How to Improve Skin Trade
Jan. 1st, 2013 02:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
a_sporking_ratRatty news first: Baby Sam clearly thinks she is a stuffed animal--she keeps jumping into my bag of plushies and burrowing herself in among them!
Now, on to Skin Trade..
This is the worst book that I have ever read. For so, so many reasons. I'm not going to bother to list them all, but off the top of my head, I'd say the misogyny, the pacing, the total of lack of action, the promising of amazing action and then not delivering, the constant focus on how special and awesome Anita is, yet also Anita never really using this awesome and needing her butt covered by others all the damn time by men, yet still portrayed as this Utter Manly McBadass by the narrative when she does nothing to earn it, the way she gets to be the exception to every rule, the fact she's not just unlikeable and a terrible person but also just not enjoyable to read about (a character who is a terrible person can still be fun to read about, and even likeable to the reader--Humbert Humbert is a great example, for instance), there was never any real mystery to the whole case, and last but not least, the title makes NO sense! Seriously, what do the words 'Skin Trade' have to do with what happens in this book? That would have been a way better title for that one where witches were stealing the skins of shapeshifters, but that was back in the day when LKH was still doing her titles on a running theme (each book would be named after an establishment of some sort--business, club, diner, etc.--that appeared in the book, usually in connection to supernaturals) versus just calling them anything she thought sounded cool (seriously I think she actually said that Blood Noir is just called that because it sounds cool).
Things I think would improve it, in no particular order:
* Female characters who are likeable and competent besides Anita (who is neither, but is presented at least as the latter), and who are not terrible just because they don't like Anita or vice versa.
* More women on-screen period. The bulk of this book was populated with only men and scenes where everyone around Anita was male except her.
* Bibiana being given the respect she deserves, if not by others than at least by the narrative. She should not be referred to as just "Max's wife/Max's queen/Max's bride" as much as she is. Victor being a disrespectful twit to her I can understand if he's supposed to be his dad's tool, but everyone else who acts like that (such as Anita) should have consequences from her. She should also NOT fall to Vittorio when her son can resist him. Either both or neither or just Bibi should be able to fight his control, but not Victor being able to fight it when neither Bibi nor any other female tiger can. It just makes no sense for how the tigers are set up.
* Someone other than Vittorio being the culprit. There was never any mystery from the start, and the idea that it might be someone trying to frame him was never entertained at all for more than a brief mention, then forgotten.
* The reason for the crime having nothing to do with Anita or the culprit wanting her in any way
* Infodumps and worldbuilding happening much more organically, and not steered in such a way that they're just there to make Anita special (tigers and little queens, a tiger king needing a queen to start a clan, golden tigers as special and rare and powerful, etc.)
* One misogynist serial killer that is in love with Anita and that she wants to make better with love is annoying enough. Two is right out. Personally I'll go with Vittorio since he at least seems a bit more developed that Olaf does, and doesn't have the whole bogus 'blending in with the cops' crap going on.
* People, especially fellow law enforcement, that disagree with Anita should not be strawmen, and should not be clueless and incompetent, both in general and with regards to the supernatural.
* If a weapon gets mentioned, it gets used. Period. Especially if it's something really cool.
* DITTO FOR THE DEMON. THAT DEMON NEEDS TO BE THERE. IT NEEDS TO ACTUALLY SHOW UP AND BE FOUGHT, OR DON'T FUCKING MENTION IT.
* Fight scenes that are actually fight scenes, not just metaphysical hooha between two people as they just stand there doing nothing. When metaphysical hooha does happen or Anita is on the astral plane with Marmee Noir, it should be more exciting and more damaging. No just walking into sunlight and getting all better.
* MOAD needs to be allowed to be the amazing cthonic horror she was meant to be.
* Vittorio needs to not break canon and make nonsensical statements about Belle and Dragon never being human and yadda yadda.
* There should be no nonsense about breaking the Animal Servant bond with sex, waking people up with a kiss of true love, and so on. Mainly because if you ask me, it's just too EASY in a universe where magic originally started out as having to kill animals and give blood offerings to raise zombies.
*If Anita is going to be our viewpoint character (and I wouldn't say no to someone else taking that on!) then the action should happen with her onscreen to see and participate in it. Martin Bendez getting shot down, MOAD getting blown up, both of these should have been things she was involved in.
* Anita should firstly have a lot of her sociopathic rapist shit just plain taken out of her, but there are some flaws that I think would be good for her to keep, provided they were written as flaws and she was shown to be in the wrong. My choice ones would be her need to engage in pissing contests, her misogyny, and her weakness towards pretty supernatural men with sob stories. All of these should be big roadblocks to her that trip her up, not things she's shown to be right about. Oh, and make her phobia of flying a lot more serious and believable, because I just can't see it as realistic when she's all of a sudden happily reaching out towards buildings like a kid when Truth flies her back to the city. A phobia means a goddamn phobia.
* Edward should be Edward, not Podward. Bernardo should not be the whipping boy for being normal-ish. Olaf either should not be there or should be handled MUCH differently.
* LKH did a pretty good job of tying up all the loose ends in the epilogue, but she missed two big ones: Just what was the information that Paula Chu was withholding, and are the police still on the hunt for the weretiger that killed Randy Sherman?
* None of this living vampire shit. As with Vittorio and Anita's multiple tigers, I just want LKH to stop breaking her own canon.
* Make the dialogue much more natural, and if Anita must use silly phrases like "flavor" and "I am so not that" or "I would so think this", then that should be confined to HER way of speaking. It should not be how everyone else, such as Bernardo, speaks as well.
* Better pacing, less detours, keep plot and subplots on track and under control, etc.
* We should have learned what the psychic and/or magical talents of each and every SWAT practitioner was, and seen them use said talents in combat. Seriously, how did that one guy get a nickname like SPIDER? And why make us wonder how Davey's power would work against jinn and never have him face them at all? Bringing it up and then never having it happen actually makes the book seem even less exciting than if you'd just never mentioned it at all. She missed out a great opportunity for cool action scenes with superpowers AND for worldbuilding regarding the gifted humans of this world, and for what? I'm sure she could still have worked in Vittorio pawing at Anita's cum-covered titties and calling her eyes ~cognac diamonds~ somewhere.
* Trimming of irrelevant info, especially the long passages about it. For instance, the first chapter, where she goes over the photos of everyone on her co-workers desk and describes the exact color and texture of Larry's baby's hair and about his wife's religion and how she doesn't get on with Anita and so on, none of which ever came up again in the novel or had any bearing on the plot. It's just distracting and boring and makes Anita look like she cares more about this inane crap than THAT HEAD IN THE BOX. There's just so much similar fat in this book that should be sawed off for the better. Yes, that would leave us with a much thinner novel, but then we could thicken it up again by including lots of ACTION and WORLDBUILDING and PLOT!
* This is more for future books, but maybe instead of successfully banishing the jinn, they just end up setting them loose instead? I feel like that could be very good plot fuel for future books.
Now, on to Skin Trade..
This is the worst book that I have ever read. For so, so many reasons. I'm not going to bother to list them all, but off the top of my head, I'd say the misogyny, the pacing, the total of lack of action, the promising of amazing action and then not delivering, the constant focus on how special and awesome Anita is, yet also Anita never really using this awesome and needing her butt covered by others all the damn time by men, yet still portrayed as this Utter Manly McBadass by the narrative when she does nothing to earn it, the way she gets to be the exception to every rule, the fact she's not just unlikeable and a terrible person but also just not enjoyable to read about (a character who is a terrible person can still be fun to read about, and even likeable to the reader--Humbert Humbert is a great example, for instance), there was never any real mystery to the whole case, and last but not least, the title makes NO sense! Seriously, what do the words 'Skin Trade' have to do with what happens in this book? That would have been a way better title for that one where witches were stealing the skins of shapeshifters, but that was back in the day when LKH was still doing her titles on a running theme (each book would be named after an establishment of some sort--business, club, diner, etc.--that appeared in the book, usually in connection to supernaturals) versus just calling them anything she thought sounded cool (seriously I think she actually said that Blood Noir is just called that because it sounds cool).
Things I think would improve it, in no particular order:
* Female characters who are likeable and competent besides Anita (who is neither, but is presented at least as the latter), and who are not terrible just because they don't like Anita or vice versa.
* More women on-screen period. The bulk of this book was populated with only men and scenes where everyone around Anita was male except her.
* Bibiana being given the respect she deserves, if not by others than at least by the narrative. She should not be referred to as just "Max's wife/Max's queen/Max's bride" as much as she is. Victor being a disrespectful twit to her I can understand if he's supposed to be his dad's tool, but everyone else who acts like that (such as Anita) should have consequences from her. She should also NOT fall to Vittorio when her son can resist him. Either both or neither or just Bibi should be able to fight his control, but not Victor being able to fight it when neither Bibi nor any other female tiger can. It just makes no sense for how the tigers are set up.
* Someone other than Vittorio being the culprit. There was never any mystery from the start, and the idea that it might be someone trying to frame him was never entertained at all for more than a brief mention, then forgotten.
* The reason for the crime having nothing to do with Anita or the culprit wanting her in any way
* Infodumps and worldbuilding happening much more organically, and not steered in such a way that they're just there to make Anita special (tigers and little queens, a tiger king needing a queen to start a clan, golden tigers as special and rare and powerful, etc.)
* One misogynist serial killer that is in love with Anita and that she wants to make better with love is annoying enough. Two is right out. Personally I'll go with Vittorio since he at least seems a bit more developed that Olaf does, and doesn't have the whole bogus 'blending in with the cops' crap going on.
* People, especially fellow law enforcement, that disagree with Anita should not be strawmen, and should not be clueless and incompetent, both in general and with regards to the supernatural.
* If a weapon gets mentioned, it gets used. Period. Especially if it's something really cool.
* DITTO FOR THE DEMON. THAT DEMON NEEDS TO BE THERE. IT NEEDS TO ACTUALLY SHOW UP AND BE FOUGHT, OR DON'T FUCKING MENTION IT.
* Fight scenes that are actually fight scenes, not just metaphysical hooha between two people as they just stand there doing nothing. When metaphysical hooha does happen or Anita is on the astral plane with Marmee Noir, it should be more exciting and more damaging. No just walking into sunlight and getting all better.
* MOAD needs to be allowed to be the amazing cthonic horror she was meant to be.
* Vittorio needs to not break canon and make nonsensical statements about Belle and Dragon never being human and yadda yadda.
* There should be no nonsense about breaking the Animal Servant bond with sex, waking people up with a kiss of true love, and so on. Mainly because if you ask me, it's just too EASY in a universe where magic originally started out as having to kill animals and give blood offerings to raise zombies.
*If Anita is going to be our viewpoint character (and I wouldn't say no to someone else taking that on!) then the action should happen with her onscreen to see and participate in it. Martin Bendez getting shot down, MOAD getting blown up, both of these should have been things she was involved in.
* Anita should firstly have a lot of her sociopathic rapist shit just plain taken out of her, but there are some flaws that I think would be good for her to keep, provided they were written as flaws and she was shown to be in the wrong. My choice ones would be her need to engage in pissing contests, her misogyny, and her weakness towards pretty supernatural men with sob stories. All of these should be big roadblocks to her that trip her up, not things she's shown to be right about. Oh, and make her phobia of flying a lot more serious and believable, because I just can't see it as realistic when she's all of a sudden happily reaching out towards buildings like a kid when Truth flies her back to the city. A phobia means a goddamn phobia.
* Edward should be Edward, not Podward. Bernardo should not be the whipping boy for being normal-ish. Olaf either should not be there or should be handled MUCH differently.
* LKH did a pretty good job of tying up all the loose ends in the epilogue, but she missed two big ones: Just what was the information that Paula Chu was withholding, and are the police still on the hunt for the weretiger that killed Randy Sherman?
* None of this living vampire shit. As with Vittorio and Anita's multiple tigers, I just want LKH to stop breaking her own canon.
* Make the dialogue much more natural, and if Anita must use silly phrases like "flavor" and "I am so not that" or "I would so think this", then that should be confined to HER way of speaking. It should not be how everyone else, such as Bernardo, speaks as well.
* Better pacing, less detours, keep plot and subplots on track and under control, etc.
* We should have learned what the psychic and/or magical talents of each and every SWAT practitioner was, and seen them use said talents in combat. Seriously, how did that one guy get a nickname like SPIDER? And why make us wonder how Davey's power would work against jinn and never have him face them at all? Bringing it up and then never having it happen actually makes the book seem even less exciting than if you'd just never mentioned it at all. She missed out a great opportunity for cool action scenes with superpowers AND for worldbuilding regarding the gifted humans of this world, and for what? I'm sure she could still have worked in Vittorio pawing at Anita's cum-covered titties and calling her eyes ~cognac diamonds~ somewhere.
* Trimming of irrelevant info, especially the long passages about it. For instance, the first chapter, where she goes over the photos of everyone on her co-workers desk and describes the exact color and texture of Larry's baby's hair and about his wife's religion and how she doesn't get on with Anita and so on, none of which ever came up again in the novel or had any bearing on the plot. It's just distracting and boring and makes Anita look like she cares more about this inane crap than THAT HEAD IN THE BOX. There's just so much similar fat in this book that should be sawed off for the better. Yes, that would leave us with a much thinner novel, but then we could thicken it up again by including lots of ACTION and WORLDBUILDING and PLOT!
* This is more for future books, but maybe instead of successfully banishing the jinn, they just end up setting them loose instead? I feel like that could be very good plot fuel for future books.
no subject
Date: 2013-01-11 09:41 pm (UTC)