HIT LIST, CHAPTER 28
Oct. 7th, 2013 01:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
a_sporking_ratTo start with, a fun fact: Though not an official holiday, August 6 is called the day of hamsters by hamster lovers in Japan. This is because their word for "August 8" is pronounced "hamu" and hamu is an abbreviation of a hamster in Japanese.
Unrelated: So, you know Operation Pied Piper? When the British government moved urban kids out to more rural areas so that they would be safe from German bombings in WWII? ALL THE YOUNG SWANMANES TOTALLY GOT MOVED OUT TO RUTHVEN'S PLACE
ALL OF THEM
AT ONCE
WHAT FUN
FUN LIKE A BARREL OF MONKEYS
BY WHICH I MEAN FUN LIKE TINY SCREECHY BITING POO-FLINGING THINGS EVERYWHERE
has to save their downy asses every two seconds from moor-beasts because they have viciousness of swans and illusion-of-immortality of kids and thus are constantly going after hellhunds and lindworms and what and thus ENDANGERING HIS INVESTMENT IN THEM DAMMIT
...he's not happy.
UR BABYSITTING, CELIA! NO THE THERIAN EMPLOYEES CAN'T DO IT, they won't be able to resist snacking on them when they're this size
Even if you have no interest in my characters or stories, I will bet anything you'd rather be reading that than...
This chapter is sixteen pages. Most of it is due to literally PARAGRAPHS devoted to the description of the hair and eyes and clothes of characters. And I don't mean all the descriptions add up together to multiple paragraphs, I mean multiple paragraphs FOR EACH CHARACTER. What isn't description is basically Raborn getting demonized and reamed for being a meanie-poo to Anita, with the addition of straw-misogyny and LKH trying to prove she and Anita aren't themselves misogynists by throwing in A NON-EVIL COP-LADY...who is only non-evil because she takes Anita's side and then gets the hell off the stage. Funny, isn't it, how that seems to happen to every 'good' woman? After all, Kelly and Rosamond from Bullet are never heard from again, and poor Laila Karlton was put out of commission right after she 'bonded' with Anita...LKH, if you want to prove to your detractors that not every woman in your series besides Anita is a bitch/slut/hater/etc., you might want to have them actually EXIST for more than one chapter. Even poor Claudia only ever turns up once in a blue moon, and only then just to serve Anita!
HIT LIST, CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT
"We were all set to go hunt the bad guys our way" with sex? "with muscle from home to back us" good, good, about time, let's get going "and then we both got phone calls." AW NO COME ON NOT MORE DELAYS AUGH WHYYYY. "We were called into the office to explain ourselves. I'd never been called by any marshal brass to explain myself before." With all the crap you pull? BULLSHIT! "When I asked Edward if it was a first for him, too, he just nodded." I hope this means you two have finally been found out for what you are. "We were actually going to ignore the calls" CAN YOU EVEN DO THAT? WOULDN'T THAT BE A CRIME? "but some police officers in marked cars showed up with orders to escort us to the meeting." Clearly they know you pretty well already. Anita asks who Edward pissed off while she was unconscious, Edward says he hasn't done anything, Anita repeats that she was unconscious so it couldn't have been her.
Bad Guys: 1
Needless Re-clarification: 1
"We tried to leave my homeboys out of it" She wrote this. She typed this line completely seriously. There is nothing in context to suggest we are meant to read it in a tongue-in-cheek tone. "but the uniforms had orders to bring in Marshal Forrester and Marshal Blake and the illegal backup" and the use of the term illegal backup is "a clue as to why we were being called to explain ourselves." Well, good. Of course "it was Marshal Raborn who had tattled on us to Teacher. It wasn't his warrant, so it wasn't his business." He's a law officer. You are doing something illegal. Therefore it is his business, you petulant brat. Anita complains to us about how it's his fault she's being brought in like this while she could be tracking the Harlequin because he busted her instead of BLAMING HERSELF FOR DOING SOMETHING ILLEGAL WHILE ON AN IMPORTANT CASE. "Night would fall, the vampires would rise, and we were stuxck playing departmental politics." And again, whose fault is that? If you don't want to behave like a marshal, don't be one. I realize that cops who 'don't play by the rules' are a staple of noir, of cop shows, detective stories, etc., which AB is supposed to be in part, but Anita does it too extremely and too unnecessarily for it to seem justified to me (seriously JUST HAVING OLAF OUT ALONE...!) or realistic for her to still have her badge. She doesn't break rules in the name of justice or saving people or even out of some personal grudge over a bad guy she'll do anything to get, she does it because she just doesn't seem to think they apply to her, or, hell, sometimes out of what seems downright spite and to show she can.
Anita and Edward are in an office with Raborn and the immediate supervisor, a Marshal Rita Clark, while Anita's backup waits in the hallway. Half the page, maybe a bit more, is devoted to telling us what Clark looks like: her height, her body type, her hair color, her hair style, her hair texture, her hair length, whether it looks like she styles her hair or if it's just naturally that way, her tan, the lines around her mouth that made her look like "she would rather laugh than frown" and "the look in her gray eyes let us all know that though she preferred to laugh, she didn't have to." Her being female and Raborn's boss enables Anita to talk about how the Marshal Service has more women in the normal branch than any other law enforcement unit in the country and also were one of the first to allow women to join at all. She says she likes this. I have a hunch that she only likes it because that meant SHE could get to join and she actually doesn't give a shit about other women getting to. Lucy's like that, but hey, I don't try to bill Lucy as giving any shit about ANYONE, let alone being a ~great feminist warrior~ like LKH tries to bill Anita as.
Clark says that "Marshal Forrester ran their names by us before Marshal Blake's backup landed. We've done background checks on all of them. They don't have criminal records, and technically under the new law it wouldn't matter anyway." Raborn says that it should matter, and I agree. Seriously how the fuck does a law get passed that says you can deputize anyone you want up to and including people with criminal records?! Oh well, LKH screws all other logic in the world for Anita, why should I be shocked she'd screw logic when it comes to the law too? Clark says maybe but it doesn't. Anita and Edward look nice and calm while Raborn paces angrily and Anita thinks about how this surely makes them seem much less like "a problem about to happen" like Raborn and how she bets Clark will like them better than him and her tone is so sneering and smug, like a bully framing some other kid, that I just want to PUNCH HER IN THE FACE...though I want to do that a lot, you've probably noticed.
Raborn puts his hands on Clark's desk and tries to "sort of loom over her" and Clark does not look happy about it. Raborn says to look at the backup Anita brought, that they're clearly thugs, and they're not innocent just because they've never been convicted of a crime. Anita inwardly agrees that "I knew what they looked like, and innocent wasn't a word that anyone would have used to describe them." Since, of course, you can tell all about a person just by their physical appearance! Clark has more sense than Anita though and tells Raborn that no conviction is exactly what innocence means under the law, that he should know that, and to "get the fuck off my desk." Anita thinks about how she would handle this situation so much better than Raborn, and I have to laugh at this because we all know how Anita takes to ever being chewed out by anyone including her own superiors.
Raborn backs away and Anita wonders why, since "he didn't know me well enough to hate me this much personally", he is "hurting his career" over her. The answer, Anita, is that you are a Mary Sue, which means you are the center of everyone's world, the number one thing on their minds, and they behave accordingly, whether it's falling all over themselves for you or being consumed with jealous hatred that even your deludedly egomanical self can see is illogical. Thanks for hanging the lampshade there, by the way! Clark then looms a little right back over Raborn and Anita of course mentions how "I've been told I can do the same thing" in regards to seeming taller than she actually is because no one can do anything neat without it being compared to Anita, whom we must always know can also do it just as well if not better (unless it's something ~girly~ because it's BAD to do those things well!)
Clark tells him Anita is within her rights to deputize anyone as a preternatural-branch marshal. Raborn says that law "was written for emergency situations in the field when a marshal doesn't have access to other marshals for backup. It was never intended to allow us to pick and choose whom we deputize for a given job when there are enough marshals to get the job done." IF YOU WANT TO MAKE A STRAWMAN IT'S BEST NOT TO GIVE HIM AN ACTUAL LOGICAL REASONABLE POINT THAT THE READERS AGREE WITH, LKH. That said, I guess we can't accuse her of having anyone who doesn't like what Anita does being portrayed as an idiot at this point. In fact, if I hadn't read the rest of the chapter, I'd be impressed by this and think that LKH was growing as an author by giving someone an argument against Anita that is rational, that the reader can agree with, and not having it being born out of some personal grudge against Anita...but by the end of the chapter, that is not, alas, the case.
Clark tells Raborn that deciding things like that is up to the legislative and judicial branches, that they're the branch of government that just carries out the law as it is written, and unless the wording gets changed then he can't say boo about Anita and her choice in deputies. She then tells Anita and Edward to go do their job and Raborn to "get the fuck out of my office and stay the fuck out of my way" and I have read revenge fics by 13 year olds that didn't feel this petty and wish-fulfilling. Anita and Edward go to the hall where the backup is waiting, being watched by "other people with badges" who Anita says are "probably just as unhappy as Raborn" and also mentions how "you could pick out which of my backup was ex-military" because of the way they stand and then THE NEVER-ENDING PARADE OF DESCRIPTION STARTS! Now, I could just tell you "She goes on and on about what Bobby Lee, Lisandro, Socrates,Ares, Nicky, and Domino look like" and sklip over it entirely, but I want you to really and truly grasp the length and inanity of what I went through. I do not have the strength of fingers to type out the entire paragraphs, so you will have to use your imagination from these jot list to gauge just how much I suffered.
We start with Bobby Lee, the ONLY male wererat in the series who is not Hispanic, who gets a big fat paragraph before he speaks:
- He's thinner than last time she saw him
- The sun has paled his blond hair and tanned him "darker than most blonds could get". Yeah you guys I can't remember the last time I saw a blonde with a tan, can you? *sarcasm*
- Brown eyes, gold-framed glasses
- Older than the rest of 'em but only shoes in fine lines around his eyes and a few on his face
- "He'd always been tall and fairly lean, but he'd been out of the country on some secret assignment for the wererats for a long time" which Anita clearly knows nothing about and thus makes me hope it involves taking her down...shit, I should have used that to have the rats be in cahoots with Lucy from the start in SvS! Damn, too late now "and wherever he'd been, it had carved him down." Which is all we're ever going to learn about it, I expect, despite the fact it sounds way more interesting than this book has been so far.
- "There was a look in his eyes now" a look of boredeom? "almost a flinching, as if whatever he'd seen, or done, had worn the inside down as much as the outside" And I'm sure the fact that YOU RAPED HIM THROUGH RAFAEL has nothing to do with him flinching and looking worn-down inside when he looks at you.
Then, at last, he speaks and says "Well, darlin', are we staying, or going?" and Anita says his accent is deeper than before and she doesn't think it's because he went anywhere Southern but because it's "a piece of home they couldn't take from him" and that he "seemed to need all his down-home charm like a shield against whatever had taken the shine from his eyes." I will be very, very surprised if whatever fucked Bobby-Lee upisn't Anita is ever addressed or explored. Also, if his accent is all that deeper, shouldn't he drop the 'g' for stayin' and goin'? Anita tells him staying, and then we get to Lisandro, who also gets a paragraph.
- Tall, dark, handsome
-Black hair in a ponytail
- "Wasn't quite as pretty as Bernardo, but he was ballparking."
- "He looked like the proverbial Hispanic leading man." What? I...I have no idea what she means. The Latin lover stereotype? Antonio Banderas? Who or what the fuck is the supposedly-proverbial Hispanic leading man? And when will she learn how to use the word 'proverbial' correctly?
- Is married, has two kids, coaches their soccer teams (which means his wife must be, gasp, a literal soccer mom, something else Anita hates and associates with ~the mundanes~)
- "We'd had sex together once for a sort of emergency feed" I love how she makes it sound totally consensual and like something they agreed on
- "To keep his wife from trying to kill us both" again, way to make it sound like it was in any way his idea, more likely she'd just try to kill you for RAPING HER HUSBAND "we'd agreed it would never happen again." Well, yeah, he's Hispanic and a rat, two things you never do, but him having a wife and not wanting to fuck you meant he had to be made an exception and an example of, like with Joseph. Much like how you made an exception for Rafael because he's a leader and YOU GOTTA COLLECT 'EM ALL!
Lisandro asks why Raborn is against her. Instead of saying "well, he raised a pretty good point, I think he's concerned about me abusing this law and finds it suspcious I would bring you in when I have all these other marshals around" Anita tells him she has no idea. Lisandro "gave me a look" and Anita tells him she isn't lying, which makes me think that this look probably said something like "yeah, sure Anita, you probably either deliberately pissed him off or you're doing something blatantly stupid/illegal". Edward tells Lisandro that Raborn took an instant dislike to Anita. Socrates suggests that maybe it's because Anita is a woman and better at his job than he is, which is fucking laughable to me because Anita really has not done all that well at this job at all. Socrates then gets his requisite paragraph.
- Skin the color of coffee with a little cream added. I liked the description the *first* time she used it for a lightskinned person of color. Now, however, I hate it because it's the only way she seems to know how to describe them at all.
- "Hair was short, clipped close to his head, just long enough on top that he could style it, but today he'd chosen not to, so that the hair formed tiny little curls. It looked...cuter than his usual, but he'd actually explained that this was natural, and cops didn't like you styling your hair on the job. He was an ex-cop, so he'd know." HOW RELEVANT IS HIS HAIR GOING TO BE TO THE PLOT BECAUSE AFTER THAT IT HAD BETTER BE THE MOST MAJOR MACGUFFIN EVER
- Not as tall as the others, less than six feet by a few inches
- tends to round his shoulders and slump a little, making Anita think he got his height early in life and never lost habit of trying to hide it
Someone (not sure who) asks if "You think it's as simple as that? Raborn is a misogynist?" and someone, I think Socrates, answers with his his "dark brown eyes""that spark he could get" that that's a big word just to say he doesn't think much of women.
Look, I'm all for calling out and exploring the fact that sexism is still very much a thing and that it is often institutionalized to the point of not only being ignored but sometimes even condoned (for instance, the philosophy department of academia is still basically a hotbed of people trying to 'intellectually' justify misogyny and debating whether or not women can even BE philosophers for crying out loud) but not only is LKH ill-equipped to do that due not only to her clumsy ham-handed execution but also her own disgusting vat of internalized misogyny, this also NOT A CASE THAT HAS ANY SUPPORT. Raborn has not made any point against Anita that is not valid. He has also not been shown to only make those points against women/let men get away with doing the same damn thing. He clearly works with and under women such as Stavros and Clark, so he's had an opportunity to build a history with sexist behavior, but he did not display this behavior to either of them, and Clark did not indicate that he had a history of going after female officers like this, which I feel sure she would have if this was a repeat incident. What really wows me is that, as the writer, LKH could easily write all this differently so that he *was* overtly hostile to women in general, not just Anita, yet she seems to think that doesn't matter, that it's only that he is hostile to Anita that matters. She really believes that "not liking Anita for any reason, even totally rational non-gendered ones" is equivalent to misogyny regardless of how the person does or doesn't react to any other woman. It's very, very weird. Although it sort of makes sense, given that she seems to approve of sexism galore when it's against any woman besides Anita.
Anyway, Anita grins and says she's not just a pretty face, she has a vocabulary, and Aresh gushes that "You gotta watch the big words there, ma'am, we humble bodyguards don't know what you're talking about" and I know he's clearly joking but I still have to gag. And here comes his paragraph!
- Just under six feet
- Blonde hair
- Brown eyes
- Has now "lost the desert tan he'd come to us with"
- Has been out of the military on medical discharge for awhile but still can't shake saying sir and ma'am or the military stance
- "Had tried letting his hair grow out, but finally he'd cut it short again, keeping the top long, but his hair was as straight as Scorates' was curly, so the longish top spilled over and to one side of his face" I AM GOING TO CURL UP AND CRY GUYS I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE HAIR TALK
- "He had a habit of pushing it away from his face, as if it bugged him. I was betting
next trip to the barbershop he'd be evenly short." MAKE IT STOP
- "Socrates had tried to help him style it when the top was longer so it was in sort of anime spikes" OH MY GOD HE'S GOKU? "but that just wasn't Ares. If he hadn't caught lycanthropy" he didn't catch lycanthropy, he's a werehyena, not a werewolf, he caught...what is the Greek word for hyena...*looks it up* apparently it is hyaina...he caught hyainanthropy! "he'd probably have been lifetime Army." And, of course, Army people never ever *want* to style their hair any other way except that which is required by the Army, I see.
"But the real anime hair was Nicky's." OH GOD HERE WE GO
- "He was white-bread enough to have yellow-blond hair""Shaved sort on the sides, but long on top so it spilled out over one half of his face." I think she means long bangs, but it sounds like a hideous mullet eating his face.
- Compared to Ares it's more obvious that "there was some body or wave to Nicky's hair" because Ares' is "straight as the proverbial board" while Nicky's "overly long fall of hair had a sort of curve in it."
- She says the two of them look like they're going clubbing or to an anime festival. I am starting to hate the word anime just because it's been on this page about three times in relation to her stupid harem and their hair.
- Anita says Ares dyes his hair to remind himself he isn't in the military anymore, while Nicky grows his out to hide his missing eye, which was removed by "the woman who raised him, who was technically his mother" by 'technically' does she mean biologically or legally? "because he tried to say no to her sexual abuse." SEE, OTHER WOMEN SEXUALLY ABUSE TEENAGE BOYS YOUNGER THAN CYNRIC AND WITH VIOLENCE, ANITA IS BETTER BY COMPARISON!
God, can we get ONE fucking sweetie without sexual abuse in his background? Bonus points for the sexuality of another woman besides Anita being portrayed as evil, twisted, and predatory! Seriously, I am having a hard time thinking of women in the Anitaverse who are shown to be sexually active who are NOT like this and also not either made "passive victims" (Envy, Jade, Bibiana, Vivian, etc.) or lesbians (and sometimes they get this treatment too, like Yasmeen). And honestly, it feels like a repeat of Stephen and Gregory...their father sexually abused them and pimped them out, Nicky's mother sexual abuses him and cuts out his eye. I'm also disappointed because I was hoping he lost it in some badass lion-fight or something. Not to mention this is the first we're hearing of it and she just fucking casually drops it in there, which is really NOT the way to handle something like this! And hey, does this remind anyone of how Anita LET JOSEPH AND HIS FAMILY BE KILLED WHEN *HE* SAID NO TO *HER* SEXUAL ABUSE?
She also adds that "Women are less likely to be active abusers, but when they are, it's usually more violent." I have no idea how trues this is or not, but what do you guys think, does Anita qualify as an active abuser? I think she's equal parts active (and violent) and equal parts abuse-by-neglect myself.
More on his looks now that she's dropped that bombshell! because hey, what's really important here, right?
- One "lovely blue eye" and one "smooth empty socket of scar tissue" hidden completely by his hair...dude, as much as his hair may remind her of anime, hair is NOT a solid mass, this isn't going to work. Why can't he just get a glass eye? He can just take it out before he shifts.
- "The hair might have made people take him less than seriously but he he was six feet even, and the body that went with the rest of him" what? the body that went with the rest of him/ what? "made certain that anyone who knew what they were looking at" so, anyone who knows he's a werelion, which would mean...no one outside the Circus? "wouldn't underestimate Nicky."
- "All the guards lifed weights as part of their training, but either Nicky hit them harder or genetics made him bulk up" so "he wasn't the tallest guy waiting for me in the hallway, but he was the biggest" so the one that's a part of her harem is also the bestest at getting buff because HER BOYS ARE ALWAYS THE BESTEST AT THINGS JUST LIKE HER CUZ THEY'RE HERS AND HER TOYS ARE THE BESTEST!
He says hi to her, she says hi back. "That was it, not the most romantic, but there was more emotion in those little words than in anything I'd said to anyone else. She explains to us how "Nicky was my lover, and my bride, in that Dracula, Prince of Darkness way." Of all the ways she could have explained what a Bride is...also, she referenced "Dracula: prince of Darkness" movie in Bullet too, when she described the scene in Clayton's crypt. Firstly it's kind of awkward and not-good-writing if you have to describe stuff in your own work by likening it to other works, and secondly, as I've mentioned before, I really doubt that vampire movies would be at all the same in this world as they are in ours. "It made us closer than just dating ever would have." yeah, so you get to bypass all the actual development of the relationship, because that would be interesting and realistic and we can't have that! Dating is for you mundane losers! Also, gotta love how she leaves out all the parts about DESTROYING HIS FREE WILL AND PERSONALITY and how, by the way, that should make being his lover A BIG FUCKING NO because his consent is GONE.
Now we get Domino!
- Hair is black and white curls, mostly black today, indicating that the last time he shifted he had gone to his black tiger form I WILL NEVER BE OVER HOW DUMB I FIND THIS. She wonders if Ethan's hair will change with his shift.
- Sunglasses over his eyes, which are "deep reddish orange with spirals of gold through them" like those of a black tiger, not the blue eyes of white ones
- An inch shorter than Nicky but since he likes boots with heels that adds a few inches, whereas "Nicky was more a jogging-shoe kind of guy, but then he wasn't insecure about his height, not in the least. Domino wasn't insecure either, he just liked boots." JUST KILL ME I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE
- She explains he's one of her tigers to call, and how that's different from what Nicky is because "Domino had free will. He could argue with me, fight, and tell me I was wrong." But he never does though. Oh well, at least she brought up the NO FREE WILL shit with Nicky.
- Looks less muscled than he is because of the jacket "but then clothes can hide a lot of good things, and I knew that what lay under his clothes was very good" UGH I GRIMACED
She smiles at Domino, Ares says he feels ignored, Anita says sorry, Ares is about to say something but then looks at something behind her, as does everyone else, and it's Raborn approaching them, out of Clark's earshot. Anita asks what he wants, he asks in an "offensive" tone who is in charge of the muscle, Nicky says Anita is, Raborn's look "said clearly, I don't believe you" which makes no sense since he knows Anita picked these guys, that's what he was complaining about. Ares sees the look and jokes that "It disappoints me, too, but she's it" and Raborn asks what 'it' means, and Ares says "The boss, the big cheese, the honcho, or honchette" and Raborn asks "Why would you listen to her?" A VERY GOOD QUESTION, THANK YOU! Ares asks if they have to explain themselves to Raborn, Anita says "No, we don't" which I feel like LKH probably took way too much relish in typing, Ares, whom we are informed has olive-green eyes, tells Raborn with a grin that "You heard her." Yeah, LKH is enjoying this.
Raborn asks if they are all fucking her. Anita "felt Edward tense beside me" and since he then uses his Ted voice to tell Raborn that was over the line (complete with pronouncing "pardner" as "partner" which to me sounds more fake honestly) I hope that he's just pretending to tense so that Raborn thinks Ted is...but Anita tells us "his Ted voice was a little strained around the edges" LOL YEAH, I'M SURE EDWARD IS SO OFFENDED BY ANYTHING ANYONE SAYS ABOUT ANITA. And then Anita talks about how "scary" all her other men look and spends a paragraph comparing them to predators waiting along a game trail and how the energy coming off them is tickling down her spine...you know what, LKH, why don't you just make this little revenge fantasy complete and have them all eat Raborn on the spot and then, instead of getting shot, the entire department throws them a party for a job well-done? It honestly cannot get any more juvenile as it is, so just go whole hog!
But, nope, Anita tells them "Easy, guys" and Domino says Raborn "doesn't get to talk to you like that." Makes me wonder from that wording if there are people who do? Anyway, first sign you may have picked bad deputies: they act like they're going to attack a guy just because he insults someone. She then threatens to report Raborn for sexual harassment, which sadly I have to admit would be within her rights; interrogating someone about their sex life is not okay. Yes, even if that person is Anita, especially since this one of the few instances where she wasn't advertising the fact she has multiple sexual relationships (the PDA with Micah and Nate, for instance). Sorry, but I can't just say "well, this protection doesn't apply to this person because I don't like them" even when it comes to fiction...that's what LKH/Anita does. What I *can* say is that it's still totally bogus when Anita decides that "Socrates was right; it was the fact that I was a woman."
I believe I have already gone over why this is a load of crap and how Raborn didn't subject any other woman to this treatment when he was on-screen with them, nor was it indicated by Clark that he had a history of that when it would have been relevant. I admit it is *possible* that it could be because Anita is a woman who is particularly known to be sexually active, since there are indeed different standards around that then for men, but given her overall shitty and inept behavior so far on this case, I'm more inclined to say that Raborn reported her because he's a good cop and saw an abuse of a law, and any personal dislike for her is because she's rude, a loose cannon, and runs off during hunts with no explanation. It definitely is not because "Cops usually thought policewomen were only two things: bitches or sluts. I had a reputation for both." No, Anita, it is YOU who thinks women in general are always one of those.
I've seen a lot of sporkers and commenters say that LKH must hate cops because of how she writes them, and I've always said that, based on her blogs and how she brags about having cop friends, gushes over hanging out with anyone ex-military, etc., I think it's that she idolizes them for this false image she's got of them as being these stone-cold license-to-kill badasses who get to take their guns anywhere they want, and because she thinks they're so awesome, she constantly has to have Anita one-up them to prove how awesome she is, since besting cops is a BIG DEAL in LKH's head...and since she doesn't know how to write Anita being good at her job so much as other people being bad at theirs, the cops end up incompetent as hell. And as for the supposed Boys-Only attitude she's brought up before...remember, to LKH, misogyny is cool, and if Anita can prove herself to said Boys Club types then that means Anita must be better than all those Other Girls who couldn't (or, as in the case of Thurgood and Stavros, couldn't do it without *gag* 'basically becoming a man' in LKH's view). But comment after comment like these has made me think there's something more too, something that is closer to hate...LKH is jealous of cops and military too. It goes hand in hand with the fangirling, but it also, consciously or not, makes her resent them for getting to be so cool and darkitty-dark and get-to-have-IRL-authority when she can't, and I'm willing to bet she thinks that's unfair, so that's where we get the now-regular Meanie Cops like Shaw and Raborn, there for Anita to cut down for thinking she doesn't deserve her badge (which probably also stands in for us haters who think the same) and to imply that they don't deserve theirs (Raborn risking his career over personal grudges and having a gut that might not let him pass his next physical, for instance.)
Raborn asks since when is the truth grounds for harassment, Anita "thought of several replies, none of them helpful" so she says nothing and Raborn asks if it's true then. Now, I'm sure you think it's odd that Anita for once did not have a 'witty' retort that left Raborn speechless instead. LKH has a reason for that, and it's so Anita can do this instead: Smiles, points to Nicky and Domino, and says she's fucking him and him. She asks if she forgot anyone, all of them shake their heads, Bobby Lee gives Raborn a threatening look. I guess he doesn't like being reminded that he was indeed metaphysically fucked against his will via Rafael and dislikes even more now seeing that Anita doesn't even count it as sex let alone rape, and since there's no point getting mad at Anita, as there's nothing he can do about her, he's directing his anger at Raborn instead for bringing it up.
"See, Raborn, I'm only fucking two of them. Does that make you feel any better?" and Raborn turns red from blushing, then purple from anger, and Anita describes her own tone/smile as "sweet and insulting." Oh grow up, dear god. Anita asks if he has any other questions, and then Clark comes out of her office and tells Raborn to go Oregon. He asks why, considering they have a serial killer case going on. She repeats that she's his superior and she's telling him to go to Oregon (doesn't say why) and if he questions her again he'll go to Alaska. Raborn asks why, Clark says "Because I'm tired of your attitude and because I can. One more word and I promise you that you will be seeing so much real estate that by the time you drive back this case will be over." She fails to mentioned "I'm just here as part of LKH's revenge fantasy against bullies and haters, and she wants someone in a position of authority to chew you out because that's who you represent, and that's also why I'm a woman and they're the sexist, because they're always saying LKH is so sexist!"
Raborn gets really red and Anita thinks that "eventually he was going to stroke out if he didn't learn to control himself." Oh that is SO hilarious coming from her. Clark gives him a note saying where to go and what she wants him to pick up. Now, maybe this turns out to be a serious plot point and that's why Anita is for now left out on whatever it says and why Clark wanted to write it instead of say it...but I think it's so LKH didn't have to think of anything. Raborn marches off. Clark tells Anita that bringing in lovers as deputies won't help her reputation, Anita assures Clark that "neither of them is just a pretty package" and "they'll be an asset to the case." Clark says "they better be more than a booty call, Blake. No offense, gentlemen." Shouldn't them being her lovers indicate she'll have a conflict of interest when it comes to putting them in the line of fire? Nicky says none taken, Clark sighs and asks Anita to prove to her that they're more than just pretty, that they can "help us catch these things." Anita asks about her word choice, Clark says that nothing in this case is human "so until I have another word for them, they're things, perps, monsters. Now get out there and do something useful." And then she goes back to her office and they do down the hallway...so much for proving anything to her?
Lisandro says Raborn will be trouble, Anita says he'll try. I'd like to know how the hell he'd even try, considering he'll be trying to Oregon? Domino, rather than asking that, asks how they'll stop him, Edward says they'll do the job so well that Raborn can't come back at Anita. Ares says the job is to kill the Harlequin right (without using their name, of course) and Anita says yep and Ares (who is mentioned now as having a delicate face...see, this is how you describe people organically, not an all-at-once infodump!) smiles and says they'll be good at that. They all nod, and "I realized in that moment we were a pack, a pride, we were a unit. We were--us." I am---rolling my eyes! "And for the first time since I understood that it was the Harlequin killing the weretigers, I felt...hopeful." I don't. Not for the quality of this book, at least.
CHAPTER TALLIES
What Does That Mean: 1
Whitebread: 1
My Sanity: AT AN ALL-TIME ZERO!
Bad Guys: 10
Can't Say Penis: 18
Curves: 3
Dead Mother:1
Flavor: 2
Guy/Girl Stuff: 19
Manita: 7
Mood Ring Eyes: 3
Needless Re-clarification: 22
Non-Answer Answers: 2
Pretty To Think So: 2
Racial Angst: 1
Short: 12
Skinny Women Suck: 3
Smells Like Home: 3
Smile Doesn't Reach Eyes: 3
Sooo: 8
Spill: 4
Sweeties: 3
Things Low In My Body: 2
Wet and Tight: 1
What Does That Mean: 14
Whitebread: 3
Unrelated: So, you know Operation Pied Piper? When the British government moved urban kids out to more rural areas so that they would be safe from German bombings in WWII? ALL THE YOUNG SWANMANES TOTALLY GOT MOVED OUT TO RUTHVEN'S PLACE
ALL OF THEM
AT ONCE
WHAT FUN
FUN LIKE A BARREL OF MONKEYS
BY WHICH I MEAN FUN LIKE TINY SCREECHY BITING POO-FLINGING THINGS EVERYWHERE
has to save their downy asses every two seconds from moor-beasts because they have viciousness of swans and illusion-of-immortality of kids and thus are constantly going after hellhunds and lindworms and what and thus ENDANGERING HIS INVESTMENT IN THEM DAMMIT
...he's not happy.
UR BABYSITTING, CELIA! NO THE THERIAN EMPLOYEES CAN'T DO IT, they won't be able to resist snacking on them when they're this size
Even if you have no interest in my characters or stories, I will bet anything you'd rather be reading that than...
This chapter is sixteen pages. Most of it is due to literally PARAGRAPHS devoted to the description of the hair and eyes and clothes of characters. And I don't mean all the descriptions add up together to multiple paragraphs, I mean multiple paragraphs FOR EACH CHARACTER. What isn't description is basically Raborn getting demonized and reamed for being a meanie-poo to Anita, with the addition of straw-misogyny and LKH trying to prove she and Anita aren't themselves misogynists by throwing in A NON-EVIL COP-LADY...who is only non-evil because she takes Anita's side and then gets the hell off the stage. Funny, isn't it, how that seems to happen to every 'good' woman? After all, Kelly and Rosamond from Bullet are never heard from again, and poor Laila Karlton was put out of commission right after she 'bonded' with Anita...LKH, if you want to prove to your detractors that not every woman in your series besides Anita is a bitch/slut/hater/etc., you might want to have them actually EXIST for more than one chapter. Even poor Claudia only ever turns up once in a blue moon, and only then just to serve Anita!
HIT LIST, CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT
"We were all set to go hunt the bad guys our way" with sex? "with muscle from home to back us" good, good, about time, let's get going "and then we both got phone calls." AW NO COME ON NOT MORE DELAYS AUGH WHYYYY. "We were called into the office to explain ourselves. I'd never been called by any marshal brass to explain myself before." With all the crap you pull? BULLSHIT! "When I asked Edward if it was a first for him, too, he just nodded." I hope this means you two have finally been found out for what you are. "We were actually going to ignore the calls" CAN YOU EVEN DO THAT? WOULDN'T THAT BE A CRIME? "but some police officers in marked cars showed up with orders to escort us to the meeting." Clearly they know you pretty well already. Anita asks who Edward pissed off while she was unconscious, Edward says he hasn't done anything, Anita repeats that she was unconscious so it couldn't have been her.
Bad Guys: 1
Needless Re-clarification: 1
"We tried to leave my homeboys out of it" She wrote this. She typed this line completely seriously. There is nothing in context to suggest we are meant to read it in a tongue-in-cheek tone. "but the uniforms had orders to bring in Marshal Forrester and Marshal Blake and the illegal backup" and the use of the term illegal backup is "a clue as to why we were being called to explain ourselves." Well, good. Of course "it was Marshal Raborn who had tattled on us to Teacher. It wasn't his warrant, so it wasn't his business." He's a law officer. You are doing something illegal. Therefore it is his business, you petulant brat. Anita complains to us about how it's his fault she's being brought in like this while she could be tracking the Harlequin because he busted her instead of BLAMING HERSELF FOR DOING SOMETHING ILLEGAL WHILE ON AN IMPORTANT CASE. "Night would fall, the vampires would rise, and we were stuxck playing departmental politics." And again, whose fault is that? If you don't want to behave like a marshal, don't be one. I realize that cops who 'don't play by the rules' are a staple of noir, of cop shows, detective stories, etc., which AB is supposed to be in part, but Anita does it too extremely and too unnecessarily for it to seem justified to me (seriously JUST HAVING OLAF OUT ALONE...!) or realistic for her to still have her badge. She doesn't break rules in the name of justice or saving people or even out of some personal grudge over a bad guy she'll do anything to get, she does it because she just doesn't seem to think they apply to her, or, hell, sometimes out of what seems downright spite and to show she can.
Anita and Edward are in an office with Raborn and the immediate supervisor, a Marshal Rita Clark, while Anita's backup waits in the hallway. Half the page, maybe a bit more, is devoted to telling us what Clark looks like: her height, her body type, her hair color, her hair style, her hair texture, her hair length, whether it looks like she styles her hair or if it's just naturally that way, her tan, the lines around her mouth that made her look like "she would rather laugh than frown" and "the look in her gray eyes let us all know that though she preferred to laugh, she didn't have to." Her being female and Raborn's boss enables Anita to talk about how the Marshal Service has more women in the normal branch than any other law enforcement unit in the country and also were one of the first to allow women to join at all. She says she likes this. I have a hunch that she only likes it because that meant SHE could get to join and she actually doesn't give a shit about other women getting to. Lucy's like that, but hey, I don't try to bill Lucy as giving any shit about ANYONE, let alone being a ~great feminist warrior~ like LKH tries to bill Anita as.
Clark says that "Marshal Forrester ran their names by us before Marshal Blake's backup landed. We've done background checks on all of them. They don't have criminal records, and technically under the new law it wouldn't matter anyway." Raborn says that it should matter, and I agree. Seriously how the fuck does a law get passed that says you can deputize anyone you want up to and including people with criminal records?! Oh well, LKH screws all other logic in the world for Anita, why should I be shocked she'd screw logic when it comes to the law too? Clark says maybe but it doesn't. Anita and Edward look nice and calm while Raborn paces angrily and Anita thinks about how this surely makes them seem much less like "a problem about to happen" like Raborn and how she bets Clark will like them better than him and her tone is so sneering and smug, like a bully framing some other kid, that I just want to PUNCH HER IN THE FACE...though I want to do that a lot, you've probably noticed.
Raborn puts his hands on Clark's desk and tries to "sort of loom over her" and Clark does not look happy about it. Raborn says to look at the backup Anita brought, that they're clearly thugs, and they're not innocent just because they've never been convicted of a crime. Anita inwardly agrees that "I knew what they looked like, and innocent wasn't a word that anyone would have used to describe them." Since, of course, you can tell all about a person just by their physical appearance! Clark has more sense than Anita though and tells Raborn that no conviction is exactly what innocence means under the law, that he should know that, and to "get the fuck off my desk." Anita thinks about how she would handle this situation so much better than Raborn, and I have to laugh at this because we all know how Anita takes to ever being chewed out by anyone including her own superiors.
Raborn backs away and Anita wonders why, since "he didn't know me well enough to hate me this much personally", he is "hurting his career" over her. The answer, Anita, is that you are a Mary Sue, which means you are the center of everyone's world, the number one thing on their minds, and they behave accordingly, whether it's falling all over themselves for you or being consumed with jealous hatred that even your deludedly egomanical self can see is illogical. Thanks for hanging the lampshade there, by the way! Clark then looms a little right back over Raborn and Anita of course mentions how "I've been told I can do the same thing" in regards to seeming taller than she actually is because no one can do anything neat without it being compared to Anita, whom we must always know can also do it just as well if not better (unless it's something ~girly~ because it's BAD to do those things well!)
Clark tells him Anita is within her rights to deputize anyone as a preternatural-branch marshal. Raborn says that law "was written for emergency situations in the field when a marshal doesn't have access to other marshals for backup. It was never intended to allow us to pick and choose whom we deputize for a given job when there are enough marshals to get the job done." IF YOU WANT TO MAKE A STRAWMAN IT'S BEST NOT TO GIVE HIM AN ACTUAL LOGICAL REASONABLE POINT THAT THE READERS AGREE WITH, LKH. That said, I guess we can't accuse her of having anyone who doesn't like what Anita does being portrayed as an idiot at this point. In fact, if I hadn't read the rest of the chapter, I'd be impressed by this and think that LKH was growing as an author by giving someone an argument against Anita that is rational, that the reader can agree with, and not having it being born out of some personal grudge against Anita...but by the end of the chapter, that is not, alas, the case.
Clark tells Raborn that deciding things like that is up to the legislative and judicial branches, that they're the branch of government that just carries out the law as it is written, and unless the wording gets changed then he can't say boo about Anita and her choice in deputies. She then tells Anita and Edward to go do their job and Raborn to "get the fuck out of my office and stay the fuck out of my way" and I have read revenge fics by 13 year olds that didn't feel this petty and wish-fulfilling. Anita and Edward go to the hall where the backup is waiting, being watched by "other people with badges" who Anita says are "probably just as unhappy as Raborn" and also mentions how "you could pick out which of my backup was ex-military" because of the way they stand and then THE NEVER-ENDING PARADE OF DESCRIPTION STARTS! Now, I could just tell you "She goes on and on about what Bobby Lee, Lisandro, Socrates,Ares, Nicky, and Domino look like" and sklip over it entirely, but I want you to really and truly grasp the length and inanity of what I went through. I do not have the strength of fingers to type out the entire paragraphs, so you will have to use your imagination from these jot list to gauge just how much I suffered.
We start with Bobby Lee, the ONLY male wererat in the series who is not Hispanic, who gets a big fat paragraph before he speaks:
- He's thinner than last time she saw him
- The sun has paled his blond hair and tanned him "darker than most blonds could get". Yeah you guys I can't remember the last time I saw a blonde with a tan, can you? *sarcasm*
- Brown eyes, gold-framed glasses
- Older than the rest of 'em but only shoes in fine lines around his eyes and a few on his face
- "He'd always been tall and fairly lean, but he'd been out of the country on some secret assignment for the wererats for a long time" which Anita clearly knows nothing about and thus makes me hope it involves taking her down...shit, I should have used that to have the rats be in cahoots with Lucy from the start in SvS! Damn, too late now "and wherever he'd been, it had carved him down." Which is all we're ever going to learn about it, I expect, despite the fact it sounds way more interesting than this book has been so far.
- "There was a look in his eyes now" a look of boredeom? "almost a flinching, as if whatever he'd seen, or done, had worn the inside down as much as the outside" And I'm sure the fact that YOU RAPED HIM THROUGH RAFAEL has nothing to do with him flinching and looking worn-down inside when he looks at you.
Then, at last, he speaks and says "Well, darlin', are we staying, or going?" and Anita says his accent is deeper than before and she doesn't think it's because he went anywhere Southern but because it's "a piece of home they couldn't take from him" and that he "seemed to need all his down-home charm like a shield against whatever had taken the shine from his eyes." I will be very, very surprised if whatever fucked Bobby-Lee up
- Tall, dark, handsome
-Black hair in a ponytail
- "Wasn't quite as pretty as Bernardo, but he was ballparking."
- "He looked like the proverbial Hispanic leading man." What? I...I have no idea what she means. The Latin lover stereotype? Antonio Banderas? Who or what the fuck is the supposedly-proverbial Hispanic leading man? And when will she learn how to use the word 'proverbial' correctly?
- Is married, has two kids, coaches their soccer teams (which means his wife must be, gasp, a literal soccer mom, something else Anita hates and associates with ~the mundanes~)
- "We'd had sex together once for a sort of emergency feed" I love how she makes it sound totally consensual and like something they agreed on
- "To keep his wife from trying to kill us both" again, way to make it sound like it was in any way his idea, more likely she'd just try to kill you for RAPING HER HUSBAND "we'd agreed it would never happen again." Well, yeah, he's Hispanic and a rat, two things you never do, but him having a wife and not wanting to fuck you meant he had to be made an exception and an example of, like with Joseph. Much like how you made an exception for Rafael because he's a leader and YOU GOTTA COLLECT 'EM ALL!
Lisandro asks why Raborn is against her. Instead of saying "well, he raised a pretty good point, I think he's concerned about me abusing this law and finds it suspcious I would bring you in when I have all these other marshals around" Anita tells him she has no idea. Lisandro "gave me a look" and Anita tells him she isn't lying, which makes me think that this look probably said something like "yeah, sure Anita, you probably either deliberately pissed him off or you're doing something blatantly stupid/illegal". Edward tells Lisandro that Raborn took an instant dislike to Anita. Socrates suggests that maybe it's because Anita is a woman and better at his job than he is, which is fucking laughable to me because Anita really has not done all that well at this job at all. Socrates then gets his requisite paragraph.
- Skin the color of coffee with a little cream added. I liked the description the *first* time she used it for a lightskinned person of color. Now, however, I hate it because it's the only way she seems to know how to describe them at all.
- "Hair was short, clipped close to his head, just long enough on top that he could style it, but today he'd chosen not to, so that the hair formed tiny little curls. It looked...cuter than his usual, but he'd actually explained that this was natural, and cops didn't like you styling your hair on the job. He was an ex-cop, so he'd know." HOW RELEVANT IS HIS HAIR GOING TO BE TO THE PLOT BECAUSE AFTER THAT IT HAD BETTER BE THE MOST MAJOR MACGUFFIN EVER
- Not as tall as the others, less than six feet by a few inches
- tends to round his shoulders and slump a little, making Anita think he got his height early in life and never lost habit of trying to hide it
Someone (not sure who) asks if "You think it's as simple as that? Raborn is a misogynist?" and someone, I think Socrates, answers with his his "dark brown eyes""that spark he could get" that that's a big word just to say he doesn't think much of women.
Look, I'm all for calling out and exploring the fact that sexism is still very much a thing and that it is often institutionalized to the point of not only being ignored but sometimes even condoned (for instance, the philosophy department of academia is still basically a hotbed of people trying to 'intellectually' justify misogyny and debating whether or not women can even BE philosophers for crying out loud) but not only is LKH ill-equipped to do that due not only to her clumsy ham-handed execution but also her own disgusting vat of internalized misogyny, this also NOT A CASE THAT HAS ANY SUPPORT. Raborn has not made any point against Anita that is not valid. He has also not been shown to only make those points against women/let men get away with doing the same damn thing. He clearly works with and under women such as Stavros and Clark, so he's had an opportunity to build a history with sexist behavior, but he did not display this behavior to either of them, and Clark did not indicate that he had a history of going after female officers like this, which I feel sure she would have if this was a repeat incident. What really wows me is that, as the writer, LKH could easily write all this differently so that he *was* overtly hostile to women in general, not just Anita, yet she seems to think that doesn't matter, that it's only that he is hostile to Anita that matters. She really believes that "not liking Anita for any reason, even totally rational non-gendered ones" is equivalent to misogyny regardless of how the person does or doesn't react to any other woman. It's very, very weird. Although it sort of makes sense, given that she seems to approve of sexism galore when it's against any woman besides Anita.
Anyway, Anita grins and says she's not just a pretty face, she has a vocabulary, and Aresh gushes that "You gotta watch the big words there, ma'am, we humble bodyguards don't know what you're talking about" and I know he's clearly joking but I still have to gag. And here comes his paragraph!
- Just under six feet
- Blonde hair
- Brown eyes
- Has now "lost the desert tan he'd come to us with"
- Has been out of the military on medical discharge for awhile but still can't shake saying sir and ma'am or the military stance
- "Had tried letting his hair grow out, but finally he'd cut it short again, keeping the top long, but his hair was as straight as Scorates' was curly, so the longish top spilled over and to one side of his face" I AM GOING TO CURL UP AND CRY GUYS I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE HAIR TALK
- "He had a habit of pushing it away from his face, as if it bugged him. I was betting
next trip to the barbershop he'd be evenly short." MAKE IT STOP
- "Socrates had tried to help him style it when the top was longer so it was in sort of anime spikes" OH MY GOD HE'S GOKU? "but that just wasn't Ares. If he hadn't caught lycanthropy" he didn't catch lycanthropy, he's a werehyena, not a werewolf, he caught...what is the Greek word for hyena...*looks it up* apparently it is hyaina...he caught hyainanthropy! "he'd probably have been lifetime Army." And, of course, Army people never ever *want* to style their hair any other way except that which is required by the Army, I see.
"But the real anime hair was Nicky's." OH GOD HERE WE GO
- "He was white-bread enough to have yellow-blond hair""Shaved sort on the sides, but long on top so it spilled out over one half of his face." I think she means long bangs, but it sounds like a hideous mullet eating his face.
- Compared to Ares it's more obvious that "there was some body or wave to Nicky's hair" because Ares' is "straight as the proverbial board" while Nicky's "overly long fall of hair had a sort of curve in it."
- She says the two of them look like they're going clubbing or to an anime festival. I am starting to hate the word anime just because it's been on this page about three times in relation to her stupid harem and their hair.
- Anita says Ares dyes his hair to remind himself he isn't in the military anymore, while Nicky grows his out to hide his missing eye, which was removed by "the woman who raised him, who was technically his mother" by 'technically' does she mean biologically or legally? "because he tried to say no to her sexual abuse." SEE, OTHER WOMEN SEXUALLY ABUSE TEENAGE BOYS YOUNGER THAN CYNRIC AND WITH VIOLENCE, ANITA IS BETTER BY COMPARISON!
God, can we get ONE fucking sweetie without sexual abuse in his background? Bonus points for the sexuality of another woman besides Anita being portrayed as evil, twisted, and predatory! Seriously, I am having a hard time thinking of women in the Anitaverse who are shown to be sexually active who are NOT like this and also not either made "passive victims" (Envy, Jade, Bibiana, Vivian, etc.) or lesbians (and sometimes they get this treatment too, like Yasmeen). And honestly, it feels like a repeat of Stephen and Gregory...their father sexually abused them and pimped them out, Nicky's mother sexual abuses him and cuts out his eye. I'm also disappointed because I was hoping he lost it in some badass lion-fight or something. Not to mention this is the first we're hearing of it and she just fucking casually drops it in there, which is really NOT the way to handle something like this! And hey, does this remind anyone of how Anita LET JOSEPH AND HIS FAMILY BE KILLED WHEN *HE* SAID NO TO *HER* SEXUAL ABUSE?
She also adds that "Women are less likely to be active abusers, but when they are, it's usually more violent." I have no idea how trues this is or not, but what do you guys think, does Anita qualify as an active abuser? I think she's equal parts active (and violent) and equal parts abuse-by-neglect myself.
More on his looks now that she's dropped that bombshell! because hey, what's really important here, right?
- One "lovely blue eye" and one "smooth empty socket of scar tissue" hidden completely by his hair...dude, as much as his hair may remind her of anime, hair is NOT a solid mass, this isn't going to work. Why can't he just get a glass eye? He can just take it out before he shifts.
- "The hair might have made people take him less than seriously but he he was six feet even, and the body that went with the rest of him" what? the body that went with the rest of him/ what? "made certain that anyone who knew what they were looking at" so, anyone who knows he's a werelion, which would mean...no one outside the Circus? "wouldn't underestimate Nicky."
- "All the guards lifed weights as part of their training, but either Nicky hit them harder or genetics made him bulk up" so "he wasn't the tallest guy waiting for me in the hallway, but he was the biggest" so the one that's a part of her harem is also the bestest at getting buff because HER BOYS ARE ALWAYS THE BESTEST AT THINGS JUST LIKE HER CUZ THEY'RE HERS AND HER TOYS ARE THE BESTEST!
He says hi to her, she says hi back. "That was it, not the most romantic, but there was more emotion in those little words than in anything I'd said to anyone else. She explains to us how "Nicky was my lover, and my bride, in that Dracula, Prince of Darkness way." Of all the ways she could have explained what a Bride is...also, she referenced "Dracula: prince of Darkness" movie in Bullet too, when she described the scene in Clayton's crypt. Firstly it's kind of awkward and not-good-writing if you have to describe stuff in your own work by likening it to other works, and secondly, as I've mentioned before, I really doubt that vampire movies would be at all the same in this world as they are in ours. "It made us closer than just dating ever would have." yeah, so you get to bypass all the actual development of the relationship, because that would be interesting and realistic and we can't have that! Dating is for you mundane losers! Also, gotta love how she leaves out all the parts about DESTROYING HIS FREE WILL AND PERSONALITY and how, by the way, that should make being his lover A BIG FUCKING NO because his consent is GONE.
Now we get Domino!
- Hair is black and white curls, mostly black today, indicating that the last time he shifted he had gone to his black tiger form I WILL NEVER BE OVER HOW DUMB I FIND THIS. She wonders if Ethan's hair will change with his shift.
- Sunglasses over his eyes, which are "deep reddish orange with spirals of gold through them" like those of a black tiger, not the blue eyes of white ones
- An inch shorter than Nicky but since he likes boots with heels that adds a few inches, whereas "Nicky was more a jogging-shoe kind of guy, but then he wasn't insecure about his height, not in the least. Domino wasn't insecure either, he just liked boots." JUST KILL ME I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE
- She explains he's one of her tigers to call, and how that's different from what Nicky is because "Domino had free will. He could argue with me, fight, and tell me I was wrong." But he never does though. Oh well, at least she brought up the NO FREE WILL shit with Nicky.
- Looks less muscled than he is because of the jacket "but then clothes can hide a lot of good things, and I knew that what lay under his clothes was very good" UGH I GRIMACED
She smiles at Domino, Ares says he feels ignored, Anita says sorry, Ares is about to say something but then looks at something behind her, as does everyone else, and it's Raborn approaching them, out of Clark's earshot. Anita asks what he wants, he asks in an "offensive" tone who is in charge of the muscle, Nicky says Anita is, Raborn's look "said clearly, I don't believe you" which makes no sense since he knows Anita picked these guys, that's what he was complaining about. Ares sees the look and jokes that "It disappoints me, too, but she's it" and Raborn asks what 'it' means, and Ares says "The boss, the big cheese, the honcho, or honchette" and Raborn asks "Why would you listen to her?" A VERY GOOD QUESTION, THANK YOU! Ares asks if they have to explain themselves to Raborn, Anita says "No, we don't" which I feel like LKH probably took way too much relish in typing, Ares, whom we are informed has olive-green eyes, tells Raborn with a grin that "You heard her." Yeah, LKH is enjoying this.
Raborn asks if they are all fucking her. Anita "felt Edward tense beside me" and since he then uses his Ted voice to tell Raborn that was over the line (complete with pronouncing "pardner" as "partner" which to me sounds more fake honestly) I hope that he's just pretending to tense so that Raborn thinks Ted is...but Anita tells us "his Ted voice was a little strained around the edges" LOL YEAH, I'M SURE EDWARD IS SO OFFENDED BY ANYTHING ANYONE SAYS ABOUT ANITA. And then Anita talks about how "scary" all her other men look and spends a paragraph comparing them to predators waiting along a game trail and how the energy coming off them is tickling down her spine...you know what, LKH, why don't you just make this little revenge fantasy complete and have them all eat Raborn on the spot and then, instead of getting shot, the entire department throws them a party for a job well-done? It honestly cannot get any more juvenile as it is, so just go whole hog!
But, nope, Anita tells them "Easy, guys" and Domino says Raborn "doesn't get to talk to you like that." Makes me wonder from that wording if there are people who do? Anyway, first sign you may have picked bad deputies: they act like they're going to attack a guy just because he insults someone. She then threatens to report Raborn for sexual harassment, which sadly I have to admit would be within her rights; interrogating someone about their sex life is not okay. Yes, even if that person is Anita, especially since this one of the few instances where she wasn't advertising the fact she has multiple sexual relationships (the PDA with Micah and Nate, for instance). Sorry, but I can't just say "well, this protection doesn't apply to this person because I don't like them" even when it comes to fiction...that's what LKH/Anita does. What I *can* say is that it's still totally bogus when Anita decides that "Socrates was right; it was the fact that I was a woman."
I believe I have already gone over why this is a load of crap and how Raborn didn't subject any other woman to this treatment when he was on-screen with them, nor was it indicated by Clark that he had a history of that when it would have been relevant. I admit it is *possible* that it could be because Anita is a woman who is particularly known to be sexually active, since there are indeed different standards around that then for men, but given her overall shitty and inept behavior so far on this case, I'm more inclined to say that Raborn reported her because he's a good cop and saw an abuse of a law, and any personal dislike for her is because she's rude, a loose cannon, and runs off during hunts with no explanation. It definitely is not because "Cops usually thought policewomen were only two things: bitches or sluts. I had a reputation for both." No, Anita, it is YOU who thinks women in general are always one of those.
I've seen a lot of sporkers and commenters say that LKH must hate cops because of how she writes them, and I've always said that, based on her blogs and how she brags about having cop friends, gushes over hanging out with anyone ex-military, etc., I think it's that she idolizes them for this false image she's got of them as being these stone-cold license-to-kill badasses who get to take their guns anywhere they want, and because she thinks they're so awesome, she constantly has to have Anita one-up them to prove how awesome she is, since besting cops is a BIG DEAL in LKH's head...and since she doesn't know how to write Anita being good at her job so much as other people being bad at theirs, the cops end up incompetent as hell. And as for the supposed Boys-Only attitude she's brought up before...remember, to LKH, misogyny is cool, and if Anita can prove herself to said Boys Club types then that means Anita must be better than all those Other Girls who couldn't (or, as in the case of Thurgood and Stavros, couldn't do it without *gag* 'basically becoming a man' in LKH's view). But comment after comment like these has made me think there's something more too, something that is closer to hate...LKH is jealous of cops and military too. It goes hand in hand with the fangirling, but it also, consciously or not, makes her resent them for getting to be so cool and darkitty-dark and get-to-have-IRL-authority when she can't, and I'm willing to bet she thinks that's unfair, so that's where we get the now-regular Meanie Cops like Shaw and Raborn, there for Anita to cut down for thinking she doesn't deserve her badge (which probably also stands in for us haters who think the same) and to imply that they don't deserve theirs (Raborn risking his career over personal grudges and having a gut that might not let him pass his next physical, for instance.)
Raborn asks since when is the truth grounds for harassment, Anita "thought of several replies, none of them helpful" so she says nothing and Raborn asks if it's true then. Now, I'm sure you think it's odd that Anita for once did not have a 'witty' retort that left Raborn speechless instead. LKH has a reason for that, and it's so Anita can do this instead: Smiles, points to Nicky and Domino, and says she's fucking him and him. She asks if she forgot anyone, all of them shake their heads, Bobby Lee gives Raborn a threatening look. I guess he doesn't like being reminded that he was indeed metaphysically fucked against his will via Rafael and dislikes even more now seeing that Anita doesn't even count it as sex let alone rape, and since there's no point getting mad at Anita, as there's nothing he can do about her, he's directing his anger at Raborn instead for bringing it up.
"See, Raborn, I'm only fucking two of them. Does that make you feel any better?" and Raborn turns red from blushing, then purple from anger, and Anita describes her own tone/smile as "sweet and insulting." Oh grow up, dear god. Anita asks if he has any other questions, and then Clark comes out of her office and tells Raborn to go Oregon. He asks why, considering they have a serial killer case going on. She repeats that she's his superior and she's telling him to go to Oregon (doesn't say why) and if he questions her again he'll go to Alaska. Raborn asks why, Clark says "Because I'm tired of your attitude and because I can. One more word and I promise you that you will be seeing so much real estate that by the time you drive back this case will be over." She fails to mentioned "I'm just here as part of LKH's revenge fantasy against bullies and haters, and she wants someone in a position of authority to chew you out because that's who you represent, and that's also why I'm a woman and they're the sexist, because they're always saying LKH is so sexist!"
Raborn gets really red and Anita thinks that "eventually he was going to stroke out if he didn't learn to control himself." Oh that is SO hilarious coming from her. Clark gives him a note saying where to go and what she wants him to pick up. Now, maybe this turns out to be a serious plot point and that's why Anita is for now left out on whatever it says and why Clark wanted to write it instead of say it...but I think it's so LKH didn't have to think of anything. Raborn marches off. Clark tells Anita that bringing in lovers as deputies won't help her reputation, Anita assures Clark that "neither of them is just a pretty package" and "they'll be an asset to the case." Clark says "they better be more than a booty call, Blake. No offense, gentlemen." Shouldn't them being her lovers indicate she'll have a conflict of interest when it comes to putting them in the line of fire? Nicky says none taken, Clark sighs and asks Anita to prove to her that they're more than just pretty, that they can "help us catch these things." Anita asks about her word choice, Clark says that nothing in this case is human "so until I have another word for them, they're things, perps, monsters. Now get out there and do something useful." And then she goes back to her office and they do down the hallway...so much for proving anything to her?
Lisandro says Raborn will be trouble, Anita says he'll try. I'd like to know how the hell he'd even try, considering he'll be trying to Oregon? Domino, rather than asking that, asks how they'll stop him, Edward says they'll do the job so well that Raborn can't come back at Anita. Ares says the job is to kill the Harlequin right (without using their name, of course) and Anita says yep and Ares (who is mentioned now as having a delicate face...see, this is how you describe people organically, not an all-at-once infodump!) smiles and says they'll be good at that. They all nod, and "I realized in that moment we were a pack, a pride, we were a unit. We were--us." I am---rolling my eyes! "And for the first time since I understood that it was the Harlequin killing the weretigers, I felt...hopeful." I don't. Not for the quality of this book, at least.
CHAPTER TALLIES
What Does That Mean: 1
Whitebread: 1
My Sanity: AT AN ALL-TIME ZERO!
Bad Guys: 10
Can't Say Penis: 18
Curves: 3
Dead Mother:1
Flavor: 2
Guy/Girl Stuff: 19
Manita: 7
Mood Ring Eyes: 3
Needless Re-clarification: 22
Non-Answer Answers: 2
Pretty To Think So: 2
Racial Angst: 1
Short: 12
Skinny Women Suck: 3
Smells Like Home: 3
Smile Doesn't Reach Eyes: 3
Sooo: 8
Spill: 4
Sweeties: 3
Things Low In My Body: 2
Wet and Tight: 1
What Does That Mean: 14
Whitebread: 3
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2013-10-07 07:02 pm (UTC)cops didn't like you styling your hair on the job
So they're like pretty much everyone else then, barring a few jobs in which one's appearance is central. LKH is so out of touch it is scary.
Women are less likely to be active abusers, but when they are, it's usually more violent.
The "women are more violent when they abuse" part is 100% bullshit. LKH is making up this lie, it's part of her misogynistic, macho-worshiping worldview in which men are pathetic widdle woobies and women are violent and depraved. It's like how in Dancing, she claimed that men wouldn't leer at women and that women's "energy" was more violent in strip clubs. Complete and total bullshit.
he wasn't the tallest guy waiting for me in the hallway, but he was the biggest
Nicky is slightly wider than a queen-sized mattress, so yeah.
It made us closer than just dating ever would have
One cannot be "close" to someone over whom one has complete control and who does not have any sort of personality. Saying she's "close" to Nicky is like thinking you're close to a Real Doll, except at least in the case of a doll, there isn't a real person on the other end to hurt.
Cops usually thought policewomen were only two things: bitches or sluts. I had a reputation for both.
Eesh. Anita just hates everything except big-dicked sex toys, doesn't she? And Jean-Claude.
Also, gee, I wonder why Anita would have that reputation. Usually "bitch" just means "not a doormat" and "slut" means anything the insulter wants it to mean (like "wouldn't date me"), but I don't think that's what's going on here. A competent author could show that the reason a character is called them is that other people fear her and want to take away her power. But over and over, all Anita does is insist that she isn't a *misogynist term*; all those OTHER women are *misogynist terms*, but not Anita. And I'm sure Anita also has a reputation as an airhead, because she is one.
LKH is jealous of cops and military too
I think you're absolutely right. I also think something similar is going on with her treatment of men, but I haven't figured out how to articulate it yet. Actually, she seems extremely jealous of other women as well.
no subject
Date: 2013-10-07 07:06 pm (UTC)Ahahah, that explains a lot!
100% bullshit
Thanks, I didn't want to make a call on that since I wasn't sure on what statistics there are on it, but it being just more of her crap makes sense, especially coupled with the Dancing comments.
Nicky is slightly wider than a queen-sized mattress, so yeah.
It cracks me up so hard how she says in Affliction that HE'S ALMOST AS WIDE THROUGH THE SHOULDERS AS SHE IS TALL WTF
Saying she's "close" to Nicky is like thinking you're close to a Real Doll
Eeeew, that is so creepily accurate!
I also think something similar is going on with her treatment of men, but I haven't figured out how to articulate it yet.
Yeah, ditto on both counts. And she is VERY jealous of other women!
no subject
Date: 2013-10-07 08:30 pm (UTC)Lol, I think LKH's mind would explode if she ever went down to Jamaica. My family and I took a vacation there to visit family, and because Jamaica is pretty much a melting pot of different races, there's some really interesting and beautiful combinations you see. There were many dark skinned people with bright yellow-blond hair and light eyes, granted the hair wasn't that silken 'white-bread' stuff that LKH loves, but it was naturally colored that way. So yeah, LKH really needs to expand her horizons when it comes to race, because white people aren't the only ones who can 'naturally' have blond hair. Of course if she knew this, she'd probably use her insulting, roundabout ways of talking about mixed people (fun genetics, flavors, something darker and more 'exotic' than European).
"smooth empty socket of scar tissue"
How can a socket of scar tissue be 'smooth?' Really?
The whole Raborn thing is just so predictable at this point. There's always this sexist/racist/homophobic cop that Anita has to fight with, and this strawman always has a personal vendetta against Anita because she's just so tiny and beautiful and tough like one of the boys and good golly a red-blooded American boy just can't stand that sort of thing. And then she gets to have revenge fantasy arguments with him that makes her look so smart and cool, look at Anita standing up against racists. The thing is, this is all just pure fantasy from someone who has never, ever been in that situation before. LKH really has no idea what racism is like and how POC have to deal with it. She writes Anita as a white person dealing with 'meanies', not as a POC dealing with real-life bigots and racists. It's really kinda insulting, particularly when LKH tweets about how she stopped a white man from telling a racist joke in public and acts like that gives her all the experience and understanding she needs, while completely forgetting that she approached that situation as a white woman and had the privilege of her whiteness. If LKH had been a black woman in that situation, I am positive that it would have gone a lot differently.
no subject
Date: 2013-10-07 09:40 pm (UTC)http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Vanuatu_blonde.jpg
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Blonde_girl_Vanuatu.jpg
LKH really has no idea what racism is like and how POC have to deal with it.
She really, really doesn't. I mean, I'm a white suburban middle-class kid myself so it's not like I have much better an idea, but given how she also has no idea what homophobia is like and how LGBT folks deal with it (which I do have experience with) I can guess that her handling is just as bad, even if I may not be able to see it as well. And yeah, it is VERY insulting.
no subject
Date: 2013-10-07 11:21 pm (UTC)But yeah, the level of ignorance that LKH displays is astounding. Because you're right, being a white suburban middle-class kid doesn't automatically make someone oblivious to these sorts of things. You were spot on about the unfortunate racial implications of making all the were-rats Hispanic. But LKH is like on a whole other level beyond white suburban middle-class. It's like she was in a bubble her entire life, separate from all these strange creatures known as 'Hoo-mans.' I almost feel as if she is trying to communicate with us, but is unable to translate her alien thoughts into our language and culture. Maybe she should invest in a Babel-fish.
no subject
Date: 2013-10-07 11:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-07 10:00 pm (UTC)LKH can't handle anything. She cannot even observe or write about anything she herself has personally experienced in any way, shape, or form. Except, possibly, hair.
no subject
Date: 2013-10-07 09:05 pm (UTC)You need to be really careful where you've based Ruthven's hideout. During the Battle of Britain, kids weren't just sent away from London and the other major cities. They were sent away from other tactical targets - such as the factories, the major ports, the radar and air bases, etc. Back then, radar was new and awesome and it was the first, crucial part of their defensive web, since the radar operators had to figure out where the enemy planes were coming from, where they were likely headed, and scramble the appropriate airbase's planes. It was their jealously guarded top secret bit of tech that gave the British's smaller air force a definitive edge against the Luftwaffe. They wouldn't've sent the kids out of the cities to live cheek by jowl with the radar or air bases.
I wish I could remember where exactly the radar and air bases were but outside of thinking 'in the north... a few in northernmost England, at least one big one in Scotland... and in the south, Dover and some others...' I don't remember. I just remember that there were a lot more bases than that.
So, uh, careful? (Or use a made up moor...)
no subject
Date: 2013-10-07 09:42 pm (UTC)The moor is indeed fictional, but it's hinted to be located somewhere in the Pennines, the possibly West Pennine Moors.
no subject
Date: 2013-10-07 09:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-07 10:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-08 07:23 pm (UTC)Most of the aircraft factory locations are decently documented - if you have an idea of area, I can probably find you more info.
no subject
Date: 2013-10-07 10:02 pm (UTC)"My Sanity: AT AN ALL-TIME ZERO!"
Oh dear. You should really get a medal for this... Say, for anyone who remembers the older days of sporking, are any bearers of Purple Sporks allowed to bestow them on other sporkers? Because I think this AB-sporking effort qualifies for one. Or one per book. And drinks on the house.
no subject
Date: 2013-10-07 10:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-08 09:10 am (UTC)Women are less likely to be active abusers, but when they are, it's usually more violent.
I worked in the Criminal Justice Unit. I saw countless files and cases dealing with abuse of all kinds. I saw two files where the accused were female. The first case was a drunken brawl between a group of women. The second was a mother sexually abusing her son. I raise this not because I know the stats better than LKH (I don't know the stats at all), but because the idea that women are more violent than men, again, doesn't ring true. In my experience, female violence (against other women or men) was largely the exception. I saw probably thousands of examples of male-on-male and male-on-female violence of all kinds - rape, domestic abuse, drunken fighting, etc. I only saw two cases of female violence against men or other women. I would love to know LKH's sources for her sweeping generalisations.
no subject
Date: 2013-10-08 08:17 pm (UTC)I dunno, maybe she hears it thrown out as 'fact' on a crime show drama or something?
no subject
Date: 2013-10-08 08:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-08 08:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-08 11:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-09 12:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-09 12:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-08 11:21 pm (UTC)HAHA, SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT! They're like the special few immune to the Sue reality-warping
no subject
Date: 2013-10-11 02:40 am (UTC)And she could bolster her case BY NOT MAKING HER OWN STUPID HEROINE A MISOGYNIST HERSELF. Please, ANITA calling anybody a misogynist? That’s rich. People living in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. And making Anita cry misogyny makes it all the more disgusting when LKH downplays actual misogyny against her other female characters. Peter’s girlfriends being “damaged goods,” anyone?
/She really believes that "not liking Anita for any reason, even totally rational non-gendered ones" is equivalent to misogyny regardless of how the person does or doesn't react to any other woman./
Nah, she’s just abusing the misogyny card. It’s not about women, it’s about Anita. If crying misogyny helps readers sympathize with Anita, then she’s all for it.
/"But the real anime hair was Nicky's."/
I’m surprised that LKH even knows what anime is.
/Cops usually thought policewomen were only two things: bitches or sluts./
Oh, really? Wow, I guess that all of the real-life policemen out there with female partners or superiors must think pretty low of them, right? Makes you wonder how they can even manage to work together. Oh, wait, you’re just projecting and the real world doesn’t work that way.
So, basically this entire chapter was just a revenge fantasy to stroke Anita’s ego.