BULLET, CHAPTER 26
May. 2nd, 2013 10:35 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
a_sporking_ratI'm on Chapter 44 right now. The first paragraph is about how piss-scared the vampire world is, how they're now willing to turn to JC, etc. The last paragraph emphasizes how time is of the essence, they've got about six hours to get their sh*t together and kick some MOAD ass...but right after the first paragraph it says "But as usual with Jean-Claude and the vampire world, the next step involved a party" and the rest of the chapter before that last paragraph is all about Anita getting dressed up fancy and hating it and what Cardinal and Meng Die and Micah are wearing. WHAT THE EFF. HOW DID ANY VAMPIRES SURVIVE AT ALL IF THIS IS THEIR MODUS OPERANDI. HOW. Well, at least this is canon support for the fancy mixer party in Sue vs Sue. They will clearly throw one over anything, especially when it makes the LEAST sense to do so.
Speaking of future chapters...I have a new favorite character! SPOILER TIME: When they're meeting all the tiger clans, Anita whips the sh*t out of three female tigers. First she dominates one named Julia who dared challenge her/touch Victor (the white tiger prince she boned in Skin Trade). Then she uses sex to take jade, a black tiger sent by a bad Harlequin as a spy and make her one of her harem. And then...she gets in a fight with Reba. Reba. Is. Awesome! She's daughter of the red tiger queen, and she says Anita is just a survivor, not a true queen, not anything, just a human! She tells the red tiger men not to her bewitch them! And then when Anita tackles her, she's all "Are you going to fuck me? Is that all they know how to do in St. Louis?" BADASS LADY ALERT!
Of course, as it turns out, she's a totally weak weretiger who can't partial shift, doesn't deserve to be queen, etc. *eyeroll* And she's criticized for knowing how to use a knife to make up for that. As with Bibi and Julia, I am getting entirely tired of how LKH claims this species is matriarchal, women have the power, etc., yet are repeatedly shown as ineffective and easily defeated. Even jade is said to be omigod sooooo powerful but she has to be dominated and then rescued from her master by Anita and does eff-all herself and is describe as fragile, wounded, etc. (Also her defeat of Julia is really creepily rapey, of course, talking about how she straddles her on the floor and "thrust the power into her" and stuff...this is why you're not allowed a real penis, Anita. Speaking of penises, she has to have Domino doing her from behind while she kinda grinds on Jade. because CAN'T GET TOO GHEY NAO CAN WE?)
Yeah, Reba is going in Lucy's harem. So is Julia. BELONG TO A *REAL* MATRIARCHY, LADIES! Of course, Reba doesn't want to bow to Anita, so I doubt she'll be willing to bow to Lucille...oh, this could get interesting.
BULLET, CHAPTER 26
Anita goes to Nathaniel's bedside and says that in the Circus there are "a series of rooms that had been made into hospital beds". She mentions that "human hospitals didn't always like treating lycanthropes." and that she misses windows. "I'd gotten my hysterics out of the way." Having emotions over having killed someone and someone you love almost being killed are just hysterics! Nathaniel smiles at her and "I regretted having to kill Haven the way I did, but I couldn't regret him being dead. He'd shot Nathaniel. He'd meant to take that smile, those eyes, and the hand in mine away from me forever." Wait, so your issues isn't so much he tried to kill someone you love so much as he tried to take them from you? I know it's the same thing, but the way she words it suggests the issue isn't 'Nathaniel would be dead' so much as 'I wouldn't have my Nathaniel anymore' and that's a big difference. Also, what happened to the reason she killed Haven being because of Noel's sacrifice?
Nathaniel tells her that he's sorry she had to kill Haven, she says it's okay, he says its not, she says it is what it is, he asks if "Do you want me to let you be all macho about this?" and she says she had her breakdown earlier, to which he replies that he's sorry he wasn't there to help. With any other character I'd rage about Anita being first-priority even when they themselves have been shot, but for Nathaniel that actually makes sense. It's a pity there's no reflection from Anita about how this shows he still has a long way to go in terms of psychological repair, though, which makes me wonder if LKH even realizes how he sounds or if she just thinks it's normal at this point for Anita to be the #1 Concern for everyone no matter what now.
There is a knock at the door and Damian comes in. Anita thinks for a second about how "alone in my mind and emotions" she is and how that feels weird now. Does that mean she isn't feeling her connection to all her slaves, or...? I'm not really sure. She quickly moves on to describing that Damian "had changed into his favorite robe" which is a "Victorian smoking jacket except it came down to his ankles" and she thinks he's worn this robe for hundred of years and it's a "comfort object" to him like "a certain toy penguin" is to her. OH MY GOD SHE REMEMBERS SIGMUND! Oh and "his red hair was dry". So important! He's carrying a tray of food. Anita tells us that "I so wasn't hungry" and when Damian tells her she has to eat she tells him "I so don't want food, Damian." The food is "croissants, various cheeses, and fruit. It looked like enough food for all of us, if Damian could eat solid food." Well damn, that sounds delicious to me, but Anita just demands more coffee.
Damian explains to her (and it's facepalm-inducing that she needs this explained, since isn't it something she already should know would be the case?) that "Nathaniel is drawing on us to heal himself. If you want him to heal quickly, and with no scar" because god forbid anyone have any physical imperfections that aren't Asher-style dramatic-overscarring Phantom of the Opera angst "we need the energy to feed him. You and I will have to eat more so Nathaniel doesn't drain us."
Simple, right?
It turns out not to be.
Nathaniel offers to "try to stop taking so much energy from the two of you" and Anita tells him no, that "I'll eat, but I'd really like the coffee first." Damian tells her to eat a certain amount and then she can have coffee. She replies with a frown and "Yes, Daddy" which might be funny coming from another person in another situation, but coming from Anita, it just sounds skeevily sexual, and also YOU ARE EATING TO HEAL NATHANIEL. HE IS DRAINING YOU TWO BY THE SECOND. AND WITH THE MOAD ON THE LOOSE, YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO BE DOWN ON YOUR ENERGY! Damian says that "I could have brought sausage. Protein will help him heal the fastest and give us the most energy. I was nice, bringing something light." Are you fucking serious? You're risking not healing Nathaniel and/or the very life energy of yourself and Anita because Miss Priss doesn't want to eat meat right now?
Anita thanks him, he looks suspicious, she says "Don't look so suspicious. You're right and I'm admitting it." Anita doing THAT is totally reason for suspicion. He says that "You don't usually give in this fast" and Anita says that she wants everyone well and then takes a bite of a strawberry and it's really good and makes her realize she's a lot hungrier than she thought...but she ends up asking for coffee only "two strawberries and half a croissant later." Dude, that is NOT a lot of calories, and Damian said no coffee until you ate a whole croissant. Usually I wouldn't advocate a grown person being bossed around like this, I swear, but it's made ridiculously clear that Anita needs it. However, Damian just smiles at her and gives her a coffee mug and we get AN ENTIRE FUCKING PARAGRAPH about this damn mug and the penguins on it and the clever saying on it and how "Micah had found it for me on one of his business trips" (WHAT THE FLIP DOES MICAH DO FOR A LIVING?) and how "everyone who could drink coffee" Could? Are there a lot of coffee-intolerant therians around here or something? Oh, wait, she means excluding vampires I guess "had their travel mugs, or used the generic ones that matched the red and black plates. The Kitchen was too far away from some of the rooms, so ways to keep hot things hot were important." Important and IRRELEVANT. Like, it's nice that LKH has thought up these little details about the Circus, it really is, and it does make it feel like a place where a lot of people really are residing. It's just that the information is coming in at a time where it's not really something that the reader feels the need for a paragraph for right now. Or at least, I sure don't. I would like the plot to just get the hell on already.
"I sipped the coffee, closing my eyes so the smell and taste of it could have their way with me." Even coffee has to be talked about sexually.
Damian says "That's better" and his robe gapes a little and we get a paragraph about his skin. He tells her that he's taken blood, and now her job is to eat solid food. Because I guess she needs reminding even though he told her that just last page. She just goes on sipping her coffee though, while holding Nathaniel's hand. Dammit, Anita, if you actually give a shit about him, drop his hand and start stuffing your face. Then Damian touches Nathaniel too and Anita can feel "power breathed through us" and a bunch of blahblah about their energies mingling, and she can feel from the pain in her should that "whatever the doctors had done to fix the wound had cost Nathaniel other pain." What does THAT mean?
Then it stops because Damian took his hand away from Nathaniel and he tells Anita that "You're our master, Anita; you have to get better at controlling this." Darn tootin'! Wait, energy going gaga when they touch ISN'T supposed to happen if she's in-control? But didn't it do the same when she was touching her other triumvirate earlier and it was a good thing and not a sign she lacked control? He tells her that he knows a lot of shit has gone down and he's sorry about Haven and Noel "but you can't afford to retreat from your psychic abilities like this." Anita starts to get pissed and says she's doing the best she can. Can I remind you all of that chapter in Flirt where Nicky asks "So, because you have to control it, you just do?" and Anita's like "Yup". Granted, they were talking about something else in Anita's superpower arsenal, but since then I've been suspicious of any and all of Anita's claims that she's really truly trying to control her powers when they do something they shouldn't.
Nathaniel says they know she's trying, and looking at him calms her down and reminds her that Nathaniel being alive means "nothing could be bad today." She apologizes to them both and then says "I'm just tired, but I shouldn't be. We were passed out for hours." Damian tells her that passed out is not the same as sleeping and that "you're more than just tired." I can't tell you if the former is true or not, but I can tell you that Anita proves she's dumb once again by asking what the latter means and he has to tell her that she needs to eat some more and then have a nap for a couple of hours. Anita makes the logical point that "we're trying to stay ahead of some of the most powerful vampires in the world. I don't have time for a nap." and Damian counters with the even more logical point that if she pushes herself Nathaniel won't heal right and she'll start draining Damian. "You can't do your usual, Anita. Not eating, not sleeping, just pushing." She shouldn't do her usual anyway. That's no way for an ordinary person to live, let alone someone who is supposed to be staying strong against supernatural assaults and who has all these people metaphysically tied to them that they will start to drain under those circumstances.
Nathaniel laughs, and Anita asks why and Nathaniel says "It's just I've heard this conversation a lot over the last year. You'll argue, Damian or I will push, and you'll finally take care of yourself. Can't you, just this once, give in now?" Over the last fucking YEAR? Look, I know a lot of people do have problems remembering to take care of themselves in these basic ways for various reasons. I've been one. But when I was, I didn't have people whose well-being literally depended on me eating and sleeping right and who had spent a YEAR trying to make me. Anita doesn't come across here as 'flawed, but finally improving' on this issue. It comes across her being incredibly selfish and callous to a rather terrifying point. Especially since she doesn't seem to have any REASON for not eating properly. She's not depressed or nervous or anorexic, she doesn't have some kind of physical condition that causes it or makes it unpleasant for her to eat or digest, we know she's sure as hell not dieting given her views on that, and while she did sometimes forget to eat or in the earlier novels it was always while she was working a case or something similar, and she didn't do it as much at all. In fact, it didn't become an issue UNTIL she got these guys dependent on her eating. That kind of creeps me out and makes me wonder if this is all just an act and she in fact is deliberately 'forgetting to eat/working too hard to eat/etc.' so that she'll start to drain them and they'll be reminded of their dependance on her and have to come begging her to just eat a damn croissant. Honestly, given LKH's apparent obsession with total control (as evident by the creepiness with Nicky) I would not be surprised if this is why LKH is writing these scenes.
Nathaniel looks like he's in pain, so Anita agrees to finish her food "and then what do you want me to do?" Damian and Nathaniel are shocked, and the former says again that he's not used to her giving in this soon. He tells her to eat and he'll go asks the doctor what to do next. Anita asks "Am I really that big a pain in the ass?" and Damian says "Yes" while Nathaniel says "You can be."
UNGH FUCK YES! I mean, I realize this was supposed to be cutesy, especially with how Damian and Nathaniel answered in unison, but I think this might be the closest we get to a call-out of Anita that DOESN'T get shut down or brushed off as the whinings of a jealous hater. I really hope readers aren't supposed to be impressed with Anita for finally giving a shit enough to EAT SOME DAMN FOOD AND TAKE A NAP when the well-being of a loved one and quite possibly the fate of supernatural America depends on her doing these things. The fact that Damian expected there to be an argument, and even had to take a whole chapter to talk to her at all in order to get her to do these things, says enough. Honestly, I'm just more frustrated than anything else that THIS is what counts for "progress" with this woman.
Anita says that the Vegas tigers should have arrived in St. Louis by now, and Damian says they have but that "Jean-Claude filled them in on what's been happening. They're calling the other tiger clans to try to get as many to St. Louis as quickly as possible." Doubtlessly to fuck Anita. "Get some rest for a couple of hours before you have to start working with the tigers." AND ANITA ASKS WHAT DOES THAT MEAN OH GOD THAT PHRASE NOW OUTDOES 'FLAVOR' IN MY MOST-HATED LIST. Next book I swear I will be keeping a fucking tally of it along with holding and group hugs. Damian tells her not to worry about it right now (yup, she's definitely gonna be boning them) and to just eat, sleep, and "stop being such a pain in the ass". And then he leaves. "I thought of a lot of things to say, but they all sounded petty, so I ate my food" poor baby, having to have a delicious breakfast when you're hungry! "and tried not to be a pain in the ass." Only Anita would have to actively TRY to avoid being a pain in the ass just while having some fruit and cheese. "I think every man in my life, and most of the women" what women? "would say it wasn't one of my best things." So she's fully aware that she's a pain in the ass but never has done anything to try to change that. Am I supposed to like this woman? Find this spunky and cute and tough? I don't know, but I think I am.
I just want to kick her in the face instead though.
Speaking of future chapters...I have a new favorite character! SPOILER TIME: When they're meeting all the tiger clans, Anita whips the sh*t out of three female tigers. First she dominates one named Julia who dared challenge her/touch Victor (the white tiger prince she boned in Skin Trade). Then she uses sex to take jade, a black tiger sent by a bad Harlequin as a spy and make her one of her harem. And then...she gets in a fight with Reba. Reba. Is. Awesome! She's daughter of the red tiger queen, and she says Anita is just a survivor, not a true queen, not anything, just a human! She tells the red tiger men not to her bewitch them! And then when Anita tackles her, she's all "Are you going to fuck me? Is that all they know how to do in St. Louis?" BADASS LADY ALERT!
Of course, as it turns out, she's a totally weak weretiger who can't partial shift, doesn't deserve to be queen, etc. *eyeroll* And she's criticized for knowing how to use a knife to make up for that. As with Bibi and Julia, I am getting entirely tired of how LKH claims this species is matriarchal, women have the power, etc., yet are repeatedly shown as ineffective and easily defeated. Even jade is said to be omigod sooooo powerful but she has to be dominated and then rescued from her master by Anita and does eff-all herself and is describe as fragile, wounded, etc. (Also her defeat of Julia is really creepily rapey, of course, talking about how she straddles her on the floor and "thrust the power into her" and stuff...this is why you're not allowed a real penis, Anita. Speaking of penises, she has to have Domino doing her from behind while she kinda grinds on Jade. because CAN'T GET TOO GHEY NAO CAN WE?)
Yeah, Reba is going in Lucy's harem. So is Julia. BELONG TO A *REAL* MATRIARCHY, LADIES! Of course, Reba doesn't want to bow to Anita, so I doubt she'll be willing to bow to Lucille...oh, this could get interesting.
BULLET, CHAPTER 26
Anita goes to Nathaniel's bedside and says that in the Circus there are "a series of rooms that had been made into hospital beds". She mentions that "human hospitals didn't always like treating lycanthropes." and that she misses windows. "I'd gotten my hysterics out of the way." Having emotions over having killed someone and someone you love almost being killed are just hysterics! Nathaniel smiles at her and "I regretted having to kill Haven the way I did, but I couldn't regret him being dead. He'd shot Nathaniel. He'd meant to take that smile, those eyes, and the hand in mine away from me forever." Wait, so your issues isn't so much he tried to kill someone you love so much as he tried to take them from you? I know it's the same thing, but the way she words it suggests the issue isn't 'Nathaniel would be dead' so much as 'I wouldn't have my Nathaniel anymore' and that's a big difference. Also, what happened to the reason she killed Haven being because of Noel's sacrifice?
Nathaniel tells her that he's sorry she had to kill Haven, she says it's okay, he says its not, she says it is what it is, he asks if "Do you want me to let you be all macho about this?" and she says she had her breakdown earlier, to which he replies that he's sorry he wasn't there to help. With any other character I'd rage about Anita being first-priority even when they themselves have been shot, but for Nathaniel that actually makes sense. It's a pity there's no reflection from Anita about how this shows he still has a long way to go in terms of psychological repair, though, which makes me wonder if LKH even realizes how he sounds or if she just thinks it's normal at this point for Anita to be the #1 Concern for everyone no matter what now.
There is a knock at the door and Damian comes in. Anita thinks for a second about how "alone in my mind and emotions" she is and how that feels weird now. Does that mean she isn't feeling her connection to all her slaves, or...? I'm not really sure. She quickly moves on to describing that Damian "had changed into his favorite robe" which is a "Victorian smoking jacket except it came down to his ankles" and she thinks he's worn this robe for hundred of years and it's a "comfort object" to him like "a certain toy penguin" is to her. OH MY GOD SHE REMEMBERS SIGMUND! Oh and "his red hair was dry". So important! He's carrying a tray of food. Anita tells us that "I so wasn't hungry" and when Damian tells her she has to eat she tells him "I so don't want food, Damian." The food is "croissants, various cheeses, and fruit. It looked like enough food for all of us, if Damian could eat solid food." Well damn, that sounds delicious to me, but Anita just demands more coffee.
Damian explains to her (and it's facepalm-inducing that she needs this explained, since isn't it something she already should know would be the case?) that "Nathaniel is drawing on us to heal himself. If you want him to heal quickly, and with no scar" because god forbid anyone have any physical imperfections that aren't Asher-style dramatic-overscarring Phantom of the Opera angst "we need the energy to feed him. You and I will have to eat more so Nathaniel doesn't drain us."
Simple, right?
It turns out not to be.
Nathaniel offers to "try to stop taking so much energy from the two of you" and Anita tells him no, that "I'll eat, but I'd really like the coffee first." Damian tells her to eat a certain amount and then she can have coffee. She replies with a frown and "Yes, Daddy" which might be funny coming from another person in another situation, but coming from Anita, it just sounds skeevily sexual, and also YOU ARE EATING TO HEAL NATHANIEL. HE IS DRAINING YOU TWO BY THE SECOND. AND WITH THE MOAD ON THE LOOSE, YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO BE DOWN ON YOUR ENERGY! Damian says that "I could have brought sausage. Protein will help him heal the fastest and give us the most energy. I was nice, bringing something light." Are you fucking serious? You're risking not healing Nathaniel and/or the very life energy of yourself and Anita because Miss Priss doesn't want to eat meat right now?
Anita thanks him, he looks suspicious, she says "Don't look so suspicious. You're right and I'm admitting it." Anita doing THAT is totally reason for suspicion. He says that "You don't usually give in this fast" and Anita says that she wants everyone well and then takes a bite of a strawberry and it's really good and makes her realize she's a lot hungrier than she thought...but she ends up asking for coffee only "two strawberries and half a croissant later." Dude, that is NOT a lot of calories, and Damian said no coffee until you ate a whole croissant. Usually I wouldn't advocate a grown person being bossed around like this, I swear, but it's made ridiculously clear that Anita needs it. However, Damian just smiles at her and gives her a coffee mug and we get AN ENTIRE FUCKING PARAGRAPH about this damn mug and the penguins on it and the clever saying on it and how "Micah had found it for me on one of his business trips" (WHAT THE FLIP DOES MICAH DO FOR A LIVING?) and how "everyone who could drink coffee" Could? Are there a lot of coffee-intolerant therians around here or something? Oh, wait, she means excluding vampires I guess "had their travel mugs, or used the generic ones that matched the red and black plates. The Kitchen was too far away from some of the rooms, so ways to keep hot things hot were important." Important and IRRELEVANT. Like, it's nice that LKH has thought up these little details about the Circus, it really is, and it does make it feel like a place where a lot of people really are residing. It's just that the information is coming in at a time where it's not really something that the reader feels the need for a paragraph for right now. Or at least, I sure don't. I would like the plot to just get the hell on already.
"I sipped the coffee, closing my eyes so the smell and taste of it could have their way with me." Even coffee has to be talked about sexually.
Damian says "That's better" and his robe gapes a little and we get a paragraph about his skin. He tells her that he's taken blood, and now her job is to eat solid food. Because I guess she needs reminding even though he told her that just last page. She just goes on sipping her coffee though, while holding Nathaniel's hand. Dammit, Anita, if you actually give a shit about him, drop his hand and start stuffing your face. Then Damian touches Nathaniel too and Anita can feel "power breathed through us" and a bunch of blahblah about their energies mingling, and she can feel from the pain in her should that "whatever the doctors had done to fix the wound had cost Nathaniel other pain." What does THAT mean?
Then it stops because Damian took his hand away from Nathaniel and he tells Anita that "You're our master, Anita; you have to get better at controlling this." Darn tootin'! Wait, energy going gaga when they touch ISN'T supposed to happen if she's in-control? But didn't it do the same when she was touching her other triumvirate earlier and it was a good thing and not a sign she lacked control? He tells her that he knows a lot of shit has gone down and he's sorry about Haven and Noel "but you can't afford to retreat from your psychic abilities like this." Anita starts to get pissed and says she's doing the best she can. Can I remind you all of that chapter in Flirt where Nicky asks "So, because you have to control it, you just do?" and Anita's like "Yup". Granted, they were talking about something else in Anita's superpower arsenal, but since then I've been suspicious of any and all of Anita's claims that she's really truly trying to control her powers when they do something they shouldn't.
Nathaniel says they know she's trying, and looking at him calms her down and reminds her that Nathaniel being alive means "nothing could be bad today." She apologizes to them both and then says "I'm just tired, but I shouldn't be. We were passed out for hours." Damian tells her that passed out is not the same as sleeping and that "you're more than just tired." I can't tell you if the former is true or not, but I can tell you that Anita proves she's dumb once again by asking what the latter means and he has to tell her that she needs to eat some more and then have a nap for a couple of hours. Anita makes the logical point that "we're trying to stay ahead of some of the most powerful vampires in the world. I don't have time for a nap." and Damian counters with the even more logical point that if she pushes herself Nathaniel won't heal right and she'll start draining Damian. "You can't do your usual, Anita. Not eating, not sleeping, just pushing." She shouldn't do her usual anyway. That's no way for an ordinary person to live, let alone someone who is supposed to be staying strong against supernatural assaults and who has all these people metaphysically tied to them that they will start to drain under those circumstances.
Nathaniel laughs, and Anita asks why and Nathaniel says "It's just I've heard this conversation a lot over the last year. You'll argue, Damian or I will push, and you'll finally take care of yourself. Can't you, just this once, give in now?" Over the last fucking YEAR? Look, I know a lot of people do have problems remembering to take care of themselves in these basic ways for various reasons. I've been one. But when I was, I didn't have people whose well-being literally depended on me eating and sleeping right and who had spent a YEAR trying to make me. Anita doesn't come across here as 'flawed, but finally improving' on this issue. It comes across her being incredibly selfish and callous to a rather terrifying point. Especially since she doesn't seem to have any REASON for not eating properly. She's not depressed or nervous or anorexic, she doesn't have some kind of physical condition that causes it or makes it unpleasant for her to eat or digest, we know she's sure as hell not dieting given her views on that, and while she did sometimes forget to eat or in the earlier novels it was always while she was working a case or something similar, and she didn't do it as much at all. In fact, it didn't become an issue UNTIL she got these guys dependent on her eating. That kind of creeps me out and makes me wonder if this is all just an act and she in fact is deliberately 'forgetting to eat/working too hard to eat/etc.' so that she'll start to drain them and they'll be reminded of their dependance on her and have to come begging her to just eat a damn croissant. Honestly, given LKH's apparent obsession with total control (as evident by the creepiness with Nicky) I would not be surprised if this is why LKH is writing these scenes.
Nathaniel looks like he's in pain, so Anita agrees to finish her food "and then what do you want me to do?" Damian and Nathaniel are shocked, and the former says again that he's not used to her giving in this soon. He tells her to eat and he'll go asks the doctor what to do next. Anita asks "Am I really that big a pain in the ass?" and Damian says "Yes" while Nathaniel says "You can be."
UNGH FUCK YES! I mean, I realize this was supposed to be cutesy, especially with how Damian and Nathaniel answered in unison, but I think this might be the closest we get to a call-out of Anita that DOESN'T get shut down or brushed off as the whinings of a jealous hater. I really hope readers aren't supposed to be impressed with Anita for finally giving a shit enough to EAT SOME DAMN FOOD AND TAKE A NAP when the well-being of a loved one and quite possibly the fate of supernatural America depends on her doing these things. The fact that Damian expected there to be an argument, and even had to take a whole chapter to talk to her at all in order to get her to do these things, says enough. Honestly, I'm just more frustrated than anything else that THIS is what counts for "progress" with this woman.
Anita says that the Vegas tigers should have arrived in St. Louis by now, and Damian says they have but that "Jean-Claude filled them in on what's been happening. They're calling the other tiger clans to try to get as many to St. Louis as quickly as possible." Doubtlessly to fuck Anita. "Get some rest for a couple of hours before you have to start working with the tigers." AND ANITA ASKS WHAT DOES THAT MEAN OH GOD THAT PHRASE NOW OUTDOES 'FLAVOR' IN MY MOST-HATED LIST. Next book I swear I will be keeping a fucking tally of it along with holding and group hugs. Damian tells her not to worry about it right now (yup, she's definitely gonna be boning them) and to just eat, sleep, and "stop being such a pain in the ass". And then he leaves. "I thought of a lot of things to say, but they all sounded petty, so I ate my food" poor baby, having to have a delicious breakfast when you're hungry! "and tried not to be a pain in the ass." Only Anita would have to actively TRY to avoid being a pain in the ass just while having some fruit and cheese. "I think every man in my life, and most of the women" what women? "would say it wasn't one of my best things." So she's fully aware that she's a pain in the ass but never has done anything to try to change that. Am I supposed to like this woman? Find this spunky and cute and tough? I don't know, but I think I am.
I just want to kick her in the face instead though.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2013-05-03 12:46 pm (UTC)Except eat a damn piece of bread.
In the early books, Anita's views on her weight and eating habits were annoying (I really don't believe she could weigh 100lbs max and have that figure), and I'm sure some of it is related to LKH's own yo-yo'ing body issues. But it's become downright infuriating at this point. And none of her men seem to care that this woman practically has an eating disorder. LKH may dance around the issue, claim that Anita is simply never hungry and just likes her coffee, but that isn't what we are seeing here. She never eats unless forced too, even when eating may mean the health of one of her lovers.
This is a bit of a sensitive issue to me, as someone who has recently come to accept her own eating disorder. I used to be like Anita, eating practically nothing except a granola bar or a few carrots. Exercised constantly and would hate myself for eating just one bite over my quota of food. My bf has helped me, basically forcing me to eat at least one normal meal a day, so I've made some progress. But eating disorders are a serious issue, and it's aggravating to see LKH treat Anita's eating disorder so lightly. Worse yet, Anita's poor eating habits affect the health of others, so it isn't just her body she's hurting. She could literally kill Nate and Damien, two men she supposedly cares about, with her shitty eating habits. And she doesn't give a fuck, it's all about how mean everyone is for forcing her to eat a piece of fruit. I just can't understand how LKH sees this as love. Anita has to be forced to eat to help her lovers heal, she has to be forced. She doesn't think of it on her own, she doesn't even care. You can tell us Anita loves her men, but her actions seem to indicate that she could care less about them.
God dammit this book is offensive.
Also, I can't remember if it's this chapter or the next, but did you catch the part where Anita has the gall to be upset that Noel is dead, because it ruins her happiness about Nate being alive? Our heroine.
no subject
Date: 2013-05-03 01:17 pm (UTC)To be fair, Damien and Nate seem to care very much about her eating habits... or the lack thereof. How much of that is genuine care and how much of that is self-preservation is hard to gauge.
Additionally, JC used to nag Anita about eating in the early books, particularly after he could taste foods through her. Again, how much of that was genuine care and how much of that was his food fetish is hard to gauge.
But yeah, someone should mention to Anita that she's got eating issues in addition to all of her other ones. Someone that she hopefully won't shoot. (Or who can survive being shot.)
LKH may dance around the issue, claim that Anita is simply never hungry and just likes her coffee, but that isn't what we are seeing here.
Not to be completely insensitive but.. I assume that you felt hunger even when you refused to indulge it.
(And, by the by, YAY FOR YOU for getting a handle on your health issue. Health issues are the WORST and they're so slippery that getting handles on them is really tough. I admire you for not only doing that but being able to talk about it afterwards.)
Genuinely not ever, ever feeling hungry can be indicative of other serious health issues. So, yeah, Anita might not have an eating disorder as LKH says (although all of that whinging and choosing not to eat and being judgmental about other people's weight in the earlier books is pretty strong evidence that Anita has food and body issues) but she's definitely suffering from SOMETHING. (Or maybe it's something plus an eating disorder. *shudders*)
no subject
Date: 2013-05-03 01:33 pm (UTC)Actually, the way she lambastes thin women all the time, looks down on dieters, and would doubtlessly see anorexia as a matter of vanity rather than mental illness makes me all the more think you might be right and she's just ignoring it because of all the aforementioned preconceptions and prejudices she has about it that make it, in her head, not something she could ever suffer from.
And given her need for absolute fucking control over everyone around her, control over her own body in this way might well be a part of her too, especially given how otherwise out of control it is now.
no subject
Date: 2013-05-03 01:39 pm (UTC)Not to be completely insensitive but.. I assume that you felt hunger even when you refused to indulge it.
True...I guess I'm trying to see this from LKH's perspective, because I'm sure we can all say that she isn't purposely writing Anita with some sort of medical issue/eating disorder. LKH is probably trying to write Anita as someone who is so stressed and busy that she simply 'forgets' to eat. And while I don't like to speculate too much into LKH's personal life, I'm certain that part of Anita's eating habits stems from LKH's own desire to have the 'perfect' body without having to work at it. Hell, I don't blame her, it'd be nice to be as ridiculously thin as Anita, and at the same time massively curvy (physically impossible), and never have to deal with such pesky things as being hungry or having to eat. But now that Anita's food habits directly impact others around her, the lack of eating has taken on a whole new sinister dimension.
It also kinda shows how much of a Sue/self-insert Anita is. Bella was the same way...come to think of it...I've noticed a lot of Sues in literature that are girls who are just naturally very skinny (with the right amount of curves), who never eat or really exercise. Lot of wish fulfillment going on.
(And, by the by, YAY FOR YOU for getting a handle on your health issue. Health issues are the WORST and they're so slippery that getting handles on them is really tough. I admire you for not only doing that but being able to talk about it afterwards.)
Thanks, it's been a long uphill climb that I've been on for over a year now, and it's only now that I feel like I can see the top and where I need to be. I suppose my own personal experience with eating disorder probably colors my perspective when reading Anita's aversion to food and her body-image issues. I mean, even now I'm nit-picking her breakfast choice (fresh fruit is fine, but the coffee has a lot of sugar, and croissants are mostly butter and eggs...if she wanted protein and something light, she could've gone with Greek yogurt, added calcium benefit)
no subject
Date: 2013-05-03 02:13 pm (UTC)At least you know what's healthier than what. You're talking to someone who had left over Japanese food, a small blackberry tart, and a large glass of milk for breakfast. And all this talk of fresh fruit has made me think that I'd like to have strawberries with lunch. ^_^
no subject
Date: 2013-05-03 04:39 pm (UTC)Yeah, that's my bet for why it's that way, at least out of character. "If only I got be a hottie with a tiny waist but not have to diet...I know, if I just never got hungry, it would be so much easier! I'll have that be the case with Anita. It makes sense for her since she has a high-stress job and stuff!"
My other bets are
- Food, like sex, is something that Good Girls Don't Want. It sounds weird, I know, but there's actually a long history of food associated with sex, physical appetites as metaphor for sexual appetite, etc. The commercials with a sexy girl eating a big sloppy cheeseburger are hot, but the second it's a fat woman eating it, suddenly it's gross and wrong. Likewise, women being sexy and having sex is culturally demanded, yet you can't be a "slut" either. So Anita only eating because she HAS to could be analogous to how she only has sex when she HAS to. It could possibly point to guilt that LKH feels about eating; I hesitate to probe that far into the author's personal business, but she's been pretty open about her weight struggles and I know that feeling guilty for eating is hardly an unusual thing among women given the culture we live in. So Anita gets to eat and not feel bad because omg it's JUSTIFIED! But she still has to be coaxed into it because she's such a good girl!
- A way to make her naturally thin without being one of those vain shallow dieting girls who care about gaining a pound, ew!
- Food as weakness. We know that LKH has really bizarre standards for what is weakness and strength in emotional terms. For instance, here caring about someone she 'loves' being injured and having emotions over how she had to kill someone she knew are called hysterics. Phobias, being traumatized over horrible things, not being callous monsters with no regard for the lives of others, all these things are framed as emotional weakness. Why then should she not have the same crazy standards for physical strength? Like, say, believing it's strong to not need or want food and to push yourself to the limits without it? It could just be another Anita Is The Toughest thing.