally strong man, some are probably going to think a small-looking woman won't be able to keep pace with them. But at this point, Anita has bemoaned I AM A GIRL so much that I have no patience for it even in this scenario where it's actually plausible. Plus it's literally there just so she can prove him wrong and show them all up. Spoiler time: Anita outdoes everyone else at everything in this gym scene. No, there is no other point to it than that. Anyone surprised?

She points out she's not human, he says that most of them have a longer stride than she does, she says she's not trying to race. This will be proved as a lie, by the way. She gets angry, of course and "it hit that place where the beast lived" and she has to take deep breaths. Ares says he didn't mean anything by it and apologizes. Ares, you know what, I don't even think it was about her being a girl. I think you knew that this little asshole was going to take your very existence as a guy in the gym as a personal challenge and you were trying to tell her not to bother making the point of how she's Not Like Other Wimpy Girls by beating you when she should be conserving her strength for battle with the MOAD and her cohorts and those hit men. But Anita's anger issues and her control over her inner zoo are just so bad that she flared up before you were able to get all that out. That's what I think.

The next three pages is all about Anita running with Nathaniel, Gregory, and Stephen and how they kick everyone else's asses at it. And she definitely did it on purpose, since she commanded them to "Kick it!" and "we ran faster than I'd ever tried to before". So basically she went out of her way to do this after assuring Ares she didn't want to race. When Ares tells her it's "not bad" she then proceeds to tease Ares about it by telling the other guards in front of him how "Ares is just mad that he's fast out of the gate but doesn't have the stamina to keep up" and of course all the men "made appreciative noises at the comment" because Anita is so hilarious and awesome and Ares starts to get mad but then he laughs and says he deserved it because of course he did, Anita is never wrong!

God this chapter is irritating.

Anita wants to hit the punching bag now. Ares is surprised that she's going to do this after a run like that, and Anita teases him again about a lack of stamina. Ares says that if she can do it, so can he. Lisandro asks if Ares has ever seen Anita work the heavy bag, Ares says no, Lisandro asks if he's going to try to keep up with Anita, Ares says yes, Lisandro says they're going to take bets. Anita says that the fact it's Lisandro who says this and not any of the other guys proves that "Ares had been snotty with more than just me. It wasn't just me being a girl and small, it was him." Only one person has been snotty so far and it wasn't Ares.

Anita asks how they'll score it, Lisandro says since stamina is the issue then the loser is the one who quits first. Ares says Lisandro has never seen him hitting the bag, and Lisandro says he's seen Anita though. Ares has not yet gotten the message that Anita is the best in the universe at everything ever, says that Anita being able to run doesn't mean that she can hit. "If you think you can outlast our negra gatita, put your money where your mouth is." Ares asks what the Spanish means, Anita says black kitten, Ares asks if she's okay with the wererats calling her that, she says "They're wererats, Ares" and he gives her a puzzled look and she adds "They're not calling me their little black rat. Think it through." and the chapter ends as she goes to gloves and wrist tape.

Damn straight they're not calling you a rat, Anita. You are not worthy at all to be a rat. You are being called a cat because cats are the PREDATORS of rats, and you preyed on all the wererats through Rafael like the rapist you are. They are calling you this because it SOUNDS like a cool nickname to you, but it's actually the only way they can get away with expressing what they really think of you. That's how I see it.

Also, I have no clue why the chapter ended there, considering that the next chapter is just three and a half pages. It's their little contest. If you were wondering, it's all about Anita winning it, with three paragraphs about why he hits the bag wrong and she does it right. Anita overkills even more with the bag then she did with running, going with her hands and legs so bad that "the world started graying out, my vision going in white starbursts" and once she realizes she's won "I let myself slide down" and tries to stop herself from passing out. Nathaniel asks her if she's okay, and she says fine instead of asking for water like she's just told us that she needs. Nathaniel also assures her that "No one would think less of you" if he helps her up, and she protests that "I would."

Anita, you have problems. So she stays on the floor while Fredo tells her that obviously she can't practice knife-fighting with him today now. Yeah, and you've also worn yourself out to nearly unconsciousness for no real reason other than wanting to be a show-off, and this is a time when, may I remind you, she has the most powerful vampires on the planet after her ass PLUS hit men! And she's supposed to be having sex with weretigers to help solve that stuff! She can't fight or screw like this! Goddamn it, why is she so STUPID? And why does this scene exist? Why did LKH write this?

All for this, that's why:

Lisandro: See, negra gatita.
Ares: I get it. Cats eat rats, and you're calling her a cat. (HOW DOES IT TAKE ANYONE THAT LONG TO GET THAT)
Lisandro: We're calling her our cat.

Meanwhile our black cat crawls to the wall and leans against it "while I waited for my vision to clear and fought not to throw up. People with nifty nicknames like negra gatita didn't puke from exhaustion and dehydration, or we tried not to."

That last sentence is something that actually might have endeared me to her, but the fact that she not only put herself in that position just to show up everyone and it's not being treated as stupid and egotistical on her part, and she did it at the worst possible time, just makes me hope she DIES from this. I have zero sympathy for someone like this (and that's excluding everything else terrible about her) and a main character we're supposed to like and root for should really only ever be this kind of person in the beginning of a story where they're obviously in the wrong according to the narrative and develop into an entirely different person in the end...forgive me for doubting that's the case here.

Comments

[watersheerie.livejournal.com]

I absolutely loathed these chapters. People are dying and Anita goes to the gym. These pages are so completely useless that it pained me to read them, and I'm sorry that you had to read this.

with skin the color of coffee with a touch of cream

I'm beginning to think that the only 'black' people Anita is comfortable being around are the light-skinned/almost white. I'm also thinking that LKH seems to think that black skin comes in only two tones; Wesley Snipes black and coffee-cream black, I rarely see her describe brown skin tones in other shades.

and rats that are, naturally, all Hispanic, since every rat who isn't Bobby Lee or a woman seems to be

I don't understand this, and it kinda makes me uncomfortable. Lycanthropy spreads through bites in Anita's world, there are very few strains that spread through birth (swans, tigers). Were-rats bite humans and create were-rats...so are they only biting Hispanics? Or does Rafael only allow Hispanic were-rats into the city? Notice we don't really see Hispanics as other weres (wolves, leopards). Just the rats...and I'm pretty sure that LKH/Anita do not regard the rats as being 'sexy' were-animals, and then LKH writes them all as Hispanics. The one were-group that is not sexy and hot enough for Anita to bang is made up of predominately, if not all, Hispanics.

Also, as a gym-rat, /fit/zen, I can tell you that I was completely unimpressed with Anita's gym routine (DYEL bro). Just runs really fast (not an actual cardio routine, just her running fast in some sort of ego-race, gonna lose her gains), punches the bag for a while and then she's done.

Oh, but I forgot, all of Anita's super-strength and speed comes from the metaphysical/magical/bullshit inside her. She doesn't have to work to get strong and fast, instead magic gifts her with all these wondrous abilities. I suppose that's what is so shitty about these chapters, we're reading about a woman showing off her super-speed and super-strength that were gifted to her through metaphysical mumbo-jumbo. These are not abilities she worked for, she did not exercise at a gym every day to get that way. It's all magic, these chapters are about a woman showing off magical gifts at a gym and acting like it's something she works hard for. It's like if a billionaire paid money to an artist to paint wonderful and spectacular pictures, than put on an art show and claimed that he had done the paintings himself.

[colliemommie.livejournal.com]

I remember back when Anita had a bad knee...

[a-sporking-rat.livejournal.com]

I absolutely loathed these chapters. People are dying and Anita goes to the gym. These pages are so completely useless that it pained me to read them, and I'm sorry that you had to read this.
Yup. Even with all the other horrible stuff going on morality-wise, these chapters actually pissed me off the most just in terms of bad writing because they were SO BANAL AND USELESS UGH.

I'm also thinking that LKH seems to think that black skin comes in only two tones; Wesley Snipes black and coffee-cream black, I rarely see her describe brown skin tones in other shades.
You know, you're right, she doesn't!

I don't understand this, and it kinda makes me uncomfortable
It should. Because in addition to the reasons you list, there are also a lot of ways in which negative perceptions of rats and negative perceptions of Hispanic people line up. Firstly, notice the wererats are very much a gang-like group, outright stated to be criminals, something associated with Hispanic men, especially young Hispanic men in particular. Rats are prolific breeders; Hispanic people are frequently accused of having "too many" children. Rats are associated with dirty and impoverished areas and homes, as are racial minorities including Hispanic people. Rats are considered thieving scavengers that take food from human homes, Hispanic people are often seen by bigots as welfare parasites. Rats are seen as invaders to the home, Hispanic people as invaders to the USA.

Whether LKH did this on purpose or not, it winds up very uncomfy indeed. Especially when, as you point out, we don't see Hispanic members of other weregroups, and wererats, in addition to spreading through bite, are supposed to be the most common strain/easiest to catch. So there should be the greatest variety of people in the Rodere. Weirder still, Hispanics only make up 3.5% of the St. Louis population. So why is the most common wereanimal made up almost entirely of Hispanic men? And just also happens to be the 'icky' animal *and* the group associated most with crime?

[watersheerie.livejournal.com]

Firstly, notice the wererats are very much a gang-like group, outright stated to be criminals, something associated with Hispanic men, especially young Hispanic men in particular. Rats are prolific breeders; Hispanic people are frequently accused of having "too many" children. Rats are associated with dirty and impoverished areas and homes, as are racial minorities including Hispanic people. Rats are considered thieving scavengers that take food from human homes, Hispanic people are often seen by bigots as welfare parasites. Rats are seen as invaders to the home, Hispanic people as invaders to the USA.

::sigh::

I didn't even notice that at first, but now that you point it out, it just makes the whole thing so much worse. I'm just cannot fathom how LKH can be oblivious to the horribly destructive and negative messages she writes in these books.

That's it, I'm done. Either LKH is really a lot more racist than she'd like to admit (homophobic and misogynist too), or she is the dumbest person on the planet. You cannot write this shit and not see this; unless you are stupid or you really, truly believe something like that.

Makes me glad that I sold the few LKH books I had to the used bookstore downtown. Never giving another penny to that monstrous woman.

[a-sporking-rat.livejournal.com]

Here's another one: Narcissus is a crossdressing gay man who has not only raped other men (Jean-Claude) in the past...he is also stated to deliberately infect/recruit other men actively into being werehyenas, not just find people who were infected accidentally like the other weregroups do.

Therianthropy is repeatedly likened to AIDS/HIV in this series.

You do the math.

[watersheerie.livejournal.com]

Oh...God...

I don't think I could restrain myself if I ever met LKH in real life.

[a-sporking-rat.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's why I treat Narcissus with waaay more fondness than I do the various other rapists in the series---because it's pretty obvious he's only portrayed that way because of his sexuality and gender. Thus I choose to ignore that canon because IT ONLY EXISTS FOR HOMOPHOBIC AS F*CK REASONS. Same as I tend to ignore the portrayal of other women as bitches and skanks, any man who dislikes Anita as being a sexist, etc.

My headcanon is that he didn't even rape JC at all either. We only 'know' he did it because JC convieniantly shared/leaked the memory of it to Anita and Richard right at the moment when they were storming Narci's place and JC wanted to get out of having sex with him to make up for it. JC and Narci are both into srs bsns BDSM, Narci is both top and bottom...I think JC actually just deliberately shared a memory of an actually-totally-consensual scene they did together, with the intent purpose of Anita and Richrad reading it as rape and reacting like they did. I hate to play the 'lying rape victim seeking sympathy/manipulation' thing but IT'S JEAN CLAUDE MAN, HE WOULD SO DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT!

[watersheerie.livejournal.com]

That sounds infinitely better than any of the tripe LKH is writing. And it does fit, JC is the master manipulator, and I got the feeling that Narci was a lot smarter than Anita was willing to see.

I could totally see them using the were-hyenas as a ploy. A group of only hot men that Anita will never suspect of trying to play her, because they are all men. She'll be too distracted by the sexiness. Then they become Asher's animal to call, which helps with their cover.

I always thought that Narci was a cool character when he/she was introduced, but seeing how LKH basically threw that character under the bus just pissed me off. I don't understand why LKH continuously ignores the more interesting aspects and characters of her books. She wrote a trans were-hyena who has to be the most 'female' in order to be in charge; that's something that's cool, progressive and fits in with hyena biology. Why aren't there more books about Narci and the were-hyenas? Hyenas are pretty awesome creatures (totally thinking of the Emperor Mage now).

[a-sporking-rat.livejournal.com]

In agreement with all of the above!

[collectively.livejournal.com]

Gregory and Stephen are there and she describes their cornflower-blue eyes and their "long blond curls in ponytails" and their beautiful "girl-delicate" faces and how she knows from photos they look like their mom and how "she'd died when they were little, like mine." IT IS ALWAYS ABOUT ANITA SOMEHOW. IT ALWAYS GOES BACK TO HER. She can't even describe what these guys look like without bringing in how BAW MY MOTHER DIED WHEN I WAS LITTLE DID YOU KNOW THAT? Seriously, she's known these guys for years, and that's the first thing that pops into her head?

You know, with most other people? I would likely give them a pass on that, perhaps even going so far as to assume that it's something she thinks of quickly when she sees them because she feels compassion for them, knowing how hard it is to lose your mother when you're young. But...it's Anita, so yeah, I think you hit the nail on the head with your assessment.

I don't think it's being egotistical of me to say that this idea alone is better than this entire novel. Hell, it's not even much a compliment to myself.

Yeah, when I got up this morning I thought, "I'll eat some breakfast" and I think THAT was a better idea than this whole novel. At least in my idea, no one got raped!

(Seriously though, I like your idea much more. HOW CAN SHE THINK THAT ANY OF THESE LATER BOOKS HAVE A PLOT, much less character development?! Hell, I'd even take character consistency. You know what? I'd take a character - one BESIDES the usual: Anita, evil blonde woman who doesn't like Anita, good woman who isn't a threat to Anita, guy who falls all over himself to please Anita, guy who is evil but also thinks Anita is so so hot and the most powerful evar.)

Anita educates us on how "guy liking" involves "a lot of cussing and good-natured jibes"

Which is, of course, exclusively the provenance of guys! I (a cis female) never ever do that, much less with my female friends! Well, except for how we do it all the time, and it's actually a sign that I'm really comfortable with someone if I can tease them. I MUST SECRETLY BE MALE! I had no idea.

[a-sporking-rat.livejournal.com]

You know what? I'd take a character - one BESIDES the usual: Anita, evil blonde woman who doesn't like Anita, good woman who isn't a threat to Anita, guy who falls all over himself to please Anita, guy who is evil but also thinks Anita is so so hot and the most powerful evar

I feel like she sort of tried for that with Claudia, Rosamond, Kelly, and (later) Envy...but failed because they never show up again. My guess is her heart wasn't in it and she just wanted to throw a bone to us critics so we'd shut up about it.

[watersheerie.livejournal.com]

how did he wind up with a name like Socrates?

It's pretty weird. I mean, I'm guessing that his parents were really into Socrates, but that would mean that they would know about the more...unsavory side of Socrates...that doesn't exactly lend well to a child's name.

At any rate, LKH has a fondness for giving ridiculous, pornstar'esque names to her characters. I'm sure she thinks it clever, but it just emphasizes the whole fanfiction feel of the story. I'm waiting for Evony Darkness Raven Dementia's Way to show up.

[subtle-shades.livejournal.com]

I have to ask.... what unsavory side?

And I would love the porn star names... if they were meant as a joke. ^_^

[watersheerie.livejournal.com]

Socrates was known to have had at least one young male lover...very young. By today's standards it would be considered pedophile, or at least statuary rape, but back then it was apparently pretty common and accepted in Greece. So I suppose it's a little unfair of me to try and apply modern standards and morals to what was going on back then....

I'd say that given LKH's fascination with fucking young boys would be why she picked this name, but I highly doubt she even knows this. I think the one time she referenced Socrates in her twitter/facebook, she ended up misspelling the name.

Porn star names can be fun, but I'm getting a little tired of the overall ridiculousness of the names in Anitaverse. Noticed as the names became more ridiculous, the characters with more normal names have kinda disappeared. Whatever happened to Hannah? And Willie?

[a-sporking-rat.livejournal.com]

I'm afraid the story behind Socrates' name (and Ares') already has a much less specific-to-him explanation: Narcissus gives all his werehyenas new names from Ancient Greek mythology (or, in this case, a philosopher) upon joining his Cackle. Past examples include Dionysus, Bacchus (which...is Roman but I guess he thought it would be cute since Bacchus was Dionysus's boyfriend), and Ajax. It's never explained if this is a werehyena thing or just a Narcissus thing (we have yet to see any hyenas that aren't part of his all-male Cackle) but my bet is it's a Narcissus thing.

[a-sporking-rat.livejournal.com]

I don't think it's specified whether it's voluntary or not. There was mention of one guy having trouble adjusting to his new name, but that doesn't necessarily mean he still couldn't have taken it by choice.

No, there are no other ones named after philosophers (or real people at all) that I can recall. I think LKH just decided "eh, it's Ancient Greek, whatever!" and tossed it in. Ditto for how she also probably went "close enough!" with the Roman myth name of Bacchus.

[subtle-shades.livejournal.com]

You were right. I needed ALL the cute! (Also, I need the dik dik. Yes, I do.)

Honestly, if this chapter (and the next one) made it past the editor, I shudder to think what the editor had to cut.

they look like their mom... "she'd died when they were little, like mine."
This is literally the first time that I've heard anything about the twins' mother. I think that LKH made this part up so that she could drop that tidbit about Anita's mom AGAIN. (Because Anita is the only main character!) And because someone probably pointed out to her that if Stephan and Gregory have a father, then they have to have a mother. It's, y'know, biology.

Gregory has shown any personality before now, or if this is just another telling-instead-of-showing thing.
I don't remember Gregory as being particularly unpleasant in the earlier books so much as not immediately willing to bow down before Anita. I certainly don't remember him as being MORE unpleasant than Anita. Also, I think Vivian's color changed during the description of the various guards. But I'm not sure since I've never actually been certain what Vivian looked like.

"Did we depend too much on the rats and the hyenas? Yes. Should we change it? Probably."
She mentions this in nearly every book! I wish something would EVER come of it.

In a gym where everyone else is a large, trained-in-some-way, supernaturally strong man, some are probably going to think a small-looking woman won't be able to keep pace with them.
Anita and I do fitness differently. Even when I'm with a friend, my gym visits don't involve this much talking, gawking or giving a crap about how fast or strong they are. I couldn't tell you how many laps around the track or across the pool the guy next to me did or what he was wearing. The only thing I can tell you is if he got in my way. As long as nothing catches fire and no one dies, I really don't give a crap what the people around me are doing.

Secondly, Anita's the one who starts this "competition" with her crap about not being human. (Which is a LIE. She seems to have forgotten that she hasn't taken the fourth mark, that she'd still be a HUMAN servant, and that Areas is more of a shifter than her, regardless of what he turns into.) I have a hard time feeling sorry for her supposed "gender inequity issues" when she starts it and is so unpleasant to boot. Who knows what Ares was thinking since he never gets to say?

Thirdly, no informal competition I've ever been in with either girls or guys was taken even half so serious as Anita takes this one. Even if Anita "won" the physical contests, she wouldn't have won anyone's respect or admiration, which is what she seems to need/want. The best she can hope for at this point are meaningful looks between the other contestants, the occasionally muttered "psycho" with a heartfelt nod from the other party, and being talked about in unkind terms behind her back.

Ares says he didn't mean anything by it and apologizes.
Ares, who is presumably a were-hyena, probably didn't mean his apology. He merely said it as a means of calming down this obviously out-of-control semi-shifter standing across from him.

Anita running with Nathaniel, Gregory, and Stephen and how they kick everyone else's asses at it.
a.) Most. Boring. Pages. Ever.
b.) Seriously.
c.) Anita's Toilet Time would probably be more useful to the plot. And much more entertaining. (Can you IMAGINE her threatening her poops and ordering them to come out RIGHT NOW because she is the Great and Powerful and Super Sexy Anita Blake?)
d.) I have doubts about any of those three being faster than the people around them, super powers or not. Mostly because everyone in that gym has super speed and none of those four hit the gym or run around the block. Ever.
e.) Okay, Micah and Nathaniel went running once. But that was so that Ronny could be jealous of Anita's sweaty menz and be chastised for not treating them like ladies people.

[a-sporking-rat.livejournal.com]

(Can you IMAGINE her threatening her poops and ordering them to come out RIGHT NOW because she is the Great and Powerful and Super Sexy Anita Blake?)

OH MY GOD I LOST I LOL DYING OF LAUGHTER HERE

So, I finished Invigorating, and I have a few headcanons/theories, can you verify/tell me if I'm right or not?

1) Glory and Anita have the same core of being selfish, immature people who treat others as toys or less. But Glory actually is very stylish, conventionally femme, concerned about clothes and shoes, etc., unlike Anita who makes a really big point of being the OPPOSITE of all these things. Not to mention blonde.

My theory is that Invigorating!Anita is hateful towards all this stuff because it's secretly what she wants to be We already know that canon Anita is super-jealous of blonde and women and goes on about how unattractive she is compared to them. So it wouldn't be such a stretch if her hatred towards stylish fashionable love-shoes-and-clothes ladies was due not just to internalized misogyny, but also to jealousy too. She has NO sense of style, she damn well should be envious of those who do! Thus, when she reincarnates on our plane as Glory, she takes the form and sensibilities of what she always seemed to hate as a mere mortal...but actually always secretly wanted to be.

2) Glory ruled her hell dimension alongside two other gods. Am I right in thinking that in Invigorating, these were Richard and Jean-Claude? Because, y'know, triumvirate.

3) This is less a theory and more a comment...my first thought about Ben = Nathaniel was that I doubted Ben was pretty enough. But then I remembered Nathaniel is only 19 when first introduced; Ben seems older than that, and probably has to be to be a nurse. I knew a guy who was once really, really beautiful, like some kind of fey or elf, when he was around Nathaniel's age. But once he got to his mid-twenties, he wasn't pretty anymore. He's not bad-looking, just, y'know, an ordinary dude, not striking like he was for a few years after his growth spurt. Puberty can last into your 20s, and I think that was the case for him, and for Invigorating!Nathaniel/Ben. And this just makes me happy in a really spiteful way because I love to think about Anita's reaction if Nathaniel really did end up looking like an ordinary dude after a few years, even a cute type like Ben >D

[subtle-shades.livejournal.com]

*grin*

I have a few headcanons/theories, can you verify/tell me if I'm right or not?
Of course!

1.) That was exactly the secret!characterization that I was going for when I wrote Anita in Invigorating! I mean yeah, misogyny ahoy but, well, maybe she was so enthusiastic about a set of values that devalues a key component of her sense of self because she wanted to be those girls, couldn't be those girls, and decided to hate them forever after she finally gave up trying to be them. But since Buffy & Asher aren't Anita's BFFs (and she wouldn't admit her secret jealousy even if they were), I was resigned to no one knowing my secret!characterization for Anita.

(And, okay, the fact that I chose not to write very much of Anita into the story in no way made communicating Anita's secret!envy any easier. But it was hard to write Anita without making her exactly as ridiculous as she is.)

2.) You are a cunning lady. *nods* Definitely. If I ever wrote a sequel, there'd be a lot more about that in it.

3.) *grins* I've always wondered if Anita would like Nathaniel if he ever matured enough to have hairy legs, morning stubble, or a manly jawline. Or even just started using masculine scents.

[a-sporking-rat.livejournal.com]

1) Given things like how how much Anita notices girly stuff like clothes (I mean, she describes outfits endlessly, including what, gasp, other women are wearing!) even when she claims not to care, I think it's a really valid theory for canon Anita too! And sadly, I have met women IRL that it basically really seemed to be the case for, so it's that much more extra believable for me.

2) Yeeees! If you ever do write a sequel, please let me know!

3) Of course, now we'll never know, because him being bound to her as her Leopard to Call probably means that, like the Human Servant of a vampire, he won't age past his current point :/ HOW CONVENIENT

[subtle-shades.livejournal.com]

When Ares tells her it's "not bad"
...He's really thinking, 'Why won't she leave me alone to lift these weights in peace?'

"Ares is just mad that he's fast out of the gate but doesn't have the stamina to keep up"
This is RIDICULOUSLY rude. She doesn't know him. They're not friends. And this doesn't come off as flirty or funny or clever. Worse yet, this man is an EMPLOYEE. I hope he goes straight to HR about this.

all the men "made appreciative noises at the comment"
Elizabeth, whom Anita has forgotten about, has told them that Anita shoots people who don't laugh at her 'coy little jokes'. Elizabeth isn't actually lying about that.

Ares starts to get mad but then he laughs and says he deserved it
He remembered what Elizabeth said to him in the nick of time. Even if shifters can heal up from regular bullets, that doesn't mean that they enjoy the process.

God this chapter is irritating.
And super immature. This is the sort of wish you have when you're in middle school and sucking hard core on the basketball unit.

Anita teases him again about a lack of stamina
And he's got to put up with it for the time being or he'll immediately be shot, lose his job, or required to demonstrate his skills. I hope he gets a huge settlement out of JC after this.

Lisandro asks if Ares has ever seen Anita work the heavy bag
I'm not sure why LKH writes Lisandro as championing Anita's badass-ness. She raped him and has done so repeatedly if that snide little comment about 'not usually feeding her because of his wife' meant anything. Lisandro should loathe Anita with a breathtaking passion. Whether or not Areas has been snotty towards Lisandro or anyone else, and I lean towards 'not' on that, rape trumps bad manners REGARDLESS of what Anita/LKH thinks.

Also, Lisandro should get in on Ares' lawsuit.

"It wasn't just me being a girl and small, it was him."
Pretty to think so.

(Ha! Got it in! And it is as snotty to type as to read, it turns out.)

Lisandro says since stamina is the issue then the loser is the one who quits first.
Soooo, why does Anita/LKH think it's a strength thing? It makes no sense, even just within the contest's parameters to beat the bag so hard that her vision goes gray. Ares should just slap at the bag while Anita beats the bag as hard as she can for the next twenty minutes and then collapses in exhaustion. It should be an obvious win for the guy. (Or maybe he could've won but was worried that she was going to have a massive coronary and die. And then he'd be in huge trouble for killing The Chosen One.)

"If you think you can outlast our negra gatita, put your money where your mouth is."
It should be gatita negra.

she says "They're wererats, Ares"
This just sounds incredibly condescending and rude. Like, it doesn't matter what they say/call her because they're JUST were-rats.

"They're not calling me their little black rat. Think it through."
I have no idea what she thinks that Ares should think through. Is it okay because it's something cute like a kitten, not like a rat? Or because she's not theirs? Or because they're not saying that someone as amazing as HER isn't one of THEM?

You are being called a cat because cats are the PREDATORS of rats, and you preyed on all the wererats through Rafael like the rapist you are.
I like this explanation better.

the next chapter is just three and a half pages.
It's so you can better savor the GLORY of Anita competing in her their stupid contest. And that the bit about bag punching is full of interesting tips... that are all wrong.

(I bet Fredo's soooo sad that he can't practice with Anita. Mmmhm.)

Lisandro: We're calling her our cat.
You really aren't. Trust me on that. Or you could just use Google to translate it. I won't be offended.

just makes me hope she DIES from this.
We could only be so lucky.

should really only ever be this kind of person in the beginning of a story where they're obviously in the wrong according to the narrative and develop into an entirely different person in the end.
That's what I thought was going to happen when I first read an AB book. I was so terribly, terribly mistaken.

[twin-sanity.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure why LKH writes Lisandro as championing Anita's badass-ness. She raped him and has done so repeatedly if that snide little comment about 'not usually feeding her because of his wife' meant anything. Lisandro should loathe Anita with a breathtaking passion. Whether or not Areas has been snotty towards Lisandro or anyone else, and I lean towards 'not' on that, rape trumps bad manners REGARDLESS of what Anita/LKH thinks.

I like to think he (and so the other wererats) is just excited to see how Anita nearly kills herself trying to prove she's the best motherfucker in the room. So when Lisandro asks if Ares has ever seen Anita work the heavy bag I can see him just trolling her, like "ZOMG, dude, here it comes! She'll keep going untill she faints again, lol!"

By the way, Ares won: he maybe stopped a bit earlier, but he's still on his feet and feels just great, while Anita is on her limits and nearly pukes of exhaustion :/ Doesn't "stamina" means you can keep working long period of time WITHOUT FEELING LIKE YOU'RE ABOUT TO DIE?

[ex-naomi-ja.livejournal.com]

People with nifty nicknames like negra gatita didn't puke from exhaustion and dehydration, or we tried not to.

This is the kind of line that made me really love Anita in the early books - funny, silly, self-aware, and very distinctly Anita. Now they're just annoying because Anita is no longer funny or self-aware. Ugh.

[a-sporking-rat.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I would have loved that awkwardly human line if the situation had been different (aka she wasn't doing this shit AT THE WORST TIME and was also going to realize what a dumbass she was from it and change)

[rodentfanatic.livejournal.com]

Hahahahah yay, glad to hear it!

[wanderingworlds.livejournal.com]

1. Larger... caverns? Wait, what? This isn't Defiance, there was no terra-forming. There aren't any fucking caverns. The fuck are you talking about, LKH?

2. Why would you wear a shirt that tight? It sounds really unpleasant. Especially to sweat in. I don't even like working out. Ew, exercise. Ugh, fail.

3. Big, athletic men. Aggression. No, I'm pretty sure that energy is... energy? Possibly mixed with competition, a dash of testosterone, and maybe a hint of aggression. But then again, these are all therians, so no, you're wrong. There's probably tons of pent-up aggression, and considering this is Doomcrotch they're around, there's bound to be oodles of sexual frustration, too.

4. Your headcanon for the new Donovan-Rafael-Narcissus thing with Asher in the mix is now my headcanon and I love it and wish someone would write fanfic. It'd be amazing. Perhaps after SvS.

5. Wow, Anita, I had no idea that when guys tease each other like that it was really just all in good fun. I thought that family and best friends for years were really hating each other and were ruining their friendships, even if days later they were back together like nothing happened. I was baffled, my world was torn asunder, I was lost and wandering completely bereft. Thank you for explaining this all to me. My life has meaning now.

6. Is Ares a rat? Or a hyena? I'm confused because his Greek name leans towards hyena because uh... I have no idea why LKH is giving all the Greek names to the hyenas. It's confusing me. Either way, I'm adopting your reasoning behind his "Don't bother keeping up with us" argument as headcanon, too, because it makes sense. And he can join Shang-Da. 'Cause awww. He's being caring and it's adorable, even if horribly misplaced. Also he has no reason to fear, his hair isn't long enough.

7. I feel like Ares just started to get mad, then realized it wasn't worth it and was like "Fuck it, she'll just explode and try to kill someone, it's better to laugh". And I feel like the other guys making appreciative noises at her joke were either A) because they're lunkheads and find frat-boy level comedy hilarious, or B) are just humoring her to keep their lives.

8. You are being called a cat because cats are the PREDATORS of rats, and you preyed on all the wererats through Rafael like the rapist you are. They are calling you this because it SOUNDS like a cool nickname to you, but it's actually the only way they can get away with expressing what they really think of you. That's how I see it. YES YES YES YES YES! BOOM, BABY! Fucking hate Anita, Jesus Christ.

9. Also, she's not even being called a cat, she's being called a kitten. Cats are elegant, sleek, and graceful. Kittens are clumsy, messy, and rambunctious.They have zero control over their abilities, don't know how to hunt properly, and are still trying to learn how to be a cat. Anita might think Lisandro is calling her cute? But he's double-insulting her by pointing out how little control she has.

10. Shut the fuck up, Lisandro.

11. NATHANIEL. WHERE IS THAT BACKBONE YOU JUST HAD. WHO GIVES A SHIT IF SHE THINKS LESS OF HER, HIKE HER ASS UP AND CARRY HER OVER YOUR SHOULDER OUT OF THERE AND GET HER SOME GODDAMN WATER. Doesn't he have triumviate powers to know this shit, too? Or is being able to know her feelings only a JC thing because of the 3 out of 4 marks she has? AND ALSO WHY AREN'T YOU LECTURING HER ON STUPIDITY? THE WHOLE REASON FOR EXERCISE IS TO COOL HER OFF NOT SO SHE'D BLOW UP AT NEW MEN. GODDAMN.

[rodentfanatic.livejournal.com]

1) Apparently there is this huge system of natural underground caves underneath the Circus and that's where all the vampires live...and now, for some reason, the bulk of the therians?

4) yay!

6) he's a hyena. Narcissus gives a new name (from Greek mythology...and, uh, apparently philosophers too) to every one of his werehyenas when they join his Cackle. It's never explained why he does this, nor whether it's a werehyena thing or just a Narci thing (I think it's a Narci thing)

7) Sounds about right to me!

9) hahaha, that too!

[wanderingworlds.livejournal.com]

1. But... but there aren't any caves under St. Louis? I'm pretty damn sure that the city would've been like "KACHING! $_$" and there'd be tours and we'd have fabulous sex adventures. We, being the residents of the Metro St. Louis Area. Yes. And didn't someone like several chapters/a book/something ago point out that they were all filled in with concrete and even IF these were reopened by say the wererats with their teeth then the human Mayor would be like "OH SHIT NO" about the fact wererats can chew through a man-made infrastructure pretty damn easily (although it certainly wouldn't be good for their digestion if they swallowed any of it :/ poor wereritties). I just. LOGIC GUIZ.

6. I'm going to go with it's a Narci thing. Perhaps instilled by Chimera. Or whoever named Chimera, Chimera. So whoever was in charge of the Cackle before him? Because... maybe at some point there was a werehyena who was the Animal to Call of a vampire from Ancient Greece, or who was from the Renaissance and therefore obsessed with the Classical Age and renamed that... [insert name of Head of Cackle] after Greek thing. And he was embarrassed, so he renamed everyone after a Greek thing, so Chimera got renamed Chimera. Who then in turn was like, "this isn't so bad" but since Chimera was kinda crazy, he renamed Narcissus Narcissus, and Narci is just... well, Narci, and kept up the tradition and yeah. I don't know but I like this and it's my new headcanon.

[lady-fellshot.livejournal.com]

11. It's because Nate's backbone is actually just a notochord and Nate is inherently sessile in mental nature, just like a tunicate. I wonder if it might be subtle mental prodding from Damien, since Damien is the one doing all of the eating to keep everyone alive and he's probably run out of snacks and stomach capacity for the rest of the evening.

[spikdpunch.livejournal.com]

This was one chapter I was waiting for.

Before I read the book, LKH was reading parts out loud somewhere, and going on about how heavy in plot she's made this book. She said she had troubles finding a part she could read that wouldn't give away major plot spoilers. ;)

Then I got to this chapter and I was just dumbfounded. I thought. Oh..yeah, this is SO plot filled....;P Right, of course she couldn't spoil how Anita is the only one who knows how to conserve her walking powers so she can last longer. That's so major to the story ;) Right? ;)

[rodentfanatic.livejournal.com]

Seriously? Plot? There are so many other chapters that are pretty plotless too she could have read from. Like the thing with Valentina or the fucking ballet-whatever at the beginning. But I guess this is the MOST plotless, yes.

[spikdpunch.livejournal.com]

Yep, she would start to read a few sentences and then stop, saying "Oh, this will give it all away...better move on." ;) and then she went on to say it was just very hard to find any spots without important information that would give the story away. ;) Which was why I stopped at the track part and just kept thinking "This is plot? THIS is PLOT??"

[baeraad.livejournal.com]

So this was basically just an entire chapter dedicated to buff men running around in tight clothes and being athletic (and Anita being better than them, of course)? You know, whenever I feel that my writing is too self-indulgent, I take a look at LKH and feel comforted. For me to equal the sheer amount of shameless self-gratification she shows, I would need to include metric tons of bouncing boobage in every story! :P

Admittedly, I know some male authors who write exactly like that - ahem, Peter F Hamilton! - so I admit that she's not entirely in a category of her own...

Some women. Can anyone else just hear the same sneering tone in her voice that I can?

Yes. Yes, I can. And it's particularly rich coming from LKH, who once posted proudly of how she craftily escaped certain death by not giving change to a beggar outside a grocery store. I guess that big, muscle-bound guys are pretty and so can't possibly be all bad, but the dirty, smelly, starved ones are probably murderer-rapists the lot of them. :P

"Did we depend too much on the rats and the hyenas? Yes. Should we change it? Probably." But then she decides that's a problem for another day.

I can't help it notice that whenever Anita asks herself a rhetorical question and answers "maybe" or "probably" or something like that, it really means that the answer is "yes, but I can't be bothered to do anything about it." She did it on just about the first page of Guilty Pleasures, as I recall, and it hasn't gotten any less annoying with time.

I don't think it's being egotistical of me to say that this idea alone is better than this entire novel. Hell, it's not even much a compliment to myself.

No, I don't think so either - it's a pretty cool idea that would explore the dangers of taking people for granted and thinking that they are less important than you. Hell, you could even turn Anita into a compelling tragic heroine that way - doing what she honestly thought was best but betrayed by her... many, many fatal flaws.

Wow Anita, you sure are hip to mysteries never before discovered by any of womankind till you.

I am suddenly reminded of this sf story I read wherein a fool was put in a computer simulation that convinced him that he was a high-powered and incredibly intelligent AI. The way it worked was by letting him think his own dull thoughts but imprinting the delusion on him that they were inhumanly complex and insightful. So he would think something like "cork comes from the bark of the cork oak" and the simulation would assure him that that was in fact a series of advanced equations for a sixteen-dimensional universe.

It just came to mind, somehow... :P

That last sentence is something that actually might have endeared me to her, but the fact that she not only put herself in that position just to show up everyone and it's not being treated as stupid and egotistical on her part, and she did it at the worst possible time, just makes me hope she DIES from this.

Yeah. It's like she just can't understand that overdramatising everyday crap like working out (oh no, she exerted herself so much that she almost passed out! X-TREME!) is not a valid substitute for including anything that is naturally dramatic. Especially not when sources of natural drama are actually included in the premise for the story, and she's ignoring them in favour of going off and doing the everyday crap.