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a_sporking_rat- Sam loves her ball so I'm tempted to put her in it instead of the holding cage while I clean her cage, but then if I do, Miss Blatz frets all alone in the holding cage because SOMETHING STRANGE IS GOING ON AND I DON'T KNOW WHERE MY BABY IS ;A;
- Grigori is the Russian form of Gregory, and Rasputin means debauched one. So Grigori Rasputin was basically named Greg Pervert
- Hamster females go into heat every four days
- The Arabic word for hamster translates to Mister Saddlebags, because of their cheek pouches!
- PSA: If you find a dead opossum, check to see if she has babies in her pouch, as they could still be alive! If you do feel anything in there (yes, this means reaching inside a dead possum, please wash your hands after) take the entire body (rather than extracting the babies) to your nearest Wildlife Rescue Center! Chances are, they will all survive!
- Kangaroo rats can go for longer than camels without water!
- My dad and I watch The Walking Dead, and we think that Boo would hate zombies/walkers. They've depleted his prey population, made the remaining people very alert and hard to sneak up on, and are too rotten for him to eat instead. So he kills them on principle. He just jumps straight up in the air and gnaws his way through their skulls really fast. He is also following Tyreese and Carol, just waiting for them to leave those two little girls and Little Asskicker alone for a moment.
KISS THE DEAD, CHAPTERS THIRTY FOUR & THIRTY FIVE
"We cleaned up in the shower, and when we'd rinsed the soap and conditioner out, Nicky proved to me that he had more game."
Anita gets on her knees. The shower tiles are smooth and wet. The hot water is pounding on them except not on her because he's in front of it and yet "only rivulets of it" is "tracing down his body so that the water more decoration to all that smooth skin." So they're both getting pounded by the shower spray except she's not, just him, but he's only got droplets on him. Uh, okay. "I licked the water off the edge of his groin, sipped it off the loose skin that dangled so delicately below." Does she mean a foreskin? "He didn't shave completely like most of the men in my life, so I licked the loose skin, feeling the smoother hardness underneath." Okay, my best guess is still foreskin? Ballsack? Her mouth has healed a lot but she's not sure if she's up to "full oral" yet but she's willing to try, and "if Nicky had been shaved all the way I would have sucked and rolled those delicate balls into my mouth, but hair between the teeth--not my favorite." So LKH can type "balls" but not any other term for male genitals? Curious. "But either he shaved, or didn't need to, above, and that I took in my mouth completely." Wait, do penises...normally have hair, then? I did not think that was the case. In fact I'm sure it isn't. And she talks about "rolling, sucking, licking" his cock in her mouth while it's still soft, without ever saying 'cock' of course, but "he didn't stay small long" meaning his cock starts to get hard. "I was even more healed than I had thought. I hadn't remembered concentrating on using Nicky's energy to heal myself, but apparently it had." Eyerolling so hard at this.
But some of the wounds aren't completely healed so she can't "put him in the sides of my mouth" because his cock will slide over them and she stops to "think about the problem", remind us she's on her knees, and that Nicky is "hard and perfect". He says they can do something else if it hurts too much, Anita decides she'll just try to avoid letting his dick hit the sides of her mouth and gives us the sage wisdom of "If you can't go around a problem, go straight at it, go straight down it." I think this might be very clumsy innuendo that is supposed to be witty in some way but I am not sure. She then spends a paragraph thinking about how she's gonna suck off Nicky without ever actually saying it. Nicky says "God" and that makes me think that wererat guy has walked in, and it snaps Anita out of her thought process about what she's gonna do to him to actually remembering he's right there right now and she notices that his face is "growing frantic". Yeah, I imagine watching her zone completely out in the shower, while the prospect of dick is in her face, is pretty alarming, even for someone used to her typical zone-outs. By now I am pretty much 100% convinced that her thoughts all take place in real-time.
He's got his hair slicked back from his face and she thinks it's the first time she's seen it "so clean and bare." So...his face is usually dirty, then? I think she means she's never seen that much of the scars but the way she phrases it just sounds like he needs to wash his face more often. She talks about how he's handsome and how he's not less so to her "because he wasn't "perfect"; it was Nicky, it was the way he looked, it was him, and I liked it, loved it." Ah, so no wonder Asher had to go; Nicky is all the same Phantom of the Opera fantasy that lets Anita pat herself on the back for being such a saint for finding him attractive and with none of that pesky free will or mind of his own in the way! Also, Anita herself stated to Asher that his scars didn't bother her because what she's into is hair and eyes. So I don't see why her not being bothered by a scarred face is something she feels she should get to brag about. He may not be "perfect" by other standards but if he's "perfect" by her standards--hair and eyes--then, yeah, she's got no room to yammer about how accepting she is. It reminds me of dudes I've encountered who feel like they deserve a medal for being into plus-sized women, and it's like, dude, if that was just automatically your taste anyway then you're not a saint because by coincidence it just happens to go against the grain of the mainstream beauty standard. Speaking of that, Anita also needs a man with no fat and a big dick, so she's more than a hair and eye girl, and Nicky also has that going on, so yeah, he is "perfect" by her standards. She can asspat herself about how accepting she is when she finds someone attractive despite them *not* being her cup of tea physically...oh wait no that will still be obnoxious and offensive as fuck.
She talks about putting his dick in her mouth without saying the d-word, talks about how she's worked on trying to get rid of her gag reflex but that she still has to breathe because she's too dumb to use her nose I guess, and has to "calm my pulse, calm my body, it was almost meditative, to stop my body from panicking that we couldn't breathe past him." We meaning her and her body, I guess? That's an interesting disconnect there. Although I guess 'we' could be 'Anita and LKH' no I am not joking, I think she could totally make that slip while writing this. Then she "drew back off him slowly, and had to cough. My eyes were tearing up, and my nose was beginning to run." Is she allergic to him?! She lets the shower "clean the tears and snot away." I really like this bit, because I like that there's some gross messy un-idealized stuff going on here, especially in regards to sex, especially with Anita herself, but then she ruins that appreciation by lampshading it/LKH patting herself on the back through the text by monologuing in her head about how it's messy like this in real life unlike in the movies. "It was my body trying to get rid of whatever the fuck was down so far, and not being swallowed." Wait, but she hasn't swallowed anything yet? How can her body be sick of semen in her stomach if there is none yet? "The body rebelled against something that large being that far down and not being swallowed. It was like my body was saying, Either swallow, or get it out." The second sentence was unneeded, the first one got across the problem just fine. Which, I now realize, is that Nicky's big dick is making her gag, and that's what caused the tears/snot.
Nicky asks if she's ok, she says fine but has to clear her throat because it's gotten hoarse from the "abuse". He begs her to feed, saying "God" in the process and I again expect God-the-wererat to pop in like yes what? Anita says that "You just want me to use the ardeur because I don't have a gag reflex and get even better at deep-throating once I release it." It still cracks me up so hard how the ardeur takes away her gag reflex. Nicky admits this is the case and "his voice is a little frantic." Dude, what is his deal? Is he gonna freak out if he doesn't get head? Anita decides to do so "as he asked" because I guess we're gonna boomerang back to her having sex she doesn't actually want to after having the only two sex scenes in this book thus far having been consensual (well, consensual until Micah started kiss-gagging her, anyway). And because "I wanted my mouth completely healed" and because she's hungry...she specifically says it's stomach-hungry, not ardeur-hungry, so I guess her logic here is she can't get food unless she blows Nicky? Or she can't eat without her mouth healing, and she'll need to feed the ardeur in order for that to happen? I'm not sure. She also says she must be really hungry if she's noticing this during sex and "it was the kind of hunger that if I didn't fix it, my beasts could rise and look for food on their own, and take my body with them while they did it." So the sensible thing would be to go to the kitchens ASAP and whip up a big ol' shake that won't hurt your mouth and is full of calories, nutrients, and protein, right?
Right?
Oh, no, wait, it's to spend six more pages blowing Nicky in the shower. Possibly more, since that's just until the end of this ten-page chapter, but I haven't read the next chapter, so for all I know she still doesn't go get food in that one either. In fact, I'm going to hazard a guess that she doesn't.
She thinks about how she used to repress the ardeur but now she "has to think about it, find it, call it, unleash it. One minute I was in control, the next the ardeur rode me, and spilled out of my skin and into Nicky." And her gag reflex vanishes and the pain of her mouth wounds now just turns her on because the ardeur makes "everything translated to sex, to want, need, desire." Sounds like the series these days! She "drove him as deep down in my throat as I could", Nicky put his hand on her head, she asks him to hold her against him as she goes down, he says she won't be able to breathe, she says "I'll tap out, then you let me go. I'll breathe again, then go down again." He asks ("made it a question") if she wants him to force her to stay down on him, she says yes, he looks "totally suspicious" which causes her to laugh and says that "I want you to mouth-fuck me, Nicky, and the ardeur will help me to do that." He frowns at her and Anita thinks how funny that is with how they're in the shower and nude and he's "hard and ready" but supposes that "he wanted to make sure this wouldn't come back and bite him later." Anita tells him she's done this with Nathaniel, Asher, and Richard.
Nicky is surprised she's done it with Richard and decides that "if you can do it with him..." and I don't know if that's a comment on his personality or dick size. The ardeur is "like heat spilling across my skin, down my fingertips to find Nicky's thigh and pour over us both". She puts his cock in her mouth and down her throat, and he puts his hand over the back of her head. She even uses one of her hands to make him press his hand harder, go Anita! It's the first fucking involvement she's had in, well, fucking! He takes the hint and presses harder and "at first it was exactly what I wanted" but then she needs to breathe and I still don't understand why she doesn't use her nose. Is it just too clogged with snot? She tries to come off him, he pushes her back down harder, she realizes she's trapped and thinks about how much she gets off on that and part of me appreciates her just acknowledging she likes this stuff and portraying them actually having agreed to do it...but then I remember the plot that's being shoved aside for this. Plus, given LKH's open interest in BDSM and how Anita is her mouthpiece, I have the sudden uncomfy feeling that I might just be reading her journal on coming to terms with liking this herself. And that gives me all the ick. (Not because I have a problem with BDSM but because I have no interest in knowing what LKH or any other real person is doing in the bedroom)
When she starts to panic, she taps against his thigh, and I guess this must be the safeword (SEE, LKH, YOU KNOW NONVERBAL CUES EXIST!) because she waxes on for half a page about how there's so much trust in this and how she has to trust he'll respect it and how "I'd admitted to myself a couple of years ago that part of what I enjoyed was that moment of trust" and how the other person could do something really bad to you but only their choice stopped it and "I liked the moment of not knowing if it was all going to go horribly wrong this time" Sugar, it's never going to go wrong with NICKY, remember? He *can't* hurt you. Also, I feel like the bit about her liking trust is a lingering bit of "but I'm still a good girl!" to throw on top of the "I'm a dark edgy kinky sex goddess" because SEEEE SHE LIKES THE ~TRUST~ OF HER PARTNERS IT'S NOT JUST SEX. And then she thinks about how once she didn't like that she liked that moment of uncertainty but now she's made peace with it and made peace with herself and "I fucking loved it." That's great, hon, that's really great, can we move on to some actual STORY now? You know, there's nothing wrong with just writing porn, but the fact is this book is *supposed* to be a "paranormal thriller" and not just straight erotica (and crappy, boring erotica for the most part at that, in my opinion).
Nicky lets go of her, "let me draw back off his body", she takes a breath and he asks if she's okay. She nods, says they can do it a little more but that not being able to breathe makes the ardeur eventually back off. WHOA, YOU CAN STOP THE ARDEUR BY SUFFOCATION? THIS IS RELEVANT TO MY FANFIC INCLINATIONS! "It does that, when self-preservation is on the line." Veeery interesting. Nicky says "Then we fuck, so you can feed" and Anita says they should "mouth-fuck; with the ardeur I can do that, and I enjoy it, too." Wait, but...mouth-fucking makes you not able to breathe, and that stops the ardeur, that's what literally just happened, what the hell Anita? "He had a moment of indecision on his face so plain it was almost painful." No, that's not indecision, that's bafflement, he can't believe you're this stupid. Nicky tells her that "We'll see how we feel when we get there" which I reckon is all he can say without insulting her. "I agreed, and we went back to our game of deep-throat bondage" and then she deigns to explain to us how this is indeed bondage and "you don't need ropes and chains for bondage, just to be held and not be able to get away." Thanks, never would have been able to fathom that myself, Anita/LKH. God I just hate when she has this total EXPLAINING tone about this stuff, you know? Whether it's about bondage or police work or how such and so isn't like in the movies, something about it just RUFFLES me.
When they've done it "as long as my throat could take" Nicky says that "I want to fuck you again. I love that I'm on your short list of the men you don't make wear a condom." Okay, two things here. That second sentence is pure exposition and it is so awkward, who talks like that? Secondly, this sentence, and what follows after it, suggests that Anita's reasons for having dudes wear condoms with her has nothing to do with preventing pregnancy (I think she knows through LKH that'll never happen, unless LKH one day wants it to and then it will no matter what) but is apparently some weird rung on an intimacy ladder or something. I don't really understand it, but I guess I can't criticize it either since it isn't harmful or cruel. Anyway, this comment causes Anita to go on a loooong internal rant that takes up most of the page. It starts with her telling us how Micah, Nathaniel, and Sin are "on my fluid-bonded list" and that Nicky being on it as well is a recent change. The only other time I encountered the term "fluid-bonding" it was being used in a really gross/insulting way by someone, but Illria kindly explained to me they were an idiot and all it means is just sex with no protection.
She then yammers in her head about being on the pill, and how being "a carrier for lycanthropy" means she can't catch lycanthropy/therianthropy "even if the rough sex bled me" but that she still makes the other dudes wear condoms just in case. Yeah, I reeeally wanted to know all this, it's exactly the sort of information about characters that I'd be hoping to gain if I were a fan---WHO WEARS A CONDOM WITH ANITA? And then she talks about how she recalls that the moment she let Nicky not wear a condom, Nathaniel and Sin were both there but Micah had been out of town OH GOD WHY IS THIS IMPORTANT AT ALL and how "it just seemed natural, but his mentioning it like that made me think about it. I wasn't always good when I thought about things." That last sentence is hilarious because it totally sounds like she's calling herself an idiot. But then again, it's also scary when you think about how one of the themes of this book seems to be insisting Anita is happy and insisting she shut up about any idea to the contrary. And she talks more to us about how when she thinks she tends to start "tearing at my relationships" and wonders if she still sees love as a trap and if she's so "unhealthy, that once a man reminded me of how much he meant to me, I had to fight my way free of it until I destroyed everything?" BECAUSE HE SAYS HE LIKES SHE DOESN'T MAKE HIM WEAR A CONDOM. And she wonders if that's what she's been doing with Sin and wonders if she's about to do it with Nicky.
....it's pretty squicky to me for various reasons that Sin is on this special little "list" by the way.
Nicky says that he can't hear her thoughts, just feel her emotions, "but I don't like that look. It's never good. What did I say wrong?" Nicky is a puppet, complete with a script he's supposed to be following, and he knows he just flubbed his lines. Anita looks at him and thinks about his hair and his face and how "his body was naked and covered in water, so lickable and yummy." Hannibal Lector has nothing on Anita's vore fetish. She thinks about how her throat still aches (but in a happy way!) from the deep-throating and how she's had Nicky for two years and wonders to herself "What did he have to do to prove himself?" SHE WANTS *NICKY* TO *PROVE HIMSELF* TO HER OH GOD WHAT THE FUCK I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN ON HOW LITTLE SENSE THAT IDEA MAKES. "What did anyone have to do to prove themselves to me? Some of the men in my life would have said a hell of a lot." OH FUCK YOU. All of them sans JC and Asher--whom you just booted, perhaps for this very reason--are bound to you against their will, were raped by you, and literally cannot live without you because of said magical bond! Where is this 'prove themselves' shit coming from? They weren't the ones trying to be with you, you were the one who enslaved them! Also, lol at Anita pretending like she has these uber-high standards when it comes to anything but physical appearance. Well, then again, no, she also demands utter obsequiousness and lack of any life outside her.
"I realized that the ardeur had receded" and we get the usual once-at-least-per-book ramble about how once upon a time the ardeur controlled her but now she controls it. And she tells us how if she doesn't feed the ardeur then it decreases her super-healing and she'll also start to drain energy from Nathaniel and Damian, then, once they're dead, Richard and Jean-Claude. That's....kind of odd to me that her other Therian Servants plus her Bride don't get drained before Richard and JC, since her bond with JC is one where she is the subordinate, not the master, and her bond with Richard through him seems to be an equal one? But she claims it was JC who "explained the metaphysical math to me" so my headcanon is that he lied and decided to tell her it would kill him right after Nathaniel because he knows they're harem members she actually 'cares' about whereas she colossally doesn't give a shit about her other Therian Servants. Likewise, if she loses Damian she loses bragging points about having the first ever Vampire Servant, and if she loses Richard then she can't drag him through the mud anymore. "I'd forgotten the ardeur was like your stomach; just because you could teach yourself not to want to eat didn't mean your body didn't need the food." How does LKH not realize Anita has an eating disorder? Same way she doesn't realize she's a serial rapist and rape victim, I guess.
And after all this inner rambling (and still not answering Nicky) "I still needed to feed" but it's not longer uncontrollable and "I had more choices now. I couldn't blame the ardeur for the sex I was having. The ardeur put some of the men on my plate" CUZ THEY'RE FOOD SEE? "but what I did with them was me." Okay, good. Now that you're at this point, you can take responsibility for having destroyed their free wills and personalities in whole or in part, go about trying to fix it, and NOT HAVE ANYMORE SEX WITH THEM BECAUSE THEIR CONSENT IS IMPAIRED."I tried to decide how I felt about that." Probably very avoidant, I expect. Anyway, it's been a full page now and she hasn't answered Nicky, so he says "Anita?" and "made it a question" (OH MY GOD I HATE IT WHEN SHE SPECIFIES SOMEONE 'MADE IT A QUESTION' WHEN THE QUESTION MARK IS RIGHT THERE ON THE DAMN PAGE) and "his face was closing down" HIS HEAD IS COLLAPSING?! "drawing away from me, putting his defenses back in place. He'd been made into a sociopath, which meant some of the emotions were in there. I didn't want him to put them away again." Well then he won't, I'm sure, since your desires literally control him! "I liked the glimpses I got of his heart." That would be so romantic, I'm sure, if not for the context of the whole Bride thing and also how much I hate her talking like she knows shit about sociopaths. I think there's a good chance my brother is a sociopath, he meets a lot of the criteria for Antisocial Personality Disorder, at least as defined by the DSM-IV-TR. I'd like her to meet him. He's gross. He's not cool. He's a loser. He's a mean, manipulative, very stupid loser, and from what little I know of sociopaths, that's how most of them end up. It's not romantic, it's fucking sad.
After this romantic reflection, she tells him to fuck her. He asks what, she says fuck me, he smiles "with an almost disturbing happiness" with "the sense there was darkness inside." I GET IT. MEN ARE ~DARK~ WHEN THEY HAVE SEX AND NICKY IS A 'SOCIOPATH' SO HE'S EXTRA ~DARK~ I GET THAT HE IS A 'SOCIOPATH' ALRIGHT?! Ugh, the only thing worse than when something is only told and never shown is when it's TOLD OVER AND OVER and still never shown. And she talks about how Nicky has darkness in him that always wants out and it gets to come out and play "dark games" with her. "He let me see the happy monster inside him" BECAUSE SHE'S SPECIAL AND ONLY SHE CAN HANDLE THIS! "It had nothing to do with his beast" CUZ HE'S A SOCIOPATH...WHO HAS DONE ZERO ACTUAL SHIT ON-SCREEN. EVEN WHEN HE HAD ANITA AT GUN-POINT. "It was all human, just most people didn't like to admit it." What other people? No, seriously, we've never seen Nicky interact with anyone else since what Anita did to him. We've caught the tail end of him flirting with a blonde in Hit List, but that's it. And his aforementioned interactions before Anita mind-raped him were just being ordered around by Jacob and squabbling with him over Anita. "Nicky didn't mind. Nathaniel didn't mind. Dev didn't mind. And because they didn't mind, I was beginning not to mind either." Yeah, who cares he killed two Pride members behind your back?
She says "Fuck me" again and "He didn't make me ask again."
THERE IS ANOTHER CHAPTER OF THIS?!
*checks*
THERE IS ANOTHER CHAPTER!
UGGGGH
Okay, small blessings, it's only three pages, so I'm just gonna knock it out with this spork.
"Nicky picked me up again, and I wrapped myself around him like a monkey" Such erotic imagery. He pushes her against the shower wall, which takes an entire paragraph to do, "to try for the hardest, deepest thrust he could get from this angle." Anita then talks a lot about "not every man could do good wall sex" and how fit you have to be for it. Nicky "found a hard, fast rhythm, going in and out of me" and it feels really good. "He was going so hard and fast that my body began to bump and scrape against the wall. The tiles were smooth but it was still a near-bruising rhythm, and I loved it. " It's hard to hold on because it feels so good (wow, probably the most work Anita ever actually does during sex!) and he tells her to feed because "I won't have another time in me" after this, and instead of just doing what he says, Anita thinks how "that he admitted it said just how much effort even Nicky was having to expend to do wall sex this forcefully." Anita says yes, Nicky asks in his "exercise-rich voice" if she means "yes, yes great sex, or you heard me?" and she says she heard him and he pauses, then starts pounding again, and Anita claims she is "helping him fuck me against the slick cool/warmth of the tiles" just by holding on. Well, I guess technically dropping off his dick would be unhelpful. Also "cool/warmth" is the most awkward lazy description.
He shudders and gasps "Soon, real soon", she says she heard him and tells us more how hard it is to hold on "at his shoulders and waist." and "I realized that I'd put the ardeur away again, that it had just been me and Nicky against the wall." Um, yes, that's been obvious, since you've had to be told to let it loose, meaning it's not already there yet? Also, how does she NOT NOTICE that she is MAKING HER OWN CHOICES for once? So she has the call the ardeur, "and suddenly I was all heat and need" instead of just all need like usual I guess. Nicky makes some sex exclamations, and I think he comes, "and I fed. I fed on the feel of him inside me, the spill of him inside me." and then there's a whole paragraph of the same, I fed on his hands on my thigh and hip, I fed on his eyes closed, etc. "He put one hand on the wall, and then were were sliding down to his knees." Wait, what? How does that work? "And then his head bowed, and he began to slump to the side, and I knew something was wrong." He then falls "completely limp" to the floor, his skin is cool to the touch, and she can't find a pulse in his neck so she screams for help.
If he's lucky, he's dead.
- Grigori is the Russian form of Gregory, and Rasputin means debauched one. So Grigori Rasputin was basically named Greg Pervert
- Hamster females go into heat every four days
- The Arabic word for hamster translates to Mister Saddlebags, because of their cheek pouches!
- PSA: If you find a dead opossum, check to see if she has babies in her pouch, as they could still be alive! If you do feel anything in there (yes, this means reaching inside a dead possum, please wash your hands after) take the entire body (rather than extracting the babies) to your nearest Wildlife Rescue Center! Chances are, they will all survive!
- Kangaroo rats can go for longer than camels without water!
- My dad and I watch The Walking Dead, and we think that Boo would hate zombies/walkers. They've depleted his prey population, made the remaining people very alert and hard to sneak up on, and are too rotten for him to eat instead. So he kills them on principle. He just jumps straight up in the air and gnaws his way through their skulls really fast. He is also following Tyreese and Carol, just waiting for them to leave those two little girls and Little Asskicker alone for a moment.
KISS THE DEAD, CHAPTERS THIRTY FOUR & THIRTY FIVE
"We cleaned up in the shower, and when we'd rinsed the soap and conditioner out, Nicky proved to me that he had more game."
Anita gets on her knees. The shower tiles are smooth and wet. The hot water is pounding on them except not on her because he's in front of it and yet "only rivulets of it" is "tracing down his body so that the water more decoration to all that smooth skin." So they're both getting pounded by the shower spray except she's not, just him, but he's only got droplets on him. Uh, okay. "I licked the water off the edge of his groin, sipped it off the loose skin that dangled so delicately below." Does she mean a foreskin? "He didn't shave completely like most of the men in my life, so I licked the loose skin, feeling the smoother hardness underneath." Okay, my best guess is still foreskin? Ballsack? Her mouth has healed a lot but she's not sure if she's up to "full oral" yet but she's willing to try, and "if Nicky had been shaved all the way I would have sucked and rolled those delicate balls into my mouth, but hair between the teeth--not my favorite." So LKH can type "balls" but not any other term for male genitals? Curious. "But either he shaved, or didn't need to, above, and that I took in my mouth completely." Wait, do penises...normally have hair, then? I did not think that was the case. In fact I'm sure it isn't. And she talks about "rolling, sucking, licking" his cock in her mouth while it's still soft, without ever saying 'cock' of course, but "he didn't stay small long" meaning his cock starts to get hard. "I was even more healed than I had thought. I hadn't remembered concentrating on using Nicky's energy to heal myself, but apparently it had." Eyerolling so hard at this.
But some of the wounds aren't completely healed so she can't "put him in the sides of my mouth" because his cock will slide over them and she stops to "think about the problem", remind us she's on her knees, and that Nicky is "hard and perfect". He says they can do something else if it hurts too much, Anita decides she'll just try to avoid letting his dick hit the sides of her mouth and gives us the sage wisdom of "If you can't go around a problem, go straight at it, go straight down it." I think this might be very clumsy innuendo that is supposed to be witty in some way but I am not sure. She then spends a paragraph thinking about how she's gonna suck off Nicky without ever actually saying it. Nicky says "God" and that makes me think that wererat guy has walked in, and it snaps Anita out of her thought process about what she's gonna do to him to actually remembering he's right there right now and she notices that his face is "growing frantic". Yeah, I imagine watching her zone completely out in the shower, while the prospect of dick is in her face, is pretty alarming, even for someone used to her typical zone-outs. By now I am pretty much 100% convinced that her thoughts all take place in real-time.
He's got his hair slicked back from his face and she thinks it's the first time she's seen it "so clean and bare." So...his face is usually dirty, then? I think she means she's never seen that much of the scars but the way she phrases it just sounds like he needs to wash his face more often. She talks about how he's handsome and how he's not less so to her "because he wasn't "perfect"; it was Nicky, it was the way he looked, it was him, and I liked it, loved it." Ah, so no wonder Asher had to go; Nicky is all the same Phantom of the Opera fantasy that lets Anita pat herself on the back for being such a saint for finding him attractive and with none of that pesky free will or mind of his own in the way! Also, Anita herself stated to Asher that his scars didn't bother her because what she's into is hair and eyes. So I don't see why her not being bothered by a scarred face is something she feels she should get to brag about. He may not be "perfect" by other standards but if he's "perfect" by her standards--hair and eyes--then, yeah, she's got no room to yammer about how accepting she is. It reminds me of dudes I've encountered who feel like they deserve a medal for being into plus-sized women, and it's like, dude, if that was just automatically your taste anyway then you're not a saint because by coincidence it just happens to go against the grain of the mainstream beauty standard. Speaking of that, Anita also needs a man with no fat and a big dick, so she's more than a hair and eye girl, and Nicky also has that going on, so yeah, he is "perfect" by her standards. She can asspat herself about how accepting she is when she finds someone attractive despite them *not* being her cup of tea physically...oh wait no that will still be obnoxious and offensive as fuck.
She talks about putting his dick in her mouth without saying the d-word, talks about how she's worked on trying to get rid of her gag reflex but that she still has to breathe because she's too dumb to use her nose I guess, and has to "calm my pulse, calm my body, it was almost meditative, to stop my body from panicking that we couldn't breathe past him." We meaning her and her body, I guess? That's an interesting disconnect there. Although I guess 'we' could be 'Anita and LKH' no I am not joking, I think she could totally make that slip while writing this. Then she "drew back off him slowly, and had to cough. My eyes were tearing up, and my nose was beginning to run." Is she allergic to him?! She lets the shower "clean the tears and snot away." I really like this bit, because I like that there's some gross messy un-idealized stuff going on here, especially in regards to sex, especially with Anita herself, but then she ruins that appreciation by lampshading it/LKH patting herself on the back through the text by monologuing in her head about how it's messy like this in real life unlike in the movies. "It was my body trying to get rid of whatever the fuck was down so far, and not being swallowed." Wait, but she hasn't swallowed anything yet? How can her body be sick of semen in her stomach if there is none yet? "The body rebelled against something that large being that far down and not being swallowed. It was like my body was saying, Either swallow, or get it out." The second sentence was unneeded, the first one got across the problem just fine. Which, I now realize, is that Nicky's big dick is making her gag, and that's what caused the tears/snot.
Nicky asks if she's ok, she says fine but has to clear her throat because it's gotten hoarse from the "abuse". He begs her to feed, saying "God" in the process and I again expect God-the-wererat to pop in like yes what? Anita says that "You just want me to use the ardeur because I don't have a gag reflex and get even better at deep-throating once I release it." It still cracks me up so hard how the ardeur takes away her gag reflex. Nicky admits this is the case and "his voice is a little frantic." Dude, what is his deal? Is he gonna freak out if he doesn't get head? Anita decides to do so "as he asked" because I guess we're gonna boomerang back to her having sex she doesn't actually want to after having the only two sex scenes in this book thus far having been consensual (well, consensual until Micah started kiss-gagging her, anyway). And because "I wanted my mouth completely healed" and because she's hungry...she specifically says it's stomach-hungry, not ardeur-hungry, so I guess her logic here is she can't get food unless she blows Nicky? Or she can't eat without her mouth healing, and she'll need to feed the ardeur in order for that to happen? I'm not sure. She also says she must be really hungry if she's noticing this during sex and "it was the kind of hunger that if I didn't fix it, my beasts could rise and look for food on their own, and take my body with them while they did it." So the sensible thing would be to go to the kitchens ASAP and whip up a big ol' shake that won't hurt your mouth and is full of calories, nutrients, and protein, right?
Right?
Oh, no, wait, it's to spend six more pages blowing Nicky in the shower. Possibly more, since that's just until the end of this ten-page chapter, but I haven't read the next chapter, so for all I know she still doesn't go get food in that one either. In fact, I'm going to hazard a guess that she doesn't.
She thinks about how she used to repress the ardeur but now she "has to think about it, find it, call it, unleash it. One minute I was in control, the next the ardeur rode me, and spilled out of my skin and into Nicky." And her gag reflex vanishes and the pain of her mouth wounds now just turns her on because the ardeur makes "everything translated to sex, to want, need, desire." Sounds like the series these days! She "drove him as deep down in my throat as I could", Nicky put his hand on her head, she asks him to hold her against him as she goes down, he says she won't be able to breathe, she says "I'll tap out, then you let me go. I'll breathe again, then go down again." He asks ("made it a question") if she wants him to force her to stay down on him, she says yes, he looks "totally suspicious" which causes her to laugh and says that "I want you to mouth-fuck me, Nicky, and the ardeur will help me to do that." He frowns at her and Anita thinks how funny that is with how they're in the shower and nude and he's "hard and ready" but supposes that "he wanted to make sure this wouldn't come back and bite him later." Anita tells him she's done this with Nathaniel, Asher, and Richard.
Nicky is surprised she's done it with Richard and decides that "if you can do it with him..." and I don't know if that's a comment on his personality or dick size. The ardeur is "like heat spilling across my skin, down my fingertips to find Nicky's thigh and pour over us both". She puts his cock in her mouth and down her throat, and he puts his hand over the back of her head. She even uses one of her hands to make him press his hand harder, go Anita! It's the first fucking involvement she's had in, well, fucking! He takes the hint and presses harder and "at first it was exactly what I wanted" but then she needs to breathe and I still don't understand why she doesn't use her nose. Is it just too clogged with snot? She tries to come off him, he pushes her back down harder, she realizes she's trapped and thinks about how much she gets off on that and part of me appreciates her just acknowledging she likes this stuff and portraying them actually having agreed to do it...but then I remember the plot that's being shoved aside for this. Plus, given LKH's open interest in BDSM and how Anita is her mouthpiece, I have the sudden uncomfy feeling that I might just be reading her journal on coming to terms with liking this herself. And that gives me all the ick. (Not because I have a problem with BDSM but because I have no interest in knowing what LKH or any other real person is doing in the bedroom)
When she starts to panic, she taps against his thigh, and I guess this must be the safeword (SEE, LKH, YOU KNOW NONVERBAL CUES EXIST!) because she waxes on for half a page about how there's so much trust in this and how she has to trust he'll respect it and how "I'd admitted to myself a couple of years ago that part of what I enjoyed was that moment of trust" and how the other person could do something really bad to you but only their choice stopped it and "I liked the moment of not knowing if it was all going to go horribly wrong this time" Sugar, it's never going to go wrong with NICKY, remember? He *can't* hurt you. Also, I feel like the bit about her liking trust is a lingering bit of "but I'm still a good girl!" to throw on top of the "I'm a dark edgy kinky sex goddess" because SEEEE SHE LIKES THE ~TRUST~ OF HER PARTNERS IT'S NOT JUST SEX. And then she thinks about how once she didn't like that she liked that moment of uncertainty but now she's made peace with it and made peace with herself and "I fucking loved it." That's great, hon, that's really great, can we move on to some actual STORY now? You know, there's nothing wrong with just writing porn, but the fact is this book is *supposed* to be a "paranormal thriller" and not just straight erotica (and crappy, boring erotica for the most part at that, in my opinion).
Nicky lets go of her, "let me draw back off his body", she takes a breath and he asks if she's okay. She nods, says they can do it a little more but that not being able to breathe makes the ardeur eventually back off. WHOA, YOU CAN STOP THE ARDEUR BY SUFFOCATION? THIS IS RELEVANT TO MY FANFIC INCLINATIONS! "It does that, when self-preservation is on the line." Veeery interesting. Nicky says "Then we fuck, so you can feed" and Anita says they should "mouth-fuck; with the ardeur I can do that, and I enjoy it, too." Wait, but...mouth-fucking makes you not able to breathe, and that stops the ardeur, that's what literally just happened, what the hell Anita? "He had a moment of indecision on his face so plain it was almost painful." No, that's not indecision, that's bafflement, he can't believe you're this stupid. Nicky tells her that "We'll see how we feel when we get there" which I reckon is all he can say without insulting her. "I agreed, and we went back to our game of deep-throat bondage" and then she deigns to explain to us how this is indeed bondage and "you don't need ropes and chains for bondage, just to be held and not be able to get away." Thanks, never would have been able to fathom that myself, Anita/LKH. God I just hate when she has this total EXPLAINING tone about this stuff, you know? Whether it's about bondage or police work or how such and so isn't like in the movies, something about it just RUFFLES me.
When they've done it "as long as my throat could take" Nicky says that "I want to fuck you again. I love that I'm on your short list of the men you don't make wear a condom." Okay, two things here. That second sentence is pure exposition and it is so awkward, who talks like that? Secondly, this sentence, and what follows after it, suggests that Anita's reasons for having dudes wear condoms with her has nothing to do with preventing pregnancy (I think she knows through LKH that'll never happen, unless LKH one day wants it to and then it will no matter what) but is apparently some weird rung on an intimacy ladder or something. I don't really understand it, but I guess I can't criticize it either since it isn't harmful or cruel. Anyway, this comment causes Anita to go on a loooong internal rant that takes up most of the page. It starts with her telling us how Micah, Nathaniel, and Sin are "on my fluid-bonded list" and that Nicky being on it as well is a recent change. The only other time I encountered the term "fluid-bonding" it was being used in a really gross/insulting way by someone, but Illria kindly explained to me they were an idiot and all it means is just sex with no protection.
She then yammers in her head about being on the pill, and how being "a carrier for lycanthropy" means she can't catch lycanthropy/therianthropy "even if the rough sex bled me" but that she still makes the other dudes wear condoms just in case. Yeah, I reeeally wanted to know all this, it's exactly the sort of information about characters that I'd be hoping to gain if I were a fan---WHO WEARS A CONDOM WITH ANITA? And then she talks about how she recalls that the moment she let Nicky not wear a condom, Nathaniel and Sin were both there but Micah had been out of town OH GOD WHY IS THIS IMPORTANT AT ALL and how "it just seemed natural, but his mentioning it like that made me think about it. I wasn't always good when I thought about things." That last sentence is hilarious because it totally sounds like she's calling herself an idiot. But then again, it's also scary when you think about how one of the themes of this book seems to be insisting Anita is happy and insisting she shut up about any idea to the contrary. And she talks more to us about how when she thinks she tends to start "tearing at my relationships" and wonders if she still sees love as a trap and if she's so "unhealthy, that once a man reminded me of how much he meant to me, I had to fight my way free of it until I destroyed everything?" BECAUSE HE SAYS HE LIKES SHE DOESN'T MAKE HIM WEAR A CONDOM. And she wonders if that's what she's been doing with Sin and wonders if she's about to do it with Nicky.
....it's pretty squicky to me for various reasons that Sin is on this special little "list" by the way.
Nicky says that he can't hear her thoughts, just feel her emotions, "but I don't like that look. It's never good. What did I say wrong?" Nicky is a puppet, complete with a script he's supposed to be following, and he knows he just flubbed his lines. Anita looks at him and thinks about his hair and his face and how "his body was naked and covered in water, so lickable and yummy." Hannibal Lector has nothing on Anita's vore fetish. She thinks about how her throat still aches (but in a happy way!) from the deep-throating and how she's had Nicky for two years and wonders to herself "What did he have to do to prove himself?" SHE WANTS *NICKY* TO *PROVE HIMSELF* TO HER OH GOD WHAT THE FUCK I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN ON HOW LITTLE SENSE THAT IDEA MAKES. "What did anyone have to do to prove themselves to me? Some of the men in my life would have said a hell of a lot." OH FUCK YOU. All of them sans JC and Asher--whom you just booted, perhaps for this very reason--are bound to you against their will, were raped by you, and literally cannot live without you because of said magical bond! Where is this 'prove themselves' shit coming from? They weren't the ones trying to be with you, you were the one who enslaved them! Also, lol at Anita pretending like she has these uber-high standards when it comes to anything but physical appearance. Well, then again, no, she also demands utter obsequiousness and lack of any life outside her.
"I realized that the ardeur had receded" and we get the usual once-at-least-per-book ramble about how once upon a time the ardeur controlled her but now she controls it. And she tells us how if she doesn't feed the ardeur then it decreases her super-healing and she'll also start to drain energy from Nathaniel and Damian, then, once they're dead, Richard and Jean-Claude. That's....kind of odd to me that her other Therian Servants plus her Bride don't get drained before Richard and JC, since her bond with JC is one where she is the subordinate, not the master, and her bond with Richard through him seems to be an equal one? But she claims it was JC who "explained the metaphysical math to me" so my headcanon is that he lied and decided to tell her it would kill him right after Nathaniel because he knows they're harem members she actually 'cares' about whereas she colossally doesn't give a shit about her other Therian Servants. Likewise, if she loses Damian she loses bragging points about having the first ever Vampire Servant, and if she loses Richard then she can't drag him through the mud anymore. "I'd forgotten the ardeur was like your stomach; just because you could teach yourself not to want to eat didn't mean your body didn't need the food." How does LKH not realize Anita has an eating disorder? Same way she doesn't realize she's a serial rapist and rape victim, I guess.
And after all this inner rambling (and still not answering Nicky) "I still needed to feed" but it's not longer uncontrollable and "I had more choices now. I couldn't blame the ardeur for the sex I was having. The ardeur put some of the men on my plate" CUZ THEY'RE FOOD SEE? "but what I did with them was me." Okay, good. Now that you're at this point, you can take responsibility for having destroyed their free wills and personalities in whole or in part, go about trying to fix it, and NOT HAVE ANYMORE SEX WITH THEM BECAUSE THEIR CONSENT IS IMPAIRED."I tried to decide how I felt about that." Probably very avoidant, I expect. Anyway, it's been a full page now and she hasn't answered Nicky, so he says "Anita?" and "made it a question" (OH MY GOD I HATE IT WHEN SHE SPECIFIES SOMEONE 'MADE IT A QUESTION' WHEN THE QUESTION MARK IS RIGHT THERE ON THE DAMN PAGE) and "his face was closing down" HIS HEAD IS COLLAPSING?! "drawing away from me, putting his defenses back in place. He'd been made into a sociopath, which meant some of the emotions were in there. I didn't want him to put them away again." Well then he won't, I'm sure, since your desires literally control him! "I liked the glimpses I got of his heart." That would be so romantic, I'm sure, if not for the context of the whole Bride thing and also how much I hate her talking like she knows shit about sociopaths. I think there's a good chance my brother is a sociopath, he meets a lot of the criteria for Antisocial Personality Disorder, at least as defined by the DSM-IV-TR. I'd like her to meet him. He's gross. He's not cool. He's a loser. He's a mean, manipulative, very stupid loser, and from what little I know of sociopaths, that's how most of them end up. It's not romantic, it's fucking sad.
After this romantic reflection, she tells him to fuck her. He asks what, she says fuck me, he smiles "with an almost disturbing happiness" with "the sense there was darkness inside." I GET IT. MEN ARE ~DARK~ WHEN THEY HAVE SEX AND NICKY IS A 'SOCIOPATH' SO HE'S EXTRA ~DARK~ I GET THAT HE IS A 'SOCIOPATH' ALRIGHT?! Ugh, the only thing worse than when something is only told and never shown is when it's TOLD OVER AND OVER and still never shown. And she talks about how Nicky has darkness in him that always wants out and it gets to come out and play "dark games" with her. "He let me see the happy monster inside him" BECAUSE SHE'S SPECIAL AND ONLY SHE CAN HANDLE THIS! "It had nothing to do with his beast" CUZ HE'S A SOCIOPATH...WHO HAS DONE ZERO ACTUAL SHIT ON-SCREEN. EVEN WHEN HE HAD ANITA AT GUN-POINT. "It was all human, just most people didn't like to admit it." What other people? No, seriously, we've never seen Nicky interact with anyone else since what Anita did to him. We've caught the tail end of him flirting with a blonde in Hit List, but that's it. And his aforementioned interactions before Anita mind-raped him were just being ordered around by Jacob and squabbling with him over Anita. "Nicky didn't mind. Nathaniel didn't mind. Dev didn't mind. And because they didn't mind, I was beginning not to mind either." Yeah, who cares he killed two Pride members behind your back?
She says "Fuck me" again and "He didn't make me ask again."
THERE IS ANOTHER CHAPTER OF THIS?!
*checks*
THERE IS ANOTHER CHAPTER!
UGGGGH
Okay, small blessings, it's only three pages, so I'm just gonna knock it out with this spork.
"Nicky picked me up again, and I wrapped myself around him like a monkey" Such erotic imagery. He pushes her against the shower wall, which takes an entire paragraph to do, "to try for the hardest, deepest thrust he could get from this angle." Anita then talks a lot about "not every man could do good wall sex" and how fit you have to be for it. Nicky "found a hard, fast rhythm, going in and out of me" and it feels really good. "He was going so hard and fast that my body began to bump and scrape against the wall. The tiles were smooth but it was still a near-bruising rhythm, and I loved it. " It's hard to hold on because it feels so good (wow, probably the most work Anita ever actually does during sex!) and he tells her to feed because "I won't have another time in me" after this, and instead of just doing what he says, Anita thinks how "that he admitted it said just how much effort even Nicky was having to expend to do wall sex this forcefully." Anita says yes, Nicky asks in his "exercise-rich voice" if she means "yes, yes great sex, or you heard me?" and she says she heard him and he pauses, then starts pounding again, and Anita claims she is "helping him fuck me against the slick cool/warmth of the tiles" just by holding on. Well, I guess technically dropping off his dick would be unhelpful. Also "cool/warmth" is the most awkward lazy description.
He shudders and gasps "Soon, real soon", she says she heard him and tells us more how hard it is to hold on "at his shoulders and waist." and "I realized that I'd put the ardeur away again, that it had just been me and Nicky against the wall." Um, yes, that's been obvious, since you've had to be told to let it loose, meaning it's not already there yet? Also, how does she NOT NOTICE that she is MAKING HER OWN CHOICES for once? So she has the call the ardeur, "and suddenly I was all heat and need" instead of just all need like usual I guess. Nicky makes some sex exclamations, and I think he comes, "and I fed. I fed on the feel of him inside me, the spill of him inside me." and then there's a whole paragraph of the same, I fed on his hands on my thigh and hip, I fed on his eyes closed, etc. "He put one hand on the wall, and then were were sliding down to his knees." Wait, what? How does that work? "And then his head bowed, and he began to slump to the side, and I knew something was wrong." He then falls "completely limp" to the floor, his skin is cool to the touch, and she can't find a pulse in his neck so she screams for help.
If he's lucky, he's dead.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2014-03-03 06:58 pm (UTC)I...what? I thought the comment before this one meant his balls, but what the hell does this mean? If it is about foreskin, it's the oddest, most roundabout way to describe it ever. If he's hard, then the foreskin retracts behind the head. If he's soft, where's this underneath hardness coming from? Plus, isn't Nicky from the US? Because most US and Canadian guys his age (thirty-one, according to Affliction) are circumcised. The percentages drop every year, but thirty years ago it was standard. Where is this loose skin? Also, what does his not shaving have to do with the smooth skin? Because I don't think anyone describes fuzzy skin as smooth. So many questions.
Wait, do penises...normally have hair, then? I did not think that was the case. In fact I'm sure it isn't.
Some guys do have some hair on the shaft. Haven't seen it myself but I've heard about it. I'm not 100% convinced that's what she's trying to bring across, though. Of course I'm not 100% certain this is even really in English. It could be just some sort of alien language that looks strangely similar.
Anita also needs a man with no fat and a big dick,
Also lily-white! At least if she's going to "love" them.
I wasn't always good when I thought about things."
That should be pasted in red letters across the cover of every one of the latter-day books.
I hate her talking like she knows shit about sociopaths
This, this, fucking THIS. My best friends were married to one each - one got the nasty and stupid but a terrific liar kind (which is how he tricked her into marrying him- by pretending to be a great guy and then turning into an asshole when the paperwork was done) and the other got the extremely intelligent humans-are-my-toy type who spent several years breaking her down and making her feel like she deserved it. There was and is nothing admirable about either of them. LKH does not understand the difference between sociopathy and calculated ruthlessness, and she romanticizes them both and it is fucking maddening.
I am sorry to hear about your brother, btw.
"I was even more healed than I had thought. I hadn't remembered concentrating on using Nicky's energy to heal myself, but apparently it had."
She can't even make the decision to heal herself, it has to be done by Teh MAgicxcks. Feh.
If he's lucky, he's dead.
Nobody gets away from Anita that easily. :/
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Date: 2014-03-03 08:29 pm (UTC)I also don't see what shaving has to do with it. The way it's written, she wouldn't be licking him if he shaved. I wonder if LKH knows what the word "so" means. Nothing about this scene makes sense.
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Date: 2014-03-03 08:48 pm (UTC)Also the image of hairy balls and no pubic hair on the belly or around the penis is hilarious to me for some reason. It's like Nicky has an Amish beard on his genitalia.
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Date: 2014-03-03 11:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-03-03 11:09 pm (UTC)O_O
O_O
O_O
...and I thought the Amish Batch Beard was the weirdest mental image I was going to have all day.
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Date: 2014-03-04 12:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-03-03 07:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-03-04 01:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-03-04 01:28 am (UTC)EDIT: She can't say "vagina", either. Goodness knows it was shocking when she mentioned "clitoral orgasms", though she still doesn't refer to the actual body part as a clitoris. Just a "sweet spot" or somesuch.
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Date: 2014-03-04 02:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-03-03 09:04 pm (UTC)No. I guess men may have stray hair there, but I've never known one to, and my husband is an incredibly hairy guy. I can't imagine balls having enough hair on them to cause a hair-in-teeth problem, either. Also, Anita dwelling on how she doesn't like hair in her teeth is the opposite of sexy. And no one enjoys having hair in their teeth, but they do stuff that might lead to it anyway because it gives their partner pleasure. That it's enough to stop Anita from doing something entirely shows that she is not this amazing sex goddess everyone around her claims she is. Plus I think she'd be more in danger from the ludicrous amount of hair on her harem's heads than the little bit on their crotches.
Anita decides she'll just try to avoid letting his dick hit the sides of her mouth
Either Anita has a very big mouth or Nicky has a very small penis. Probably both.
she still has to breathe because she's too dumb to use her nose I guess
You can't entirely breathe through your nose while giving a blowjob. Well, I can't. The air needs are too much. It's sort of like trying to breathe entirely through your nose while playing a flute.
Which, I now realize, is that Nicky's big dick is making her gag
She is terrible at giving blowjobs. You don't have to deepthroat the thing, and if it's making you sick and miserable, you don't try. I've never deepthroated in my life and I've never had any complaints. I think I would have had complaints if I'd barfed on a guy's crotch.
I liked the moment of not knowing if it was all going to go horribly wrong this time
O_o. That's not trust. That's using sex as a proxy for extreme sports. Anita should take up bungie jumping.
Anita then talks a lot about "not every man could do good wall sex" and how fit you have to be for it.
As usual, LKH is wrong. You do not have to be terribly fit for good wall sex.
that he admitted it said just how much effort even Nicky was having to expend to do wall sex this forcefully
Anita really has to be jackhammered hard to feel anything at all, doesn't she? How sad. And not sex goddessy.
helping him fuck me
I hate this construction. Anita is fucking Nicky as much as he is fucking her. It's yet one more example of how LKH thinks you have to have a dick to do anything during sex, and how the dick is everything and all.
If he's lucky, he's dead.
I think the little bit of his subconscious that's still his own killed him. Too bad it won't last.
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Date: 2014-03-04 09:33 pm (UTC)O_o. That's not trust. That's using sex as a proxy for extreme sports. Anita should take up bungie jumping.
Yeaaah that's what I took away from that comment too. Surely if there's so much trust and whatnot as she claims, you wouldn't have any doubts about things going horribly wrong because you're with someone that would, y'know, not want that to happen. And even if things did go wrong, they'd be sensible enough to stop/give good aftercare.
Because surely with the types of people and things that Anita likes to do, "horribly wrong" = "dying." And that's before we get to the mystical whatsiting of ardeur/beasts/bonds etc.
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Date: 2014-03-04 11:10 pm (UTC)And all of this BECAUSE SHE HAS A FERVENT KINK FOR CHOKING ON DICK?!
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Date: 2014-03-05 08:44 am (UTC)And then I remember 50 Shades of Grey's popularity and I realise that there is no god.
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Date: 2014-03-05 03:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-03-05 08:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-03-05 02:03 pm (UTC)Tl;dr: LKH frightens me.
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Date: 2014-03-06 05:21 pm (UTC)If it "going horribly wrong" is an actual prospect for her, how is she some sort of sex goddess? Isn't that kind of...contradictory?
helping him fuck me
I hate this construction. Anita is fucking Nicky as much as he is fucking her. It's yet one more example of how LKH thinks you have to have a dick to do anything during sex, and how the dick is everything and all.
It's also another way for Anita to say she's involved without actually taking responsibility for having sex. Especially sex that isn't missionary, and therefore "dirtier." >_>
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Date: 2014-03-04 01:26 am (UTC)I'm pretty sure she's done this before. It's an extension of her beasts being separate from her, even though they really are her, or... something.
She's both condescending and disconnected about simple things. I don't know why.
/It still cracks me up so hard how the ardeur takes away her gag reflex. /
I'm just surprised she hasn't gone on about how it makes her vagina simultaneously larger and wetter and tighter. (She might have in The Harlequin, I don't know. I always trust LKH to surpass my own... expectations of her competence.)
If it ever combines with her hyena therianthrophy to give her a weredong, I'm going to say that I called it. -_-
/She nods, says they can do it a little more but that not being able to breathe makes the ardeur eventually back off. WHOA, YOU CAN STOP THE ARDEUR BY SUFFOCATION? THIS IS RELEVANT TO MY FANFIC INCLINATIONS! "It does that, when self-preservation is on the line." Veeery interesting./
NITPICK!
So ANITA says. Jean-Claude deliberately activated it in Bullet under severe metaphysical assault, and the resulting orgy led to injuries that ordinarily would have been life-threatening or fatal without the magic sex mojo going on.
That implies that it should be possible to force the ardeur to override self-preservation considerations - if you wanted to do so. This just points further towards the ardeur being completely under Anita's control and any 'lack of control' being her lying through her teeth. As uaul.
/"What did he have to do to prove himself?" SHE WANTS *NICKY* TO *PROVE HIMSELF* TO HER OH GOD WHAT THE FUCK I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN ON HOW LITTLE SENSE THAT IDEA MAKES./
Anita is so screwed up this actually makes sense. Since even SHE doesn't know what she wants, she's indirectly wondering what the hell her sock puppet has to do to fulfill her desires.
And so we learn that the reason for Anita never masturbating on-screen isn't that she's prudish about it, it's that she literally doesn't know how to get herself off. :P
/ We've caught the tail end of him flirting with a blonde in Hit List, but that's it./
*GASP*
But don't you know that's the epitome of EVIL and DARKNESS and ABOMINATION!? He showed possible ATTRACTION AND LIKING for a BLONDE! I bet she was tall and leggy too! WHAT A SICK FUCK! Clearly Anita needed to mind-rape him! You have NO IDEA what he could have done otherwise! He - he - he might even have had SEX with one! And LIKED it!
And if Edward can get married, then he might even have MARRIED one! Dear heavens, Sporking Rat, don't you have any idea what horrors might have resulted?! They might have had tall, blonde children! ESTROGEN-RICH ones, even! He'd spread the plague of tall blondeness across the world! NOOOOOOOOOO!
Anita mind-raped him to save us all!
/"Nicky picked me up again, and I wrapped myself around him like a monkey" Such erotic imagery. /
OOK OOK!
/Also, how does she NOT NOTICE that she is MAKING HER OWN CHOICES for once? /
Because LKH can't believe her character would ever make her own choices, and so had to wait for a bit for the shock to settle in? :P
/If he's lucky, he's dead. /
Not for long, alas... D|
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Date: 2014-03-04 06:04 am (UTC)2. And now I think this means Nick not only isn't circumcised, but he has a foreskin that is a bit too long and extends past the head of his penis creating what looks like a mini nuclear mushroom cloud. Thanks for that.
3. Whoa, LKH will go into detail about rolling balls in her mouth but not say cock, pussy, vagina, or dick? Or clit? WHAT?
4. Well, no. But it's possible he trims the pubic hair so it's not a massive bush of unruly proportions. Which apparently Anita and LKH don't realize guys do. Which is stupid considering an ex-husband, a husband and a boyfriend.
5. OR YOU COULD FUCKING FEED THE ARDEUR AND HEAL THE REST OF THE WAY YOU TWIT.
6. Actually, by Anita's standards--hair and eyes--Nick isn't perfect. He only has one eye. And it's just blue, not technicolor, an animal's, or purple.
7. Bitch, I learned to use my nose in 1st grade. Our teacher would only let us get a drink at the water fountain for as long as we could drink without stopping. I learned real quick to breathe in through my nose with the water running over my lips so it looked like I wasn't stopping so I could get more.
8. And now I'm thinking that the ardeur is going to work SO WELL that she's going to mouthfuck him so his semen shoots down, the epiglottis doesn't close, and he ends up blowing his load into her lungs. OH MY GOD SHE'D DROWN BY SPOOGE PLEASE WRITE THIS
9. Anita? Participating in sex?! HOLD ME WHILE I FAINT CLUTCHING MY PEARLS
10. WHY IS THE CHILD ON THE LIST?! THAT IS SO SO GROSS.
11. Because LKH doesn't really realize that she might have one herself. What with the "I ATE A SLICE OF PIZZA, WOE IS I" post a few weeks back.
12. Monkey is better than a koala. At least I am thinking of Gorilla by Bruno Mars and not either a cute koala clinging to its mom, or a male one howling.
13. Haha she fed him into cardiac arrest? OH MY GOD SHE FED FROM HIM TO DEATH. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
No, I know better. DAMMIT.no subject
Date: 2014-03-04 05:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-03-04 07:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-03-04 09:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-03-05 12:53 am (UTC)