a_sporking_rat: rat (blue mouse)
Someone, I think subtle_shades, made a remark about Valentina's age seeming off. I looked it up, and it's a YAABI (Yet Another Anita Blake Inconsistency): When first seen (CS) she appears to be around eight physically, though in DM she is described as being stuck at five. I'm no child expert, but I'm pretty sure eight year olds are a lot bigger than five year olds.

Have some pocket rats!
http://favim.com/orig/201106/23/cute-hamster-mouse-pocket-rat-Favim.com-80558.jpg
http://fc09.deviantart.net/fs40/i/2009/029/4/f/Pocket_rat_by_Agathica.jpg
http://fc03.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2010/268/e/4/gale_the_pocket_rat_lol_by_cimmerian_pixel-d2zfsuv.jpg

BULLET, CHAPTER THIRTY ONE )
a_sporking_rat: rat (blue mouse)
I am a big X-Men fan, and I am a massive dork for the Hellfire Club especially, they're my favorite villains. Not the movie ones (nothing wrong with them, they're just not my faves) but the ones from the comics, especially the women (Maddie, Emma, Sage, Selene), Shaw and his son, and the Hellions. Oh god, I love the Hellions. MY POOR BABIES. UGH. THEY GOT SO LITTLE FOCUS BEFORE BEING KILLED OFF AND THEY HAD SUCH POTENTIAL--ahem, anyyyyway...I, uh, had this massively dorkalicious idea concerning them. Basically, adjusting them for the Anitaverse. The Hellfire Club would replace the Council (or are the American Council that the original feared would be set up)

Black King, Lord Imperial = Sebastian Shaw, Earthmover, invulnerable as long as he is in contact with ground
White Queen = Emma Frost, most powerful psychic vampire/telepath in the States
Black Queen = Selene, pyrokinetic who can suck out life-force of others (like OB and Anita), calls wolves and werewolves
White King = Shinobi Shaw, calls shadows like Seraphina
White Bishop = Donald Pierce, vampire whose limbs were burned off, now has Frankenstein-type parts animated by magic
Black Bishop = Harry Leland, Earthmover who controlled gravity
Black Rook = Madelyne Pryor, pyrokinetic/telekinetic vampire, first vampire clone
White Rook = Trevor Fitzroy, can drain life/power like Selene

Servants of the Hellfire Club council:
Sage/Tessa, Jane/Scribe, Benazir Kaur (rotter with powers based in disease), Red Lotus, Viper, Mountjoy, the Mastermind family, Dr. Nathaniel Essex, Ebony Knights, and Ivory Knights.

Orrr maybe they're not vampires at all. They could be humans with supernatural powers! These have been shown to exist in the Anitaverse, such as the psychic SWAT squad, but never really explored. But why the hell wouldn't a bunch of parahumans organize together for personal gain? I actually like that idea even better than them as the American council, because vampires already get so much focus as it is, why not some spotlight for parahumans BESIDES Anita?

Sebastian Shaw = Absorbs psionic, supernatural, and/or magical energies directed at him (like metaphysical attacks from ~inner beasts~, attempts to eat his anger, etc.) and converts them into super-strength and durability
Emma Frost = High-level telepath (and wouldn't Anita just LOATHE her?)
Selene Gallio = A necromancer sorceress that has sustained a supernaturally long lifespan, complete with youth and beauty, by draining the life from vampires
Shinobi Shaw = Can summon/generate shadows to hide in to the point of nearly being invisible, which he uses, as he did his intangibility in the comics, to peep on girls. Dammit, Shinobi, you little shit (he will also probably get a new first name because, seriously, who names their kid 'Ninja'? Shiro, I guess, to reference how he was the White King in the comics?)
Harry Leland = Telekinetic
Donald Pierce = Cyperpath/technopath
Madelyne Pryor = Psychic witch
Trevor Fitzroy = Can absorb life energy from other humans
Tessa Rutledge = Psychometry, clairvoyance, and perfect memory

And of course, Emma could be training the Hellions as the next generation! Or weapons/cannon fodder/means to various ends, that too!
James Proudstar = probably some type of wereanimal (wolf, bear) to explain his powers, which would be the same minus flight
Sharon Smith = black panther wereleopard, a feral teenager found by Emma, clearly has been infected from a very young age
Manuel de la Rocha = A nasty little empath of course!
Haroun ibn Sallah al-Rashid = Can cause spontaneous combustion, and his own legs were irreparably burned when they got caught in the flames during one use of his powers. He now has prosthetic ones.
Jennifer Stavros = Psychically alters probability, just without the red and black discs
Marie-Ange Colbert = It's unclear if she's a psychic or a witch, but she can tell the future with Tarot cards exceedingly accurately even for a parahuman

I tried to keep their powers mostly mental or environmental, since those are the only types we've seen so far in the Anitaverse. For instance, we've seen empaths, which would be a mental ability, and we've seen someone who can 'harden' the air around him into force fields, which would be environmental, but we haven't seen a parahuman with physical powers such as teleportation, super-strength, diamond skin, etc. Admittedly Sebastian's is still technically a physical power in this version, but I think it's AB-passable or at least close. No being a cyborg for Pierce though because that's far ahead of the technology level of the Anitaverse.

Probably the most sci-fi it gets is with Madelyne, who was raised by Dr. Nathaniel Essex, who specializes in the study of parahumans. She was told by him that he adopted her, but later finds out she is in fact his genetically-engineered creation (a reference to the fact that Mr. Sinister, aka Dr. Nathaniel Essex, who studied mutants, cloned Madelyne from Jean Grey in the comics) but there may also have been magic involved with making this version too, which makes it a little more believable for the Anitaverse I think.

YES I AM A MASSIVE FUCKING DORK WITH TOO MANY PLOT BUNNIES/RATTIES, OKAY?

But you know what, it would still be better than...
BULLET, CHAPTER 30, PART TWO )
a_sporking_rat: rat (blue mouse)
Jabez continues to show improvement! He has been getting special treats like cake and cereal to encourage him to eat, and I think he's going to pull through.

Justin and Jenner got fed from the very last of the rat food bag today, so there was mostly just seeds and no big tasty kibble-thing bits that Justin loves...the look that Justin gave me after he realized this was enough to make me open a new bag and promptly give him the prime pieces.

Ratsputin tried to get in a fight with a squirrel this morning. I never believed that "testosterone poisoning" was an actual thing until this. Luckily he didn't actually get near enough to catch any disease or get bitten, but it was tough to hang on to him!

WEREHEDGEHOG!
http://summer-of-supervillainy.tumblr.com/post/49390090115/fuckyeahdiomedes-donnamosses

Chinchillas!
http://www.qualitymutationchinchillas.com/images/640_xbabies.051809.2.JPG
http://www.jennykyledesign.com/chincalendar2009/web/virus_1.jpg

And what would happen if Anita ran a restaurant
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6LY7TJ16pg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQDtoHpAWhg

And speaking of testosterone poisoning...
BULLET, CHAPTER 30, PART ONE )
a_sporking_rat: rat (blue mouse)
Thank you all for the well-wishes! Jabez has made it through another night and I am very hopeful at this point concerning his survival. He's still not 100% back to normal yet, but he's improving! I wish I could say the same for...
BULLET, CH. 29 )
a_sporking_rat: rat (blue mouse)
Having been taught tabletop basics through DnD, I will now be joining in a group Exalted game! I'll be playing a caribou-shifter Lunar Exalted. Go ungulates! It will begin tomorrow :3 I am very excited! Speaking of RP, I have some epic tales of fail from when I roleplayed at Anitaverse boards. Would anyone be interested in my posting these?

BULLET, CHAPTER 27 )
a_sporking_rat: rat (blue mouse)
I'm on Chapter 44 right now. The first paragraph is about how piss-scared the vampire world is, how they're now willing to turn to JC, etc. The last paragraph emphasizes how time is of the essence, they've got about six hours to get their sh*t together and kick some MOAD ass...but right after the first paragraph it says "But as usual with Jean-Claude and the vampire world, the next step involved a party" and the rest of the chapter before that last paragraph is all about Anita getting dressed up fancy and hating it and what Cardinal and Meng Die and Micah are wearing. WHAT THE EFF. HOW DID ANY VAMPIRES SURVIVE AT ALL IF THIS IS THEIR MODUS OPERANDI. HOW. Well, at least this is canon support for the fancy mixer party in Sue vs Sue. They will clearly throw one over anything, especially when it makes the LEAST sense to do so.

Speaking of future chapters...I have a new favorite character! SPOILER TIME: When they're meeting all the tiger clans, Anita whips the sh*t out of three female tigers. First she dominates one named Julia who dared challenge her/touch Victor (the white tiger prince she boned in Skin Trade). Then she uses sex to take jade, a black tiger sent by a bad Harlequin as a spy and make her one of her harem. And then...she gets in a fight with Reba. Reba. Is. Awesome! She's daughter of the red tiger queen, and she says Anita is just a survivor, not a true queen, not anything, just a human! She tells the red tiger men not to her bewitch them! And then when Anita tackles her, she's all "Are you going to fuck me? Is that all they know how to do in St. Louis?" BADASS LADY ALERT!

Of course, as it turns out, she's a totally weak weretiger who can't partial shift, doesn't deserve to be queen, etc. *eyeroll* And she's criticized for knowing how to use a knife to make up for that. As with Bibi and Julia, I am getting entirely tired of how LKH claims this species is matriarchal, women have the power, etc., yet are repeatedly shown as ineffective and easily defeated. Even jade is said to be omigod sooooo powerful but she has to be dominated and then rescued from her master by Anita and does eff-all herself and is describe as fragile, wounded, etc. (Also her defeat of Julia is really creepily rapey, of course, talking about how she straddles her on the floor and "thrust the power into her" and stuff...this is why you're not allowed a real penis, Anita. Speaking of penises, she has to have Domino doing her from behind while she kinda grinds on Jade. because CAN'T GET TOO GHEY NAO CAN WE?)

Yeah, Reba is going in Lucy's harem. So is Julia. BELONG TO A *REAL* MATRIARCHY, LADIES! Of course, Reba doesn't want to bow to Anita, so I doubt she'll be willing to bow to Lucille...oh, this could get interesting.
BULLET, CHAPTER 26 )
a_sporking_rat: rat (blue mouse)
I knew that regular male mice sang (albeit at a pitch humans cannot hear) in order to attract and woo lady mice, but I didn't know about deer mice singing!
http://www.johnsankey.ca/peromyscus.html

Justin and Jenner are getting some thinning fur on their backs. I guess that's to be expected since they're both almost 2 and half years old...they're still going strong otherwise though!

BULLET, CHAPTER 25 )
a_sporking_rat: rat (blue mouse)
While he was...ill, shall we say...a small patch of Jabez's lovely gray fur turned a sort of ugly beige-brown that honestly reminds me old menstrual blood. I suppose it was from stress, can that happen? I'm hoping it'll go away or grow back in its proper color, I really don't like this stain on my beautiful chinchilla brindle baby!

I've decided that at some point I need to take Lucille, the Villain Sue Big Bad from my own series-in-the-works and not only put her younger self into the Anita Blake world for a fanfic, but also make her into a super Mary Sue hybrid just like Anita so as to combat the DoomCrotch. A 'logical' (by the standards of the series) way to pull it off has been brewing in my mind, and I think I've got it now. Just as Anita starts off simply as an animator, maybe Lucy likewise starts off just as a witch. Then for whatever reason she's chosen by MOAD, who gives her a beast. Except instead of it being A RAINBOW OF TIGERS she becomes a huge were-smiledon too like the MOAD does. One with clouded leopard type patterns in cream and gold. It's perfect Mary Sue--big, powerful, pretty, and the absolute only one. And somehow it makes her queen of all werecats. And the MOAD also gives her powers from Beast, Fear, and Rage vamps, but not Lust ones because it's been stated she 'doesn't understand' the ardeur and Anita has used it against her so much, and not the psychic because the Traveller was most effective at shaking her possession. Maybe she does get powers from Earthmover though (I think 'that's too much!' and then remember THAT'S THE POINT and it can help combat the elemental earth powers of the golden tigers that Anita can supposedly awaken). Anyway, she's now the MOAD's personal weapon to go up against the DoomCrotch--a creature as overpowered, canon-breaking, cruel, beautiful, and sociopathic as Anita herself.

It feels so cringe-worthy and silly even to type about in fun/as parody that I keep going in my head "This is terrible! You know this is terrible!" and I keep having to remind myself THAT'S THE POINT again.

Oh, and just by coincidence, Lucy's existence is everything that Anita will loathe. She's a lesbian, a gorgeous lipstick one at that, so she's conventionally feminine AND powerful and capable in practice (not just theory like a lot of the eeevil monster ladies are, like Belle Morte thus far) so Anita can't sneer at her for being girly and weak and weak because she's girly. And as for being a lesbian, she's NOT into Anita. But she will still take Anita's men. Not for sexual purposes, no, but they obviously make good slaves. Well, the strong ones, anyway. The useless ones like Nathaniel will be killed or kept around to take out her sadistic urges on. Best of all, Lucille is tall and blonde...and Anita can't comfort herself by calling her a "boy with breasts" or talking about how her men like "real women with curves" because Lucille actually has Anita's brand of an impossible figure--pinup type hourglass with a big bust, hips/ass, tiny waist, and Linda Hamilton muscle under all that pretty soft top-layer of flesh. And since she's 5'10, the average American male height, she's even got room for long legs that Anita doesn't. MUAHAHAHA!

I think I'll call it SUE VS SUE. In the unlikely event I actually sit down and write any of it, would you lot mind terribly if I posted it here? I think it would be a great improvement over....
BULLET, CHAPTER 18 )
a_sporking_rat: rat (blue mouse)
Joram's lump is almost definitely an abcess, which is good! A tumor would be certain death, but an abscess I can treat. As for Jabez, well, his penis stayed out a week and he wasn't looking good. He even had trouble breathing and was making distressed noises. Likely having it out weakened his immune system and opened him up to a respiratory infection. On Tuesday, I put some cold water on it to reduce the swelling, and this enabled me to push his sheath back and reveal what I'd suspected there might be--a penis plug! This big gob of proteinaceous material was forcing his poor little pecker out and hurting him! I removed it, and now he seems fine.

This is more exciting than anything that happens in....
BULLET, CHAPTER 15 )
a_sporking_rat: rat (blue mouse)
Jenner got a bath today! He didn't enjoy it, but he's a cleaner, fluffier rat now. I keep trying to get ahold of Justin to do the same, but he knows something is up and is staying hidden in his box.

I wanted to give Sam something to do, since she’s really energetic and clearly needs more toys. So I strung some Cheerio-knockoffs on a piece of twine, and tied it like a garland to her cage bars so she would have to climb to get them, and have to work to nibble each one off. It didn’t quite turn out as planned. She figured out what it was really fast, but soon turned her attention from trying to painstakingly get a nibble of each individual piece to figuring out how she could get ALL the pieces easily. To my amazement, she began chewing the twine instead of the treats, causing the twine to break and all the cereal to slide off it to the cage floor, where she and Blatz were able to easily get to them at their leisure! So much for THAT attempt at occupying her! She did this in less than five minutes, by the way.

No one is half as smart as my Sam in...

BULLET, CHAPTER 14 )
a_sporking_rat: rat (blue mouse)
Firstly, Thursday was World Rat Day! Yes, really! In honor of that, please enjoy this list of rat facts at my personal LJ!
http://rodentfanatic.livejournal.com/50267.html

As for my own babies, the rats are fine, but I am pretty much running a mouse hospital. I'm treating Tiras for an eye infection, Joram for what I think is an abscess (it could be a tumor, but he has the same symptoms that Scurvy's abscess gave him--scabs on his face and shoulders, fatigue, just looking rough/tired), and Jabez...has a prolapsed penis. If that thing doesn't go back in its sheath, he could get an infection and die from that. Or it could become necrotic and he could die from that. So I just give him mineral oil rubs and hope for the best. Yeah, he's pretty much getting handjobs in order to survive.

Which is something that would probably happen in...
BULLET, CHAPTER 13 )
a_sporking_rat: rat (blue mouse)
Hello everyone! I considered trying to do something funny or clever or trolly for an April First post, but then I realized, there's no bigger joke than just Anita Blake as is! So get ready to laugh at...
BULLET, CHAPTER TWELVE, PART TWO )
a_sporking_rat: rat (blue mouse)
This one's gonna be a three-parter, folks! LKH is making up for the last two chapters being less than five pages each by having this one be fifteen. Fifteen is a decent length, but it does take me longer to spork, hence breaking it up into three parts so my fingers can take a rest AND you don't have to wait extra for the next update!
BULLET, CHAPTER TWELVE, PART ONE )
a_sporking_rat: rat (blue mouse)
Many thanks to zombiexbunny for sending me Bullet on Kindle, along with Hit List and Kiss the Dead!

I'm currently looking for blogs to give the Liebster Award to, so if you've got one and it has less than 200 followers, let me know!

Hey, remember Anita's claims that she had no idea that Jean-Claude and Asher weren't fucking? That's not the case according to Cerulean Sins!
http://creativedoubledipper.blogspot.com/2013/03/cerulian-sins-chapter-8.html
"This segues into a question about wheither or not Jean Claude and Asher are having sex. They aren't because Anita wouldn't like that, and Jean Claude always does what Anita wants."
NO IDEA, HUH?

Also, I had a thought. Nathaniel's skin naturally smelling like vanilla makes no sense...but it would make sense if he was a female wererat! A lot of female rats, believe it or not, often have a naturally sweet, very clean scent. One of my girls, Miss Blatz, does. She has a floral scent in my opinion, while my dad thinks she smells like new sneakers and my mom thinks she smells like powder.

As for what boy rats smell like...I've heard their natural scent described as corn chips, fresh tortilla, or even grape soda. I don't think it quite matches any of those, but it's definitely a distinct smell. Not bad, though. And not overt, you can't smell the odor of either sex unless you push your nose into their fur. Yes, I do that. Yes, I made both my parents do that. Mom was more resistant than Dad about, haha. She's not much of a rodent fan, but I totally converted Dad.

But even more wererats, scented or not, won't fix...
BULLET, CHAPTER NINE )
a_sporking_rat: rat (blue mouse)
These first two tips here? LKH needs them desperately for this chapter. Number six wouldn't hurt either
http://limyaael.livejournal.com/193450.html
BULLET, CHAPTER SEVEN )

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