a-sporking-rat

- Boz seriously overestimates how big he is. For instance, he tried to jump from my lap to the computer desk, but only made it halfway before plummeting to the carpet. He was fine, but my dad was cracking up because LOL HOW BIG DOES HE THINK HE IS TO THINK HE COULD MAKE THAT LEAP

- He's also trying to burrow through the bottom of a cardboard box. His little paws make such futile scuffling sounds!

- Oatmeal scared the piss out of me when I saw her sleeping outside her boxes; I thought she was dead, she never does that! But it turns out she's now taken to nesting in the open, probably because it's getting warmer. I woke her up and she made squinty eyes and offended little noises at me.

( KISS THE DEAD, CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT & FORTY-NINE )

I was cleaning Oatmeal's cage and Boz, hearing the noise, came out of his nest and started patrolling around in his own tank, as if he was gonna find out what the source of the noise was and kick its ass, but when I stuck my hand in there to pick him up, he started squeaking and trying to hide.

Other rats during bathroom playtime: *run around bathroom*
Miss Blatz during bathroom playtime: *sits in pile of my pajamas*

( KISS THE DEAD, CHAPTER 46 )

- I feel an absurd amount of motherly pride over how Oatmeal has demolished her chew treat stick

- Well, Boz finally bit me. He didn't draw blood though. Since I can't let him think biting gets him what he wants (not getting picked up) or he'll do it every time, I just went ahead and picked him up anyway, and he made the brattiest face. Dad congratulated him on it, saying he's finally acting like a real hamster. I think he was just sick of me emptying his cheek pouch hoarde and thought I was gonna do it again, the stinker.

WE ARE 90% DONE WITH THE NOVEL AT THIS POINT ACCORDING TO MY KINDLE

KEEP THAT IN MIND AS YOU SLOG THROUGH ALL THIS CRAP STILL WAITING FOR SOMETHING TO HAPPEN

( KISS THE DEAD, CHAPTER FORTY FIVE, PART ONE )

Hey, so you know how LKH bases some scenes on things that really happened to her? Well, given how normally sex is always so idealized and free of any awkward messiness or weird noises or needing to clean up after...I kinda wonder if this is one of those "lifted from real life" things?

YEAH, I JUST PUT THAT IN YOUR HEAD. YOU'RE WELCOME.

That said, I'm disappointed. When I first heard about this scene, I was excited, and in a good way. Everyone else who I saw talking about it treated it as one of the major low points of the novel, like how Anita got her heel stuck in that poor guy's chest, but I actually thought this was a GOOD thing to include, an IMPROVEMENT over her usual. Why? Because like I said, her sex is usually pretty idealized, and despite Anita being so wet and the dudes cumming in her and all, they're never messy afterwards even when it's being used an excuse for a sexy shower. But real sex is often awkward, and hilarious, not to mention messy in that way that human bodies just are. I liked that being included, and I liked sex being made into a joke for once in this series instead of how she usually writes it. I also liked that the joke would be at Anita's expense, since she'd be one of the poor saps who was stuck in the most embarrassing way ever. Seriously, if I have to read about so much bad sex at the expense of so much potential plot, I'd at least like it to be some gut-busting shenanigans, and Anita being the butt of a joke has been a long time coming. It'd be a tremendous sign of authorial growth for LKH to let that happen to her darling, and I was looking forward to it.

I was disappointed. It wasn't funny, and Anita got away pretty scott-free, no joke on her. LKH at least tried on the former, but not on the latter.
( KISS THE DEAD CHAPTER FORTY THREE )

Spoiler: This ends up getting solved with sex. Surprised? I thought not.


( KISS THE DEAD, CHAPTER FORTY ONE )

Dad named the hamster Boz! I really liked the idea of a Russian name, but couldn't find any that seemed to fit (I also want to save Ivan the Teddybear for a teddybear hamster) Not sure if Boz totally fits, but it works---it's short and with a bit of an edge, which is what I was looking for since he's tiny and cute but also looks constantly pissed off at the world.

Nikolai's previous owner warned me that he was cage-dominant and that fingers were not to be stuck between the bars. Naturally, my dad decided to experiment with this and put a foam bullet from a nerf gun in between the bars. I wasn't there, but he says Nikolai lunged and attacked it. He showed it to me after, and it was pretty torn up. Outside of the cage though, I'm trying to get him adjusted to being on his back for belly rubs, and my dad says I should stop and Nikolai should bite me because I'm "emasculating" him and it's not right for a male rat to be on his back (but it's fine for the girls) Oh dad, stop being such an Anita.

( KISS THE DEAD, CHAPTER THIRTY NINE )

I got a new hamster! He's a Siberian dwarf, and he's been at the shelter for more than four months, poor little guy. A little girl that goes with her mom to the shelter calls him Piggy, but he doesn't actually have a real name. I was gonna go with Piggy too, but Dad thinks that's mean, so we're trying to think of something else.

( KISS THE DEAD, CHAPTER 37 )

- Sam loves her ball so I'm tempted to put her in it instead of the holding cage while I clean her cage, but then if I do, Miss Blatz frets all alone in the holding cage because SOMETHING STRANGE IS GOING ON AND I DON'T KNOW WHERE MY BABY IS ;A;

- Grigori is the Russian form of Gregory, and Rasputin means debauched one. So Grigori Rasputin was basically named Greg Pervert

- Hamster females go into heat every four days

- The Arabic word for hamster translates to Mister Saddlebags, because of their cheek pouches!

- PSA: If you find a dead opossum, check to see if she has babies in her pouch, as they could still be alive! If you do feel anything in there (yes, this means reaching inside a dead possum, please wash your hands after) take the entire body (rather than extracting the babies) to your nearest Wildlife Rescue Center! Chances are, they will all survive!

- Kangaroo rats can go for longer than camels without water!

- My dad and I watch The Walking Dead, and we think that Boo would hate zombies/walkers. They've depleted his prey population, made the remaining people very alert and hard to sneak up on, and are too rotten for him to eat instead. So he kills them on principle. He just jumps straight up in the air and gnaws his way through their skulls really fast. He is also following Tyreese and Carol, just waiting for them to leave those two little girls and Little Asskicker alone for a moment.

( KISS THE DEAD, CHAPTERS THIRTY FOUR & THIRTY FIVE )

Sid passed away on Sunday night. I knew it was coming and spent the entire day together with him and Ratsputin. I was petting him when he went, and Ratsputin was beside him. It wasn't at all unexpected, they're all almost three. Ratsputin is still pretty perky, but he's on his way out too.

Sid was short for his full name, Darth Sidius, so named by my sister because when he was little he liked to hide in pillowcases with just his nose poking out out, making him look like a Sith lord under a hood. He was a gift to my sister from her then-boyfriend, and we got Ratsputin to go with him, and while they remained lifelong friends, they couldn't live together. They were buddies and loved hanging out in neutral territory, but if they'd had to share a cage they'd have killed each other. Go figure, huh? Sid preferred my sister over me (vice versa with Ratsputin) and was so lazy that when I gave him a try in the rat ball, he just pooped in it and went to sleep. However, he could be feisty when called for it, as evident by the story I relayed last spork about him biting me because he thought I was a cat. He was also the prime suspect when we had a pregnancy scare with Miss Blatz, the little devil. He went peacefully, and his last meal was yogurt and avocado.

( KISS THE DEAD, CHAPTER THIRTY TWO )

The job interview I mentioned before got canceled due to weather and is being re-scheduled, but I had another one yesterday and I think it went alright!

Sid and Ratsputin both have the same problem going on right now with their, er, private parts, and I'm getting pretty worried about it.

Capone, a wonderful and sweet dog that we've had at the shelter since October, got adopted! I'm so happy!

( KISS THE DEAD, CHAPTER 30 )