Adventures in AB Roleplay: Champagne the Swanmane

[a_sporking_rat]

Ok, so, back at the one and only AB RP board, the same that gave us That Guy and Finite Deus but also brought me together with the awesome people who formed the Flock and built swanmanes as we interpret them and who I still hang with online to this day. The player I'm about to talk about, who I shall call Derpia, is sadly in the former category. Derpia wasn't an asshole like That Guy, but she was pretty annoying. The type to complain about how bored she was in chat and to do things like "*licks*" at the other members...I know it's just chat but that makes loads of folks uncomfy, myself included. She seemed to have an undue need for attention, as evident by things like a tendency to suddenly spam photos of herself on flimsiest of excuses, fishing for compliments, etc. It was pretty awkward for everyone. We were a nice lot and everything, but the frequent unspoken demand to pander at random to someone's vanity is enough to wear on anyone's nerves. None of us were really sure what to do. I mean, she wasn't being mean to anyone or breaking any rules, she was just kinda needy and obnoxious.

I came up with a solution. I started responding by posting pics of myself whenever she did...or rather, pictures of rats and saying they were pics of me and how sexy I am and what a babe I am, etc. everyone else would chime in about what a hottie and a cutie I was. Clearly they enjoyed the rat pic technique. I mean, they got rat pics, how could they not? It never actually made her stop, but it meant that if we had to get spammed by her, we at least got spammed by cute rat pictures too. She actually even once wanted to use HERSELF as the PB (play-by, a celebrity or model who you choose to portray your character...which can make things hard for those of us who don't necessarily want to play people who look like models) for a character, but I talked her out of it. See, I had a very shallow character there, and if he had run into her, he would have made fun of her looks. I had no wish to RP out that cruelty when a real person would be hurt by it, regardless of if it would just be the character and not me. He also was not the only character like that at the board, so it wouldn't have been solved if I had just decided to never put them together; there'd still be a chance that the scenario would happen, and I did not want that shitstorm come to pass without at least trying to steer her away from it. And, knowing Derpia's pretty fragile temperament and tendency towards pouting and passive-aggression if things didn't go her way on something, I expect she'd throw a fit if another character so much as turned down the advances of the character who looked like her because WHAT DOESN'T HE THINK I'M PRETTY HUH and put the other player in a pretty awkward spot. Luckily she took my advice.

I tried to RP with her a few times, per her request, but she never responded to almost any threads that I started for us, despite always bugging other people for replies (and she'd bug me for instant replies even though hers took forever and I never said a word), and the one thread she did reply to was basically her copy-pasting my posts back to me of everything my char had just done and said and only actually typing a few lines or less of her char's response, which seldom gave me much to work with. Not an enjoyable time. Her main character was an alpha weresnake who was a bundle of fail and annoying in her own way, but honestly was the least bad of what she churned out and not really worth talking about unless you were there, in which case it's pretty funny to recall. This swan she submitted, on the other hand? Yeah, he's something else.


Name: Champagne Crevuex
I think she meant Crevoux? Cuz that's a real French word (not sure if it's a name though) but Crevuex isn't. And...Champagne? Who the hell names their child Champagne, especially their son? It really seems more like a stage name, and given that he is a model it would make complete sense for him to have a realistic and ordinary name that he was born with but model under something like Champagne, but, nope, seems to be his birth name and only name
Age: 24Real and Looks Wise
Birthdate: Feburary 14. 1988
Gender: Very Feminine male
Ok, some gender studies scholars who class "butch and femme" lesbians as different genders might disagree, but male is male is male and female is female is female, no matter how masculine or feminine they may be. A feminine male is a male. A masculine male is a male. A male who presents in a neutral or mixed manner is male. If they identify as male? They are male. End of story. This question is for what *gender* your character is, not how they choose to present that gender, so just putting 'male' does fine; I know this is little nit-picking, but choosing to put this in feels like she's saying that 'very feminine male' is a gender in itself apart from regular male...which is pretty offensive to guys who actually *are* feminine, because it's saying 'being femme means you're not really just a guy, you're this other category' know what I mean?
Orientation: Bi
Birthplace: Europe
Europe is...kind of big. And here I thought it was bad when people just put the names of countries down (England, Germany, etc.) but just the CONTINENT? And besides this, you know the whole backstory I made up for Ruthven and the English swans? That was made board canon, so where he comes from in Europe, namely whether it's England or not, is REALLY FUCKING IMPORTANT
Occupation: Model
Species:WereSwan
Species Specialty: Please mark which ranking of lycan your character is with an 'x'.

[x] Omega
of course pretty widdle femmey boy is an Omega! Sorry, but I can smell it from a mile away when people are doing a kawai delicate uke fetish thing, and Derpia was definitely the type to (made badly drawn yaoi and the like)
[] Beta
[] Alpha

---If Beta or Alpha; what powers do you already have?:

Are you a rogue? (aka, not joining the Flock at all; There will be difficulties for those who do no join.): []Y [x]N

Are you trying for a position in the Flock?: []Y [x]N
---If yes; what position?:


[THE LOOKS]

Height: 6' 2''
Weight: 140 lbs
Build: Feminine,Tall,Lithe
Hair Color: blonde with random color highlights
Eye Color: BLue
Distinguishing Marks:
I'm about six feet, two inches tall and i weigh around one ten. i have long hair in teh color of a very very light blonde, and i usually like to keep it around shoulder length. my skin is a pale powder cream color, since my parents were from far northern europe and all. my eyes are blue, large and doll'like. i have a few tattoo's here and there, and they're all just crazy things i thought looked cool. except one, that i have on the inside of my thigh that means a lot to me.. i got it after my father died, since i knew I'd never see him again.. and as for piercings: i have my ears pierced, tough i don't usually wear earrings, and my bellybutton. for clothes, simply cute clothes work for me. though sometimes i like to throw in a little leather jacket or two. i always accessorize, and i like to wear eyeliner."

God I hate first-person profiles. I hate it even more here because it wasn't requested by the app and it's the ONLY place where it's used. And...it lists his weight as 140, but then he says he's around 110, so is he a liar? And...doll'like? Is that like doll-like? LOL I love his description of his tattoos. And it is...kind of weird to me that you'd put a tattoo in memory of your DAD on your inner thigh of all places. And what is it of? He doesn't say! Also, if he doesn't usually wear earrings, specifically silver earrings at all times, those ear-piercings are going to heal up in a jiffy, as will the tattoos.


CLOTHING:

Style: Leather, corsets, straps, belts, oh wow the list does go on. The term of gothic wear seems to be the label of such clothes he prefers. Such labels mean nothing to her, just a term used by humans to feel special. \ Long flowing hair is something that is sophisticated and beautiful, at least in his eyes.(and of course he has the full enough lips to pull of his femaleness even more.

Firstly, she put this section in on her own. There was no section for clothing on the application template, you're not supposed to do that. She added to the profile because we just have to know all about what sweet little speshul Champ wears. Also, he says that he wears "simple cute clothes" but then apparently he wears "leather, corsets, straps, belts"? Those aren't simple, and aren't what comes to the mind of most when the term 'cute' is used. Also the bit about "humans just use the label 'gothic' to feel special' says to me that you're just throwing that bit in to show how special *he* is for being ~above labels~...because that's so unusual and edgy and it's not like people railing about how labels are for soup cans is a huge trend or anything. Also the word Gothic actually does mean something and something very specific at that in terms of fashion and sub-culture, so shove it. "Too-cool-for-labels" types like that get on my nerves tremendously. You don't fit a label? Awesome. Now stop sneering at those of us who like stuff that does *Goth fan*

Play- By: Allison Harvard


[THE RELATIONSHIPS]

Mother: Mother alive-Beckie Norwilds-59
Father: Kylen Creveux Dead
Siblings: Siblings from Beckies Creveux marriage:Kyliean and Oceanica
Stepsiblings: Harley and Cedar
Derpia had a tendency to give bizarre names to characters and their family, such as Zaruellko Harrison and Zakeryious Novellino for a pair of boys in 1800s England. The step-kids here being named after a bike brand and a tree actually seems NORMAL in comparison to the nonsense Champ's siblings are called, and makes Champagne not look so bad!
Significant Other:
Children:
Other Important Persons: Karyn Ackles,Nao Akri and Nhamo Ackles.
...ok I am convinced she just mashes the keyboard for these.


Personality: she’s always looking to have fun, and is easily bored. She rarely takes offense to anything, letting roll off her shoulders, instead trying to find her next adventure. She’s sweet, but rambunctious. She’s known to walk away in the middle of a conversation if it’s boring her and is often the life of the party. She very much enjoys being a swan and is at peace with her beast.

As well as the fact that she loves to party, she also loves to do her work. Along with the fact that Champange is quiet a flirt.as long as its two legged and human-like ,she flirts with it. She is the leader type in a group of friend but also the oddball. BUT work always comes before fun for him.

So. You write that he's a guy, and not genderqueer in any way, just femme. Yet you call him a 'she' all throughout this section, and when questioned on it, I recall she said that yes he just switches around pronouns...YOU KNOW, LIKE A CERTAIN OTHER BLOND ANDROGYNOUS WERESWAN OF *MINE* WHO ACTUALLY *IS* NON-BINARY AND NOT JUST A PRETTY-BOY WHO CROSS-DRESSES FOR HIS JOB? *COUGH ANDREJ PEJIC RIPOFF COUGH*


Likes:
Coffee
Birds
Modeling
CLothes
Shoes
Music

Dislikes:
assholes
Idiots
Immature people
Foxes
Dieting

Fears:
Being skinned
Damaging any feathers
losing her job as a model

Strengths:
*extreme flexibility - With her tall slender frame and her beast side ,she can be rather flexible like an acrobat Swans are super-flexible?

*rather cunning -Rather than use her fists or weapons in a fight she uses sound and teeth,Meaning she fights with sly and cunning words as her weapon.


Weaknesses: *sometimes doesn’t think before he speaks- sometimes if he doesnt catch herself he will speak whats on her mind and sometimes that can get him in trouble.He also has a weak stomach when it comes to somethings such as dead animals,it makes him sick to his stomach and if he sees a nasty enough corpse then watch it.Also he may be a were but if a cold is powerful enough or catches him at the wrong point he gets as sick as a bird can get.

...how often is he seeing nasty corpses? Wait, this, is the ABverse, I guess I can let that slide because it's kind of a grimdark place like that, especially for those who live on the supernatural side of things. Also awwww, isn't that kawai, he's so frail that he OVERRIDES SHIFTER BIOLOGY/SUPER-HEALING IN ORDER TO GET SICK because that can't be a ploy for attention and making him look oh-so-fragile at all costs regardless of how illogical it is.


Powers: Graceful like all swans,and very elegant.White ivory feathers adoring his form,none of the feathers out of place would do at all. Eyes that kept their bright blue color even in his swan form peered out above his orange beak,adored with a little black mask. Never really used since he likes swimming so much are the cute webbed black legs and feet.

...being graceful and elegant is not a power. Describing how he *looks* as a swan is definitely not a power, and does not need to be done at all because a *picture* of the animal form is included in the app

Abilities:

Animal communication-With various animals-thanks to her beast she can comunnitcate with other animals,she can hear what they are saying as if they were speaking english a downside is that he sometimes talks back in english(think doolittle)

THINK DOOLITTLE LOL. Firstly, you'd think Animal Communication for Shifters would extend ONLY to their respective animal (like how some alpha therians can call normal versions of that animal)...and if I recall right, it's not even a power we had at the board. She made it up for her precious Champ. And if one *could* understand animals, it wouldn't just sound like English. I realize that's a fun fantasy, but animals have entirely different psyches from humans and generally are not as intelligent, at least by our definition of intelligent, so more likely it would work more like inherently realizing that this dog is growling in a way that means 'GO AWAY I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT BUT I WILL' versus a way that means 'I WANT TO FIGHT AND AM CHALLENGING YOU' when a human ordinarily couldn't catch that distinction.


While her powers aren't uncommon for his kind (EXCEPT THAT PART WHERE YOU MADE ONE UP, ENSURING HE IS THE ONLY ONE ON THE BOARD WITH IT),they all have different effects. In Example while she has Increased Physical abilities, it just makes her a touch or two stronger than a human(Kind of like how he's so cute with his getting sick).For changing Forms it just means that he can shift from animal to human and human to animal (um, yes, that is exactly what shifting forms mean, why do you say 'just' as if it's minor compared to what others can do?), although he tends to pass out after the shift from animal to human if he shifts back and forth (NO. For most therians, being weakened after shifting is common for all but the strongest, but NOT for swans no matter what delicate ukes they are, it's a fucking defining feature of them that they can just switch back and forth as they please and not suffer for it like other therians!). In turn of that ,his Partial Shifting(Um I thought his shifting was "just" from animal to human and back again? Only the most POWERFUL therians, even among swanmanes, can do partial shifting at that, not your precious frail Omega!) 'angel wings' upon his back and a crown of feathers forming on his brow and head like a mardi gras feather mask (ANGEL WINGS AND A MARDI GRAS MASK AHAHAHAH. BECAUSE SWANS TOTALLY HAVE THAT KIND OF FEATHER FORMATIONS ON THEIR FACES. AND ITS NOT LIKE THEIR ARMS ARE WINGS OR ANYTHING dude no you would not be an angel more like a harpy oh my god this priceless). Can be summoned by a vampire although he wouldn't of know it if he has been(What. How do you get summoned, feel the pull of your beast so strong you have to go where it leads, and NOT KNOW WHAT HAPPENED? ESPECIALLY IF YOU WIND UP IN FRONT OF A VAMPIRE.).A Rather weak sense of smell,paired with Sharp sight,and great hearing.Now..his swan power...rather new to using it so his aim..is 50/50,half of the time hitting the intended target the other half missing the target and/or hitting himself. (Swan power...aim...target...what? I...I don't understand at all, you can fire 'swan power' at someone? I have no idea.)

History: Growing up he was always an odd child amongst all five of her sibling two of which he never got along with(stepsibs) and two of which he just didnt care for(older brothers), with pale white skin, eyes so round and full they looked like dolls eyes with the bright shade of blue he has,followed with long blond hair. His whole family were swans, black swans and Champagne was white.

I like how she just HAS to tell us how Champ looked as a little kid (or how his siblings looked, I can't quite tell) when it's completely irrelevant. They way she keeps likening his eyes to those of dolls makes me think of JAWS. And of course the step-siblings are the ones he doesn't get along with, that's not cliche at all. I also love the lack of REASON given for not bonding with any of siblings, and no background at all on when he got step-siblings, when his parents separated, when his mother re-married, etc. It's not like that's important to how a child grows up and becomes who they are or anything!


he was never into the boy stuff(like sports and such) but rather liked to play in the mud and dig for bugs with her father (Is playing with mud and bugs NOT considered a boy thing by general society??), His view upon the world changed though when he was just fifteen, His view before then had been take life slow and easy, but at fifteen he had been in a car accident with his father him getting out with only minor injuries and gaining the scar beneath his eye, his father however had died while in Surgery. he had graduated from the High school with Honors but decided not to go to college preferring just a high school diploma.

So in what way did his view change? You say it changed but don’t say how, and that’s important for the character because it says who he is NOW versus who he was. Also, the car crash and father dying in surgery is carbon-copied from the background of her weresnake.

His modelling career started when he was ten,he used to model with his best friends(Karyn Ackles,Nao Akari and Nhamo Ackles until they had a falling out of how famous he got in Europe by his sixteenth birthday.(they were pissed becuase h was a guy not a girl but was pulling off most of teh girl outfits and such) he had come to the states because of a trip with his agency before deciding to live in the USA. Moving From Miami,to New Orleans to Seattle then finally to New York..

I really, really hate when bios jump around instead of going chronologically, and Derpia's bios do this chronically. He’s fifteen and his dad dies and then he’s graduating high school, but then he’s ten again and that’s when his modeling career starts…and again, there’s absolutely no attention given to how modeling from such a young age would impact a kid and how it effected him specifically. Also I cannot stop loling about how the jealous girl friends are all pissy that HE’S JUST SO FAMOUS AND PRETTY AND A BETTER GIRL THAN THEY ARE TEE HEE this is classic misogynist yaoi fantasy right here, wow, ahahah. Actually, wait, that‘s perfect for the canon Anita Blake books!

I don't know if Champagne ever got accepted or not. If he did, we'd already left by them. To be honest, he's mostly entirely unremarkable in terms of fail if not for the ANGEL WINGS BIT. That's the whole reason I remember him, the whole reason I saved his app, the whole reason I posted this. Those. Angel. Wings.

ANGEL WINGS AND A MARDI GRAS MASK

TOTALLY HOW PARTIAL SHIFTING WORKS

TOTALLY HOW SWAN ANATOMY WORKS

PRICELESS. JUST...PRICELESS. At least to me. I will love it forever.

Comments

[duamuteffe.livejournal.com]

Ah, I see. Thank you. I guess I was assuming that if the characters was (nominally?) male and the player female, then "play-by" must be who the character was being played by.
I'm still trying to puzzle out whether she thinks swans have separate arms from their wings, maybe tucked up like little T-rex arms somewhere :)

[a-sporking-rat.livejournal.com]

Reasonable assumption! He's just so pretty she picked a girl to play him, which, actually, I don't see a problem with in itself (cuz...well, Andrej Peijic exists) and couldn't throw stones if I did, since I used a Latino guy to play my super-butch Indian wererat (because, well, dark-skinned masculine Indian girls seem in short supply in media and I couldn't find any) and Lucille's son is actually ridic pretty/androgynous too when he grows up.

T-rex arms will always remind me of Anita, lol! Swans are totally raptors, though. The Jurassic Park kind. Derpia, however, expressed disbelief that real swans are actually mean. Said she could see a goose being mean, but not a swan. PRETTY THINGS ARE NEVER VICIOUS!

[duamuteffe.livejournal.com]

I hope someone has a camera when she meets one, then, because that should be a treat. ^_^ "Ooo, you're so pretty, let me pet you-" "HISSSSSSSSS" "AAAIGH!"

[cygnusrex.livejournal.com]

Swans are totally raptors, though. The Jurassic Park kind.

Oh god they figured out the door handles!

and swords
and explosives
and guns
and-

everyone is screwed.

[a-sporking-rat.livejournal.com]

just last night actually I decided I wanted a scenario in which another vamp, maybe Armel, says "You enslaved swanmanes?" to Ruthven in the same way Grant says "You bred raptors?" in the movie

[lliira (from livejournal.com)]

I learned of the viciousness of swans from British humor writers. P.G. Wodehouse wrote a story in which Bertie Wooster got trapped by a swan. There's also a bit about swans in Three Men and a Boat.